Crimson Edward
by Mrs. Cope
Summary: At last, Edward has his Bella. Why, then, is he experiencing bouts of high anxiety and seeing red? This AU story follows the canon pairings with some unexpected twists from Edward's point of view. Sequel to Blue Edward.
1. Chapter 1: Returns

_**A/N: Thank you for joining me on this sequel to Blue Edward. It's my intention to post at least once every 2 weeks, hopefully more often. I hope you'll enjoy this story as much as the last. **_

_**Big thank yous to my kick-ass beta, Mr. Bigg, and to the fans who encouraged me to go on with the story. This is for you.**_

_**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**_

**Returns**

By the time we pulled up in front of the house, night had fallen and the streets of Forks were empty. I had grappled with the fear of the crimson unknown as Bella slept; when she woke, I put the worry aside. The porch light glared into the night like a beacon, heralding Charlie's unrest inside.

"I'm so afraid I'm going to make a mistake, Edward." She glanced to the porch just as Charlie's shadow passed across the front window. She spun back to me, panic stricken. "What is he thinking? Can you tell from here?"

"He's worried because it's getting late. He had hoped we'd be here earlier, although the flight would not have arrived until six, and it takes three hours to get here, without stops." I was giving her too much information, trying to make her more comfortable with the lie. "More than anything, he's anxious to see you, to find you whole and well, and he wants to talk to you alone. Remember what we talked about."

"Right. As little detail as possible, general statements, things I confirmed with Renee." After calling Bella's inquisitive mother, we'd collaborated on what Bella would tell Charlie. "It's too bad we can't just tell Charlie what we told Renee, so they both have the same story." She looked back to the front window. "But I guess that's out of the question."

Bella sprung the news about our tryst to her mother on the drive back. Though my family was in the know, we had decided to hold our small wedding as our on private secret; the concern of accidentally spilling the information to her mother never arose. Renee's excitement was audible over the cell phone pressed to Bella's ear. "Oh Bella, honey! Was it wonderful? Was he gentle? Was he sweet? Are you being safe?" Bella patiently and curtly answered each query, rolling her eyes at me as the rapid-fire questions continued, until at last, Renee's inquisition ended in "What will you tell Charlie?" Bella gave her our rehearsed story of the vacation: just hanging out around the house, talking and sharing, while I worked on my entrance essays for college. She recited the story perfectly, with conviction and confidence. As lies went, it was just generic and predictable enough to be convincing. She was getting better at lying, and though it worked for the present situation, I wondered idly if that was a good thing.

I opened the car door and stepped into the misty night. Bella met me at the hatch of the Volvo as I pulled out her bag. "Will you walk me to the door?"

"Of course, Bella. Do you take me for a cad?" I smiled, trying to feign my way through our first goodbye since our marriage.

Bella's worry about facing Charlie clouded her attention, and she my little deceit went undetected. She smiled playfully, a nervous trill affecting her voice. "No, in fact you're like the opposite of a cad. You're the only man I know that has to marry someone just to have sex with her." She glanced up at my face, her grin still in place. Her smile faded as she read my expression, warning me that my disguise was not working. "Of course, we both know it was more than that. Will you come back tonight?"

"I will be back before you wake up," I replied lightly, smiling. I laced my tone with mock strain. "Of course, I have to talk to Carlisle, and you know _Alice _will want a blow by blow replay of the ceremony."

"Or do you mean a blow by blow of the ride home?" She laughed gently at her little joke.

"Very funny," I replied with exaggerated pique. "You know Alice already saw that." Her expression darkened immediately. "Anyway, she'll want details."

"Good luck with that," she said sourly, turning her attention back to the front door. "Here we go."

As we arrived on the porch, she turned to me and wrapped her delicate arms around my neck. I pulled her closer, bending to give her a gentle kiss. "Good night, Mr. Cullen," she whispered and pulled her lip between her teeth.

I smiled, placing my thumb on her chin to gently roll her lip away. "Don't ruin the most perfect mouth," I whispered in return. "I'll be very put out if something should happen to my favorite lip," I said, then brought my lips to her neck, letting my wintry breath sigh into her ear. "Mrs. Cullen." She shivered and drew closer to me.

Charlie's footfall became evident on the other side of the door, waiting, listening for my egress before he greeted her home. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella," I said loudly, and stamped my feet as I walked away. As I expected, the door swung open as I reached the car, and he pulled Bella into a bear hug without a glance in my direction.

~ooO0Ooo~

The ride home left me with time to ponder the crimson blaze that had engulfed me, but the solitude brought no answers. I needed Carlisle's input, his mind tuned with the biomechanics of our bodies. I relived the events again and again, trying to make sense of the sensations, to identify the triggers, understand the unknown. As the house came into view, I realized I was no closer to an answer than when the incident itself had happened.

I pulled the car to the porch of the big house. The anxiety continued to build within me, my inability to decipher the mystery distending my nerves until they were as taut as a drum. I opened the door and stepped out.

Alice sat between Jasper's legs on the steps. Though Alice's eyes shone with excitement, she didn't rise or stir. She was resisting asking for the emotional details from the wedding to fill in the visual that had played in her head, and instead said flatly, "He's in his study." Her thoughts were scattered and impatient, her mood the equivalent of a small child who had been admonished for jumping up and down in excitement.

Jasper was feeding on Alice's mood, working to contain her disappointment and still allow her excited inner child to jump freely. His love for Alice was primary in his mind, the thoughts flowing over to his beatific expression. "Jasper," I nodded as I approached. He returned the nod, without speaking. I felt the serenity wash over me as I passed by, his gift extending out to me in silent offering. My thoughts were calm, focused and aware, sharp and crisp but without the anxious edge.

"Thank you, both," I said as I passed by, taking the stairs two at a time.

Carlisle's study door stood open, framing my father in a backlit halo. He had heard my approach and was ready to greet me, lifting his arms out in welcome. "Edward," he sighed, smiling. I embraced him, truly happy to see my father, my mentor, and my friend. He sensed my mood immediately.

_What is it, son? Is it Bella? _

"Bella's fine, she's well." I returned his embrace, then pulled back to face him.

"Alice said the honeymoon had gone well. I knew you could do it, Edward. Esme and I are both so proud of you," he said, pausing.

"Thank you, Carlisle," I murmured.

"But I can see there's something else, something bothering you. Did everything go as planned? Are you worried about your future together? What has you so tense?

"I need to speak to you, Carlisle," I said, my hand raising of its own accord to run through my hair. "Frankly. I hope you'll forgive my awkwardness. This is a somewhat embarrassing situation, but I really need your counsel." I watched his face, gauging his concern.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, Edward. We've been friends for too long to do otherwise." _I'll hold my parental congratulations until later._

Again, I was indebted to Carlisle sensitive nature. "Something happened on the way home. I was completely unprepared for it, and I'm not sure what caused it." He motioned for me to sit, then turned, walking back to his desk and sat down. I moved with him, and took a chair facing the desk. He watched me with interest and concern. "I'm not sure where to begin. My timing may be off."

"What happened?"

"Bella was, uh… pleasuring me orally on the drive back, and for a moment, I literally saw red."

"Saw red?"

"Yes, it was as if a crimson film descended over me, and I felt the compulsion to have my way with her more strongly, like a fit or temper."

_Well, after all, you are just newlyweds. _I heard the tenor of his thoughts, as if my response were acceptable, natural.

"It wasn't anything acceptable, Carlisle. It was, extraordinarily… intense.

_Were you angry, or upset? Were you thirsty?_

"No, no, not at all," I said emphatically. "I was enjoying every second of it, although resisting responding to her body was far more difficult than it has been in the past. I found myself wanting to…" I was unsure how to continue, without being graphic and obscene. "I wanted to hurt her."

"But you didn't," Carlisle countered, unable to understand the violence of my mind. _Your restraint has been heroic, Edward._ "What did you do?"

"What I have done before – move my concentration away from the pleasure to something more mundane. In this case, I focused on the road. I reined in the emotions before they controlled my actions," I said, running my hand through my hair in stress. I willed myself still, until the right words formed in my head. "I will always be grateful for whatever mechanism took hold and kept me from my baser self. The stunning part was the suddenness with which it seized me; one moment I was simply enjoying the feelings, the next, I was in a rage, struggling."

"Edward. I know how protective of Bella you are," Carlisle began. I recognized his reassuring doctor tone immediately. "And as I've said before, your self control has been exemplary. But you are newlyweds, and this is a new sensation for you. Is it possible that this was a one-time incident, brought on by over sensitive response to a new physical stimulation?"

I considered this for a moment. Though I'd pleasured myself throughout the years, the excitement and stimulation Bella gave me was as no other experience in all my days; it was possible that I had been overcome with sensation. It didn't explain the crimson coloration, but it was plausible that the whole incident was a unique occurrence. "You could be right."

"Watch for the event to reoccur. If that happens, we'll investigate further," he said confidently, standing from behind his desk and walking to where I sat. "For now, I say enjoy the honeymoon." He clapped me on the shoulder, smiling as I stood.

"I suppose you're right," I said, as I heard Alice chirp in the background of my mind. _Okay, I was good, Edward. Get your butt out here and fill me in. _"I guess I'd better go talk to Alice before she spontaneously combusts." Carlisle chuckled, and the door burst open, disbursing a very irritated little pixie.

"Details, Edward! I want to know how you felt, how she felt, did she like the roses? Did anyone question the license after the wedding? I tried really hard not to watch after the wedding, so you've got to give me the whole scoop!"

Alice's exuberance was hard to ignore, and I did owe her one. "All right, Alice. Come upstairs and talk to me while I get ready."

~ooO0Ooo~

I was exhilarated by the run back to the tiny Swan residence on the other side of town. After spending nearly an hour repeating everything to Alice, I was ready for the serenity that came with watching Bella sleep. Though she was not typically quiet, the deepness of her sleep combined with the dreamy somniloquy was fascinating and tranquil.

Tonight was no exception. Her soft tresses framed her face as they fanned out on the pillow, a sleeping angel with a mahogany halo. I stood over her, watching, deep in my private enchantment that was the mystery of Bella Swan. The slow and steady rise and fall of her chest was hypnotic; I let the rhythm capture me in its spell as I speculated about our lives ahead.

Bella had asked me to change her, and I had resisted the request. I could not leap with the inner delight that grew from the pit of my stomach up through my chest; I could not revel in the pure joy that overwhelmed knowing that she trade her very life to be with me. No. I had to be strong, to remember what was at stake. Though I would gain the deepest joy, it came at far too high a price for her.

I continued to watch Bella as my mind raced on. What would she know of her soul? It was her soul that cried to me now, her body and blood now mine for the taking. I could not steal her soul; I could not rob her of entrance to those Hallowed Gates in the realm of the Savior. While I had broken commandments without remorse. I would not allow this for her. She was everything, her life, everything. I would prize her humanity above myself.

"Edward."

Her lips spoke my name, but her eyes never opened to recognize me. My sweet girl was dreaming again, dreaming of me. Immediately, I was beside her on the bed.

"What is it, Bella? I'm here," I whispered in her ear. Her scent distracted me, and I began placing small chaste kisses into the hollow behind her ear. I continued kissing down her neck to her collarbone. "Speak, love. Tell me of your heart."

"I want you, Edwerrrrrrr," she purred in her sleep. Her hands twitched in sleep-motion, reaching for me unconsciously. I was immediately hard and breathless, overjoyed that she would want me even in her dreams.

"I'm here, my love. I will do as you bid," I murmured as I planted soft kisses along her jaw. A chill ran down her muscles, and she rolled to her back. I reached down, pulling the quilt from the foot of the bed to wrap across her neck and chest.

"No, mmm, " she moaned in her sleep. "There. Kiss me… there." Her feet rumpled the covers weakly as her hands moved to her waist.

I felt my erection pulse with need. "Bella, do you want my mouth on you?" I whispered teasingly. The moan of her reply was all I needed.

I moved to the foot of the bed. The sheets fell away from the tucked-in closure easily, and I slid beneath them. The scent of her sex was everywhere, overwhelming, like an intense erotic bouquet. I tugged at her boy shorts, pulling them to her knees to expose her beautiful, sweet pussy, and with all the gentleness I could muster, lapped my tongue into her soft folds. Her clit was moist and hard and I had no trouble finding the center of her pleasure. She moaned lowly as I slowly dragged the flat of my tongue across her soft flesh, over the firm nub of her clit, and back again.

I pressed my mouth around her lips, lightly sucking, flicking her sporadically with my tongue. The warmth of her heated flesh against my mouth began to warm and numb my skin, arousing me and spurring me to whip my tongue against her. Still she moaned, and her hands moved to my hair, holding my head against her. Her body still responded with the dullness of sleep, but the rhythm of her heart told me she would wake before long.

The sheets were wet below her. The temptation to be inside her was agonizing, but I seemed incapable of pulling my mouth away from her mound. I pushed her panties down, freeing her legs, giving my hand access. "Yes, yes, Edward yes," she sighed, and I knew she was no longer asleep.

I stilled my tongue and pulled the sheet off my head. Bella's excited eyes peered down at me, her breath coming in ragged gasps. She pushed against my head. "Don't stop, please, don't stop," she panted, and I was all too happy to oblige. I threw the covers back over top of me, and went back to my oral investigation of Bella's core, adding my fingers as a substitute for my cock. Her tight little box clutched and released my fingers, her breath matching the convulsions of her muscles. Her lips warmed mine as I worked her clit, all the while growing harder myself.

Suddenly, Bella's body began to constrict around my finger. I didn't need to ask; she breathed "Oh God!" and fell deeply into the pillows, her orgasm shaking the bed. I sucked her clit with steady pressure as she came and relaxed. As her pussy loosened around my finger, I pulled away from her, sliding up to lie beside her in bed. She threw her arms around me, pulling herself as close as possible to me. "Oh Edward," she breathed into my neck, and her body convulsed in spasms.

"Bella!" I pulled away, searching for her face. The tears flowed freely, the picture of abject misery. "Bella, love, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she sobbed. "That was just so… intense." She pulled me close again, in a weak imitation of a kitten's stranglehold. "Just hold me, please," she wept into my neck.

I held her tightly. "Shhh, shh, little Bella. It's all right, shhh," I repeated over and over. Soon her hold began to loosen and her breath deepened. I adjusted my arms, cradling her as she slept, humming her lullaby as she dreamt.

_**A/N: Sigh. Oh to be held like that! Please leave me your thoughts; it really does influence what comes next. **_


	2. Chapter 2: Promise

**_A/N: I hope you all like this chapter. This is one of my personal favorites. _**

**_I have to thank my wonderful beta, Mr. Bigg, for all the help and guidance, keeping me on track - you rock! And I owe a huge thank you to those loyal fans who have read and reviewed the work up until now. I wish I could tell you how much it means to me, and how your ideas, likes and dislikes, and comments inspire my work. You have my gratitude!_**

_All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

><p><strong>Promise<strong>

I slid into the passenger seat as the truck roared into life.

"Thanks for riding with me today. I know how you hate my truck." She eyed my expression, waiting for the displeasure of the memory to take me. It was true, her truck was archaic, maddeningly slow, and an eyesore. "I don't hate it, Bella. It's yours, and you love it. How could I hate it?"

"Well, it won't last forever, we both know that."

"True enough. And when it passes on to its next life, I hope you'll allow me –"

"Don't say it. I know it's going to happen, but, just don't say it, ok?"

"As you wish," I said.

She reached her hand across and held it out for mine. "I just didn't want you to leave again. Besides, it's good for appearances. This way it doesn't look like you wait on me hand and foot everyday."

My hand slipped perfectly into hers, the current between us as strong as ever. Her skin was silk; warm, ivory silk.

"You know, if we married publicly, I would never have to leave you." It was my turn to gauge her expression. She stared straight ahead, and though I could only see the right side of her face, I could hear her teeth torture her left bottom lip.

"It's just that," she sighed and her brow furrowed. "We're still in high school and I don't want people to think, like, we _had_ to get married." She glanced at me, then back to the road. "I don't know…"

"Bella, you're marrying a vampire and you're worried what others will think?" I smiled wryly in spite of myself. The notion seemed absurd.

"You can laugh if you want to," she said, her defenses coming up. "But my mom had to take a lot of crap because they thought she was pregnant."

"Yes, Bella, she did, but then, she _was_ pregnant," I reminded her gently. "And you mother married a human, so it's hardly the same comparison."

She pulled into the school's lot and parkedthe truck, killing the dull roar of the engine. She turned to me. "But it's a small town, Edward. People don't forget. They'll think 'like mother, like daughter'." She paused reflectively. "And I'm the only one who knows I'm marrying a vampire. Maybe if I was a vampire, too, it would be different…" She sat still, looking down at her lap, waiting for my response.

The warning bell screamed, breaking the morning stillness that had suddenly filled the cab of the truck. Bella jumped, but continued to hold her head down, as if in shame.

"Let's talk about this after school," I whispered as I leaned toward her, lifting her chin with my fingers. "Don't be sad, love."

"I just think you think I'm silly, but it's what I want." Tears were welling in her eyes as she watched me, and my chest ached to see her so unexpectedly sad.

"You're not silly," I reassured her. "The bell's about to ring, Bella. You have my word that we will talk about this, when we can be alone, uninterrupted. Privately, and unhurried."

She nodded softly, then picked her backpack up off the floor. "Okay," she mumbled. She turned to hop out of the truck, and her foot caught the floorboard, sending her plummeting headfirst into the asphalt, her pack flying, spewing its contents across the ground.

The lot was clear; I sped to the driver's side and caught her mid-dive.

"Careful," I whispered, my arms full of my love. Her startled expression spoke her humiliation over tripping; her wild heartbeat spoke of the same effect I experienced with her closeness. Against my own desires, I set her gingerly on the ground, my hands on her shoulders as she stood and regained her balance. "Are you all right?"

"Thank you," she huffed. "You should probably turn me quick just so I don't kill myself first."

"Bella," I began, and the bell rang again. "Should I carry you to class?"

She looked around the lot at the papers floating to the damp ground and sighed heavily. "They're never going to believe I really lost them." She bent to pick up the papers closest to her. As she stood to resituate her backpack on her shoulder, I handed her the remainder of the papers that I had gathered as she stooped. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that."

"Time will tell, love. Let's go to class."

~ooO0Ooo~

I'd spent endless hours in school, playing my tedious role of tiresome teenager for so many years, one would think I would be capable of passing these few minutes without stress or anxiety. But to the contrary, my fear and tension were ominously vibrant today. Had Bella's scent not intoxicated me as she sat beside me, I might have exploded, taking my case of nerves out on the unsuspecting children in the classroom.

I pulled another deep draw of her heady aroma into my lungs. My throat ached with the burn of her perfume; the sensation soothed anxiousness as it simultaneously excited me. I wondered how we work this issue out, how we could reach any sort of compromise. I knew Bella; once she'd decided, her actions did not falter from that path. How could I save her soul, and compromise with her desires? What of my desires, wants and lusts that seemed to grow with each touch, each intimacy, instead of slaking? I swallowed hard, trying to cool the flames of desire and confusion that stoked my agitation.

Bella watched me from the corner of her eyes, then looked back to her notebook, scribbling something in her nearly illegible hand. She pushed the binder toward me. _Are you all right? _

I scrawled a quick "yes" back to her without shifting my gaze. Mr. Berty hadn't slept well the night before, upset over a accidental break of one of his prized Lladros and was looking for any excuse to take that exhaustion out on any of us. She pulled the notebook back in front of her, scanning the hasty note and sighing.

"Ms. Swan, perhaps you'd like to provide the insight we're looking for here."

Bella's heart picked up and her cheeks flamed; she hadn't heard the question and didn't like being in the spotlight without the answer. I turned to look at her, moving my fingers over my mouth, as if resting my chin in my hand. "Bella, say, _'Fitzgerald portrays the 1920s as an era of decayed social and moral values, evidenced in its overarching cynicism, greed, and empty pursuit of pleasure.'_ "

"Fitzgerald portrays the 1920s as decayed social and moral values, evidenced in overarching cynicism, greed, and empty pleasure." She took a deep breath. "Or, at least, that's how I saw it."

Mr. Berty looked as if he'd swallowed a bitter pill. "Quite. Eyes front, people," and continued on with the lecture.

Bella's mouth hung open as she gasped to catch her breath. I tried to smile, reassuring her, willing her to see that Mr. Berty was satisfied and had moved his attention elsewhere in the classroom. Her eyes cut to me furtively, and she went back to writing notes in her binder. I leaned back in the chair, returning to my sullen contemplation of the minutes as they dragged on.

Bella's lullaby twisted through my thoughts as her scent reached me. There was something new to it, though, a new refrain that deviated from the innocence and longing of the original tune. The refrain was terse and tense, and though it carried the original tune, it held an element of destruction and rebirth. It echoed my concerns for the discussion with Bella, but there was something more, something… pointed, directly to the core of my being. I turned the phrase over and over in my mind, watching the facets of the song coil and twine as it unraveled in my thoughts.

~ooO0Ooo~

At last, the school day was over, and we were free to talk. We walked slowly to the truck, her hand small and warm in mine, both of us lost in our own musings. I opened the driver's door and waited for her to slide into her seat. She paused and turned to face me. "Where to?"

"I was thinking… the meadow. Is that acceptable?"

"Um, yes," she said, reaching for the steering wheel to pull herself up into the truck. She returned her gaze to me as she sat. "Will you tell me what was bothering you in class?"

I wasn't sure how to answer her. How did I explain that my song of her had taken on a darker, more menacing and foreboding tone? I pushed her door closed, and walked to the passenger side, climbing in. I nodded to her lap. "Seat belt." I fastened my belt and watched her buckle in.

She started the engine, a staid monster brought to life as a roaring beast by her touch. I smiled at the heretofore unstudied thought, and its similarity to my life with Bella. She backed slowly out of the space, the air pregnant as she waited for my response.

As we turned onto the highway, I said, "Often, my thoughts don't necessarily follow a linear pattern, Bella. Some ideas are verbal or visual, a collection of words or pictures that give way to actions that are easily described. But you may remember that I hear things musically as well. It's as if my brain has this mechanism to handle confusion or frustration; it sings to me."

"Were you confused or frustrated? What was it about?"

My Bella. Always so direct, so curious. "I was a bit of both, I imagine. I was wondering how our discussion this afternoon would go." There was no sense hiding the truth from her at this point; all my fears for her soul would soon be revealed.

She turned her eyes back to the highway, and I heard her drag her lip over her teeth once again. The cab of the truck was silent as we wound our way to the trailhead, and my imagination began to get the better of me. Her heartbeat was steady, and she drove with focus, but the grind of her teeth against that soft flesh increased in tempo, taking equal torment on my worried thoughts.

My composure was crumbling, yet I knew that my tension would do nothing to resolve any issue in our upcoming conversation. I let my mind drift to counting the revolutions of the tires per second as the song pressed to the back of my mind, easily calculating 5.363860209888676 revolutions per second, 321.8316125933206 per minute, so that when we arrived at the turnout for the trailhead, I'd calculated 3,137.85822 revolutions, and only three ways for the conversation to end.

She cut the engine and turned to open her door, but I was there before she could finish the task. "Would you like to walk?" I asked as I helped her from the truck.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd take me there, Edward. It'd be so much faster," she said. Her voice was flat and plain, with no trace of the disappointment or anger I'd worked up in my head. I turned my back to her and bent my knees, and she clambered on, griping her arms tightly around my neck.

"Ready?"

"'Kay," she agreed, and I launched into a run.

~ooO0Ooo~

The meadow was alive with spring: green grasses turned the ground into a welcome carpet, speckled with clumps of purple blossoms reaching to the sun. As I stepped out of the woods, my skin shot refracted rainbows out against the leaves and Bella's perfect skin.

I leaned back and took her hand, leading her carefully to a shady spot. Her feet caught on the bracken undergrowth, but she held steadfast to my hand, pulling strength from me when she needed it. I moved slowly, giving her the time she needed to reach the spot safely and with her dignity intact. As the shade eclipsed the prism light launching from my skin, Bella turned to sit.

"I'm really happy to be here with you again, Edward. I feel like our life together started here." Her outstretched hand, so trusting and open, was all the invitation I needed.

"Bella, I know you've been worried about me today," I began as I fell to my side next to her. Her hair lifted in the breeze caused by my movement; I lifted it away from her eyes. "I want to tell you not to worry. I love you. Nothing will change that, ever. I am simply pensive and sometimes morose by nature."

"I don't mind pensive. It's the morose part that bothers me," she said, reaching over to run her fingertips across my cheek. "Can't I help with the morose part?"

Her touch left a charged wake on my skin, and my body began to stir immediately. "You do, sweet girl, all the time. Your touch, your heart, your kiss; all these things bring me to the light."

She stretched out next to me, watching my face as she moved. "Are you afraid I'll be different if you change me?"

I wanted to sigh and reject her question, but the intensity of her gaze cut through my usual diverting manner. I closed my eyes and took a deep, unnecessary breath, internalizing the real meaning behind her words as the air filled my lungs. Her scent overpowered the grass and wildflowers, lightly scorching my throat.

"Bella," I whispered, slowly opening my eyes. "Do you believe in God?"

"Uh, I guess so. I never really thought about it. Why?"

"Please just bear with me."

"Okay, but I don't think –"

"Just listen for a moment, please," I cut her off. "When I was… human, I believed in God. I believed that I had a soul, and that if I loved God, and did right in His name, I would die and my soul would go to heaven. And then, I died. I didn't go to heaven; I was transformed into this unchanging body, forever in immortality.

"I've studied the Bible; I've had a century to do so. In that time, I've come to believe that my opportunity for my soul to unite with the Creator has past. This," I waved my arm down my body, "This is the last body my being will know. It should have gone to heaven, but it was diverted here. My birth mother, my birth father – they're united with the Creator in paradise. This world, with its violence and hatred, is all the heaven I'll ever know."

She opened her mouth to speak, and I held up my hand. "I would never willingly deny anyone I loved the opportunity to paradise, to join with their Creator. I have no such chance; you, however, are an entirely different story." I paused. The disbelief and confusion contorted her expression. I pulled her close to my chest, letting her warmth dispel the emptiness that besieged me as I spoke. "For me, this," I tightened my grasp minutely, "This is my heaven. I won't deny you yours."

She was very still, the only sounds were her shallow breaths and the wind through the trees and grasses. I felt wetness dampen my shirt, and I pulled back to lift her chin. "Bella?"

"Edward," her voice was barely a whisper. "My heaven is in your arms. I belong where you are. We belong together."

It was a tiny thing, these words spoken from her heart, but every fiber in my being soared with the enormity of her gift. She would forego paradise… for me. How could I ask that? What depraved monster must I be to accept this? She couldn't know what she was saying, what she was offering. She was eighteen; what could she know of eternity? Once again, I longed to hear her thoughts, to understand the depths of her emotion. Surely she could not love this damned creature binding her to this earth with the same depth and need I felt.

"Love, you are my wife, if not in the strictly legal sense, then in all the ways that matter. I will never leave you." I kissed the top of her head.

"I think I'm beginning to really understand that," she said into my chest. "And I'm not afraid of you leaving _me_. But if I don't change, someday, not because I want to, not for anything you've done, I will leave you. And if what you say is true, you won't be able to… follow…" a sob broke in her throat, thrusting the final word out in a cry "… _me!_"

I was dumbstruck. I didn't foresee this, although in hindsight her leap to our separation was obvious. I couldn't do that to her, never again. I'd left once; it was the darkest time in both of our existences. If I never left her again, it would never make up for that damned division.

She sobbed in my arms as I held her. I stroked her hair, and shushed her softly. She finally sniffed and straightened. "Edward, I don't want to leave you. Not ever. My soul –" I opened my mouth to object, but she shook her head. "My soul wouldn't know paradise if you weren't there. Make me like you, so I can know the only heaven I want – the only heaven I need."

My ambivalence tore through my logic. I wanted her, I wanted her forever and this is what she offered me. But to get what I'd always longed for, even before I knew what or who it was, to get that, it would cost no less than her soul.

She leaned up and looked into my face. Her eyes were tender, red and swollen, her face still wet from her tears. Something inside me twisted in agony, and I knew in that moment I would give her whatever she wanted. "I promise, Bella."


	3. Chapter 3: Seizure

_**A/N: Here we are with Edward and Bella in the meadow, Edward still reeling from promising Bella he would change her. (That's the recap for those who asked.)**_

**_Big thank yous as usual to my awesome beta, Mr. Bigg, for his tolerance and patience as the story works its way out of me. And thank you to my loyal readers, who've made me so happy with your reviews and kind words. _**

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><p><strong>Seizure<strong>

We laid there in each others arms, both silent with the weight of the promise. My mind rushed forward in rhythm to the lullaby in my head, past this fragile time, to the hours when she would lay burning and I would stand by impotently as she suffered. Would she still love me after subjecting her to such excruciating pain? Would she be so changed that she no longer loved me?

Through my pessimism, a thought trickled in: Alice would know. Alice would not only know when I asked her, she probably knew now. I wondered how the excitement was manifesting itself in her tiny being; thinking of the sparkle in her eyes pulled me out of my dolorous apprehension. The song trilled in harmony with Alice's trilling agitation, tinkling like a running brook. I chuckled lowly; I was sure the only reason I hadn't gotten a call yet was because there was no signal here.

"What's funny?" She didn't stir, but spoke from the icy cradle of my arms.

"Alice." I kissed the top of her head.

"Alice is funny?"

"Yes," I said, lifting us both to a seated position. "I'm surprised she hasn't materialized at the edge of the meadow by now. She's been waiting for me to make this decision. Waiting impatiently, I might add."

"How long has she been waiting?"

"A while."

"Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that. Should I be worried?"

"There's nothing to be worried about. Alice has seen you… changed since I took interest in you," I said, stopping short of the full picture. The tune hummed melodiously in the back of my thoughts, taking on a minor chord that harmonized with the lead strain of the music as I considered how the question had never been _if _Bella became a vampire, but more _how_ she did. My promise today would change that picture to crystal clear; there was no sense in heightening Bella's concern over battles that would never need fighting now.

"So… What do we do from here? Where do we go?"

"I've agreed to change you, Bella. Now we just need to decide when."

"Do it now," she said, her eyes lit with excitement. "Do it now, and tomorrow I'll be a vampire!"

The song took dramatic pause, the crept back into my consciousness with melancholy. "It's not exactly that simple, Bella," I said, warring with myself over how much to actually divulge. "The process takes time. You have to… die, first."

"Die? I have to _die_?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. As the venom takes hold and mends your cells, converting from bloodstream to venomflow, your heart will stop beating. And there will be pain." I swallowed hard reflexively. Just the idea of Bella in agony caused my stomach to clench in anguish that drowned out the tune altogether; the torment increased as I realized it would be suffering _I_ caused. I gulped reflexively, swallowing my misery, letting the melody restore itself to its gloomy tones.

Would it be better to let her discover this as it happened? How much would knowing beforehand help, or would it cause anxiety and fear? Perhaps it would dissuade her… My promise was the song and still held; it was simply a matter of course, now, letting the lyric unfold. Why should I torment her?

She sensed my hesitation, drawing the conclusion that it was my torture I remembered, not the fear for her. "Do you remember what it was like?"

"Not clearly – remember, I was already dying. My senses had been dull; I barely remember the illness itself. I stood at death's door, Bella; I was ready to die, and had given up the sensations of this world.

"I do remember Carlisle's cool hands and lips as he bent over me, then the blistering, searing pain that spread throughout my body." I closed my eyes, flinching involuntarily with the memory as the tune flowed to a stop in my head. Warmth spread against my cheek, and I opened my eyes to find Bella cupping my face, sorrow and compassion lighting her features. I didn't want her distress, and tried to speak and soothe her worry. "Bella, it was –"

The words never sounded. Bella's lips formed desperately around mine, her instinct to quell my suffering guiding her, kissing away the painful remembrance. Her fingers slid across my cheeks, through my hair, knotting and pulling. My throat flamed, the sudden explosion of her scent and touch overwhelming my conscious thought. My body responded, pulling her tightly to me, my tongue swathing her mouth and pushing her lips open. I flipped her over beneath me, never allowing the embrace to lessen.

Her mouth was hot and sweet. She swirled her tongue around mine, a frenzied dance of desire. I plunged my tongue into her mouth further, gently sucking the taste and moisture into mine. She was ambrosia, heavenly and divine.

I pulled away to see her face, to connect with her emotionally and validate the thrall by which she pulled me. She lay beneath me, panting and surprised. Her eyes searched mine, seeking. A momentary concern flickered across my mind, but became lost in the growing need pounding in my veins. "I need you," I whispered as I bent to kiss her again. She exhaled into my mouth, her breath spiriting with hunger.

Our bodies tumbled together, crushing the wildflower bed beneath us and releasing the herbaceous perfume. My senses were assailed with aroma: the flowers and grass, the woods, and most of all, Bella herself. She rose from my chest, her kiss lingering for a moment before snapping away. She tugged her shirt away, revealing her paleness in the mottled afternoon light. I was awestruck and unable to move or breathe; she unhooked and discarded her bra, revealing the beauty of her rosy nipples, dappled in the yellow light, erect and aroused.

"So beautiful, so warm," I murmured as my palms covered her naked breasts. Two hot pinpoints electrified my hands, sparking my arousal further. She twisted away from me and the disappointment nearly devastated me, until I saw her reach for her waistband and zipper.

_Not here_, my mind cried out in panic. Though the song had quieted, birdsong filled my senses as I let my thoughts stretch, surveilling the nearby woods. I calmed myself in that instant; we were entirely alone. I stood and tore my clothes away, repositioning myself below her before she pulled down her zipper. I was naked, my skin shimmering faintly in the dappled glow of the afternoon, the evidence of my passion obvious in my crotch. She gasped, then smiled, and shimmied out of her jeans.

I had always believed that Bella could not be made more lovely to me, but Bella by burnished daylight was beauty beyond compare. I could not look away or blink. She stood above me, her nakedness stark against the wild setting. She took a step, straddling my body, ready to squat over my anxious, hungry manhood, when a quizzical look passed over her features. She pulled her leg back, and I sighed in disappointment and dissatisfaction.

She walked to my head, and looked down at me, smiling softly in the open air. I could do nothing but watch her as she placed her feet next to my ears, toes touching my shoulders. The view was magnificent; I stared at the gently auburn curl of her pubic hair and the soft pink folds glistening with moisture. Emotion broke across my chest, my heart swelling with love for my clever, giving lover, when suddenly, the center of my world descended as I watched, her pussy masking my face as she knelt above me. She crushed herself into me, engulfing my face with her hot and delicate core. I inhaled deeply, then thrust my tongue up inside her womanhood, evoking a gasp and shudder of pleasure from my love. She fell forward, her mouth capping my straining erection.

I tongued her swollen nub as she swallowed me. The pleasure was torture; my concentration to stay immobile lest I damage her struggled against my lust and need to push deeper into her with my voracious cock. It was heaven; it was hell. I sent my tongue deeply into her box as a substitute for the pelvic thrust, and she moaned around my cock in response. This did not help the case; I felt my thoughts loosen and become unhinged as I fucked my sweet Bella with my tongue.

The noises she made above and around me were indications of her impending orgasm; she was profusely wet, ready for a fucking, and her box became incredibly tight around my tongue. The signals of her release corresponded to my own, and as she trembled and convulsed in orgasmic delight above me, my cock released a torrent of cum into her waiting mouth. Finally, she shuddered and fell to the side, freeing me from her heavenly restraints. I opened my eyes to see the world had changed as I laid beneath her: gold had shifted to scarlet, and the world was painted in blood.

Panic flooded me and I held my body completely still. Bella lay breathing deeply beside me, her eyes on mine, her body swathed in crimson. She read some emotion in my face, and her eyes lifted to my crotch. Craving for her skin burned down my arms, my legs, in every fiber of my being; if I touched her now, any restraint I had would be shredded beyond repair. "Edward," she gulped, "Your cock…"

My cock twitched as she stared, anxious for more than just a look. I willed myself still once more; my mind consumed with the need to control, to restrain, to force my body into stillness. Her gaze remained on my member, and she rose slowly, reaching. "You're still hard… I thought you came…" Her voice trailed away in astonishment.

The crimson veil ripened, blossoming around me, around her; if she touched me… Images of violence and lust danced in my head. "Bella, don't… please…"

The plea broke her concentration, returning her gaze to my face. The red veil colored the chocolate of her eyes, and I saw in her the newborn she would become: strong, robust, unbreakable. Panting broke from my lips, hoarse and guttural, and I felt unable to catch my breath, choking. I knew her skin was tender, her flesh weak, but my need perverted my perception, driving me to near insanity, pushing me to take her, fuck her, ram my body into her.

"Edward?" she whispered, now sitting in alarm. My thoughts flew into chaos as my mind flashed through the surrounding woods. Alice's thoughts drifted into my head, her anxiousness for our return…_ Carlisle read a medical journal debating the cause of seizures in certain types of…The man hiking through the woods thought his fiancée was wrong about the disbanded campground…_ _'Don't go there. I can smell them from here. They're having sex.' *disgust* 'Her scent is strong, but his is as heated as wildfire'… _My body was rigid and my eyes unblinking, all senses filled with Bella, her smell, her sex, her eyes holding mine. I was everywhere, I was only here, I danced on the head of a pin, I flew through the air.

"Edward? You're scaring me," she said, apprehension growing in her expression. She knelt before me, leaning to touch me. Oh, I was doomed, doomed.

Her warm touch ripped me apart. In lightning speed I stood, grabbed her and pressed her against the tree. "Don't move," I growled in a voice that was hardly my own. Casual conversations of my family and strangers buzzed in my head, a cacophony that threatened insanity. I flipped her to face the tree, lifting her, poising her over my rapacious cock. She was feather light and helpless; my need was all-consuming. I thrust her onto my waiting member, lifting and pumping her with abandon, my eyes closed in satiety. I concentrated on the feeling of warmth and slickness around my joint as the voices droned on in my head. I felt the orgasm growing, pulling up from my toes through my knees; the voices reducing to a hum until only a buzz rang in my thoughts. With a sharp snap, the muttering ceased, replaced with a cry, a keening from nearby, and my orgasm shot through me.

I opened my eyes to the golden afternoon shining on the mahogany of Bella's hair. Soft sobs wracked her body, her shoulders rising and falling as I held her aloft in my hands.

"Bella?" I cradled her in my arms, and slid to sit cross-legged on the ground. She hung limply in my arms. "Bella? _Bella?_ What's wrong? Have I hurt you? What have I _done?_"

For a moment, she only cried softly, unresponsive to my question. I continued to hold her, fear and dread freezing me in place. _This is not good. What have I done? _The question rang in my ears, filling my senses with the acrid sting of remorse. I had been possessed, insane, wild with lust and passion, and in the process lost the restraint and concern for my fragile lover. Had I raped her? _No!_ My mind could not accept this horror, yet no other explanation for her tears was available.

I rocked her softly, searching for the lullaby that sang her soul, but unable to make a sound. I was awash in a sea of regret, the very waves of which were fed by Bella's tears. Her sobs caught in her throat; her weeping began to subside slowly, and she lifted her eyes to me.

"Wh- wh- where did you _go_," she stuttered, shivering a bit in the cold. I reached behind me and pulled my shirt over her, wrapping the edges between my chest and her skin. "You w- w- were there and then, then you w- were gone!"

The sun had set. As twilight engulfed us, I noticed the blue tinge creeping into her lips. "Bella, love, are you hurt?"

"N- n- no," she stuttered, her teeth chattering in her chill. "I w- was s- s- _scared_. It d- didn't s- seem like you."

"You're freezing, Bella. Please, love, let's get dressed. I'll take you back to the truck. We can turn on the heater and talk as long as you like."

She started to protest, but her teeth chattered so violently, her voice was lost. At last, she nodded her head, and I stood with her still in my arms. I lowered her quivering body to the ground, and she bent to pull on her pants. Blue shadows lined her ribs on each side, bruises forming beneath her skin, bruises I had inflicted. My stone heart sank, and the odd, prickling sensation of dry tears pulled at the corners of my eyes. I had bruised her, lost in my crimson haze. She pulled her sweater over her head as I quickly dressed. I wished she could not see me; I wanted to hide from her, monster that I was.

Two steps brought her to my side, and I lifted her to my back. I was surprised by how her body still trembled with cold, when I realized temperature may not be cause. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she whispered, her breath hot at my ear. Like a shot, I plunged into the forest, carrying her as fast as my legs would go. We reached the truck as the final rays of light bounced off the trees, crickets overtaking the twilight birdsong.

"Would you like to drive, or…" Her body still trembled. I took the keys and opened the passenger door. "Try to relax, Bella." I closed her door and entered the truck, turning the heat to its highest setting before she fastened her seat belt. "There. You should be warm soon."

Her face held that inquisitive look that often accompanied her anger. "Edward, tell me what happened." Her eyes were intense, her expression severe. "I need to know."

"I'm not sure what to tell you," I said honestly.

"You have to tell me, Edward," she responded fiercely. "You're always trying to protect me, but –"

"No, Bella, it's not that. I don't understand it myself." Her brows pulled together in worry, and I felt the echoing expression on my face. "When you were pleasuring me, I –"

"I thought you came!"

"I did. One of the strange things about the venom in my tissue is that I have no need to rest. I could climb the Alps, then immediately lift a piano over my head, if I were so inclined. Beyond strength, it also give us unlimited endurance."

"So without needed to rest…" I watched as her quick mind drew the pieces together. "You could go on, like, forever?"

"I'd want to stop to hunt, of course. But in a matter of speaking, yes."

"Weren't you, um, satisfied by the blow job? It wasn't good?" Her eyebrows peaked in disappointment.

I reached across the warm cab and stroked her cheek. "Bella, you were awe-inspiring. You are the best cocksucker I know." My grin pulled up the right side of my face, as her rosy blush warmed my fingertips. "Thank you."

"But you still, um, wanted more?"

"I always want more with you, Bella. I don't know that I'll ever have enough, no matter how long we are together."

"But today was different, right?"

"Yes, today was different."

"Why did you tell me not to touch you?"

"I was afraid… Afraid, I would hurt you, afraid I would take you by force, which is just what I did." I dropped my hand away from her face, hanging my head and squeezing my eyes shut. The overwhelming need to hide pounded in my head again, yet I stayed perfectly still.

"Edward," she said gently. I couldn't open my eyes. "Edward," she said again, this time more forcefully. I opened my eyes and looked to her face through my lashes. "The way you fucked me was…" she paused, and the anticipation of her accusation was gut-wrenching and terrifying. I held my breath, fear taking my ability to breathe. "So fucking hot."

"But Bella, you were crying," I said, confused by her answer. Wasn't she bereft afterwards, when I came back to my senses? Hadn't I had to hold her in my arms and rock her calm?

"I was crying because it happened again, where you were –", she stopped mid-sentence, considering. "Your body was there, going through the motions, and fucking me like a madman. But after a few minutes, I felt we weren't alone and tried to get you to stop, just to check. I said your name over and over and when you didn't respond, I got really scared and started to cry. It was pretty confusing; I was all turned on and ready for you, then the crying came and I was still turned on – I couldn't understand what was happening."

"Wait, Bella, back up. You thought we weren't alone?" The sentence stood separate from her retelling of her emotion. I had felt we weren't alone; the indecipherable snatches of thought I'd heard began to replay in my head. "What do you mean?"

"It's hard to describe, it's just a feeling, I guess," she said, straightening in her seat. "I had called your name but I couldn't turn to see you. Then I felt like _Alice_ was nearby, and some of your family."

"Was that all? Can you remember, Bella?"

She looked down at her hands, her brows furrowed in concentration. She began with a groan. "Uh, nobody I could, uh, identify? I'm sorry, Edward, I don't know what I'm talking about. All I know is that you wouldn't answer me, and I was scared." She glanced up at me on the last word, and the fear was plain against her pale features.

I scooted across the seat and wrapped my arms around her. "It's all right, love. I'm here now."

"Edward, what happened to you? Did you feel like there were people there, too? Or did you just fuck me silly?" She burrowed against me, like a scared little rabbit. "I think I'm losing my mind."

"No, Bella, you're not. I heard it, too." She pulled back to watch my face, and I looked away from her to concentrate. "I heard snatches of thought from different people, and a bit of a conversation. It was all thought talk, though, and I couldn't focus on it. "I definitely heard Alice, and Carlisle. The others**,** well, I couldn't concentrate." I brought my gaze back to her. "I was a bit preoccupied."

"What does it all mean, Edward?"

"I don't know, love. Something is changing, but I'm unsure why and how. And I have no idea how it's affecting _you_." I pushed back behind the steering wheel and started the ignition. "Can you call Charlie and tell him you're having dinner with my family tonight? We need to talk to Carlisle."

As we headed down the 101 towards Forks, Bella opened my cell and dialed home. I didn't listen; my head was filled with questions, and empty of answers.

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><p><strong>AN: For those of you who don't know, I was recently nominated for the Best Bloody Mary (vamp story) Tomato Soup Award for Blue Edward, the prequel to this story. I have no idea who nominated the story, but please accept my most heartfelt thank you. If you'd like to vote, you can do so at _thetomatosoupaward dot blogspot dot com_.**

**I was also nominated for the Emerging Swan Awards, for Best Oldie but a Goodie (which seems fitting considering my recent birthday). Again, no idea who nominated me (thank you, mysterious nominator[s]) and if you'd like to vote, you can do so at _emergingswanawards dot blogspot dot com_. **

**Even if you don't vote for me, there are tons of great reads nominated - it's a wonderful way to find new fan fictions.**


	4. Chapter 4: Well

**_Thank you to all who have posted reviews and comments - you're my life blood and I so appreciate your efforts. My beta remains in the completely awesome category - thank you, Mr. Bigg, for your incredible patience and editing. _**

_A/N: All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended._

**Well**

Bella's little hand was light and warm in mine as we climbed the stairs leading to Carlisle's study. The house was abuzz with my family's thoughts, all recognizing our arrival long before we parked the car. Esme worked the blueprint stretched out on her desk, her thoughts warm and sweet as caramel; Carlisle was in his study, contemplating some of the histories displayed in the artwork surrounding him. Rosalie and Emmett thoughts were on polar opposites of the scale, with Emmett's excitement to greet us, and Rosalie's complete lack thereof.

Jasper's thoughts were the biggest surprise. His mind was blank, all his focus on serenity and calm. It was curious, until Alice's thoughts intruded over his. _I know they're here_, she thought calmly as she continued servicing the placid Jasper. I turned my mind away, finally understanding Jasper's focused effort to keep Alice busy, focusing her ebulliency on him instead of on Bella.

"Is everyone home?" Bella was clearly nervous. She didn't like the spotlight, and coming here so soon after Canada definitely brought her center stage.

"Yes. I'm surprised they haven't all filed down to greet us, but they're aware we're here." Her palm was moist. "Don't worry. They're in their rooms."

Her heartbeat was steady while we walked through the house if not a bit rapid, but as we approached the door to Carlisle's office, its rhythm faltered and broke into dits and dashes.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"It's just," she whispered leaning forward. "You know, he's your dad and everything. I know he's a doctor, but, it's just weird. I have to admit to your dad we're having, uh, _sex_?"

If her demeanor hadn't spoken her embarrassment, her emphasis on the last word did. I turned to her, cupping her face in my hands and looking into her eyes. "It's all right, love. He already knows, and as you said, he is a doctor. And we are marri–"

"He _knows_?"

The door upstairs flew open. "Christ, everybody knows, Bella," Emmett boomed as he bounced down the stairs. "I don't think we could put up with Edward if he weren't getting laid." He jumped down the last four steps, landing next to me and punching me in the arm. "And besides," he said, turning to Bella, "You're my sister now, and we pretty much expect that kind of stuff."

She opened her mouth to protest, but Emmett scooped her up in his arms and swung her around. "Congratulations, little sister!" His voice and mind sang in harmony with true affection. He set her back on her feet, steadying her before letting go. "You moving in soon or what?"

Bella stared at him with her mouth hanging open. "Emmett, it was a secret wedding," I reminded him. "Charlie doesn't know."

He whipped his cell phone from his pocket. "Well, let's bring him in on it! What's his number?" Though Emmett was clearly teasing, Bella paled at his words.

"Emmett," I cautioned him. His eyes flickered to my face, then turned to Bella who stood dumbstruck.

"_Kidding_… Geez!" He said with mock annoyance. He stooped down and looked into Bella's eyes. "Seriously, congratulations, Bella. Welcome to the family."

"Thank you," she said softly, the corners of her mouth lifting in a light smile.

_Edward, if you think Bella's ready for this, bring her in._ He didn't know why we were there, but our arrival was no secret. Carlisle was situated behind his desk, opening an old medical tome, trying to appear human and disinterested, posturing for Bella's comfort as I pulled her toward the door.

"Excuse us, Emmett," I said, reaching for the knob. "We need to speak to Carlisle."

"Sure, bro," he said, smirking at Bella. "A little advice from doctor love?" Bella's blush gave him all the ammunition he needed. "Whoo, Rosie, guess who's getting sexpert advice!" He ran back to his room, practically flying up the stairs, and disappearing behind the door.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate my brother?" I said sarcastically, as I pushed the door open and ushered Bella inside. She took in a deep and shuddering breath, before fixing her mouth in a tight line and walking up to Carlisle's desk. "Carlisle?"

As if on cue, Carlisle lifted his head and smiled. "Son," he said as he stood. He walked around the desk and pulled me into a brief hug, slapping me on the back. "Congratulations." He pulled away and turned to face Bella, his arms outstretched. "Daughter?" He asked, cocking his head to one side deferentially. Without hesitation, Bella dropped my hand and slid beneath his arms, returning his embrace. "You know, I've thought of you as my daughter for some time now." He pulled back, still holding her, but looking into her eyes. "I know this wedding was less than completely official, but I can't begin to describe how overjoyed we are."

"Thank you," she said softly, the blush beginning to paint her cheeks. He motioned us to sit, and Bella moved into the chair facing his desk.

_Am I making her uncomfortable? _

I gave a quick shake of my head. "We've come to see you as a doctor, again," I said, redirecting the conversation as I stood behind Bella. "It happened again when we were in the meadow."

"The red? You saw red?"

Bella's head snapped in my direction. "What do you mean you 'saw red', Edward?

"Yes, I –"

"What about the voices? What about -," she broke off as Carlisle's question joined the volley.

"Voices? You heard something this time?" Carlisle's eyebrows raised in question, as he spoke over Bella.

."Is this what happened in the car on the way home?" She raised her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide as saucers.

Their questions came out in a tumble, and I held up my hands to stop them, trying to find a place to start. They both fell silent, waiting for my explanations.

"I didn't know how to explain it before, as it had happened only once," I said to Carlisle. "And when we were driving home," I continued, turning to Bella, "I didn't want to frighten you, because I didn't know if it was just a one-time occurrence, or something more serious." I took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Perhaps it would be better if I described what happened, and the circumstances."

Carlisle walked behind his desk and sat, closing the huge book before him. He looked the picture of a professional, his physician persona shining out. I moved to the corner of his desk, situating myself to see them both. "In both cases, I was sexually aroused, and in both cases," Bella's cheeks flamed with embarrassment and she shielded her eyes from Carlisle. "In both cases, the pleasure was intense. I felt my restraint was weak, and wanted to…" Bella's humiliation rose and she slumped down into her seat. I hadn't been embarrassed in the slightest when I began talking, but somehow, my wife's discomfiture seemed to heighten the sensitivity of discussing the topic with my father.

Carlisle seemed to pick up on the reason for my hesitancy. "Edward, perhaps if we were to discuss this in private?"

"No." Bella's blush still burned brightly as she dropped her hand. She looked straight into Carlisle's eyes. "No, I'm his wife and I should be here. It affects me, too." She turned her gaze to me. "Go on, Edward."

"Both times, I felt my restraint was crumbling, giving into the need growing inside me. I felt… violent, enraged." Bella gulped. "On the way home, I was straining not to push myself into Bella," I said, turning my eyes to Carlisle. "I knew I'd hurt her, or break her neck. I stilled myself into immobility. Today, I wasn't as successful."

"You saw red."

"Yes. Just as when we were in the car, Bella's touch was overpowering today. I held myself still as long as I could, but it was as if a bond snapped, the binding that held me back from hurting her." I looked down to Bella, reaching across to stroke her worried brow. "Love, I tried to tell you, but in truth, I didn't want you to stop." Once again, the lovely brush of blood beneath her skin warmed my fingertips, and my body responded instinctually. As I swallowed the pooling venom, Carlisle cleared his throat.

_Excuse me, Edward._ "Why do you say you weren't successful today?" His brow was creased as mental images of Bella's possible injuries flew by.

"She wasn't injured, Carlisle, It's just that she so easily could have been," I said, my voice not much more than I whisper. "And –"

"And there were voices," Bella interjected.

"You heard voices?"

"Well, not so much _heard_, but felt," she said, her face a mask of concentration. "I thought I heard Alice, and you, but not _heard. _Like I said, I kind of just _felt_ it. I don't know how to explain it right." She paused in thought for a moment, biting her thumbnail. "It was sort of like being in a dark room, when you can feel someone looking at you. I couldn't really hear them, but I felt like they – you and Alice – were there. There were others, too, but I didn't really recognize their voices or know what they said."

I was concentrating on what Bella had said so intensely, I didn't notice when she stopped talking. I had heard Carlisle and Alice also, as well as a hiker and some other, more alien mind that seemed oddly telepathic. It was as if it were speaking to someone, unaware that I had heard.

"Edward? _Edward?_" Carlisle touched my shoulder, and I raised my eyes to his worried expression.

"Forgive me. I was lost in thought."

"Did you experience these voices? Did you hear my voice? Did you hear Alice?"

"I heard your voices, but not your speech. What I heard sounded more like your mental voice, if you will. Alice was anticipating our return; you were reading a medical journal about seizures."

Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise. "I was reading that journal this afternoon." _How would you have heard me when you were so far away? _

"I don't know. This is all new to me as well," I said in response to his unspoken question. "I'm baffled by the fact that Bella heard you." She opened her mouth to speak. "Sorry love, _felt_ you. How is that possible?"

"Clearly, we're entering into an area we haven't experienced before," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We still don't understand all the characteristics of the venom; maybe this is something new. I'll need to get samples of your venom, Edward, for testing. How do you feel now?"

"I feel," I ran a quick inventory. "I feel fine. Anxious, I suppose, given the unknowns we're dealing with, but other than the tension that creates, I'm fit and healthy."

"I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this," Carlisle said, his doctor persona in full effect. He smiled at Bella. "Try not to worry about it too much." _And that goes for you, too, Edward. I know how you are, but try not to obsess about this. We'll figure it out._

I gave Bella my hand as she rose from the chair. "We'll do our best. Thank you, Carlisle." He walked with us as we slowly moved to the door.

"I'm glad I could help," he responded quietly.

_Open the door, open the door! Let me talk to Bella!_ Alice's demands were as clear as if she'd screamed them aloud. I leaned into Bella's hair and whispered softly, "Beware of Alice." She turned to me with a question on her lips and in her eyes when the door opened to a maniacally bouncing pixie who sprung at her before she could catch her breath.

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" Alice bounded across the threshold, throwing her arms around Bella's neck. Bella's hand reflexively dropped mine, as she threw her arms around Alice to stabilize them both. Alice was not to be stilled; she continued to bob up and down, now taking Bella with her. "Finally! Tell me all about it! Did you love the roses? I saw the vows, wasn't the room beautiful?"

Bella looked somewhat overwhelmed, but happy. "Stop! Bouncing! Me! And I'll! Tell! You!" Alice stopped abruptly, her smile wide and infectious. Bella was breathless and flush as she smiled back at Alice. The little scene was every dream of family life I'd ever fostered come to life, and I found myself smiling, proudly, happy for their reunion.

Alice pulled Bella towards her room, and I turned to follow. Alice's hand shot out to my chest. "Edward, _girl_ talk. Go talk to Jasper or Carlisle or something. Play the piano," she said, waiving me away dismissively. Bella glanced back at me over her shoulder as Alice squealed and pulled her away. I shrugged. I was useless against Alice's enthusiasm.

Slowly, I moved to the piano, watching Bella in Alice's thoughts. I'd grown used to seeing her through the eyes of others, and watching her now, I felt a rush of love for them both. Of course, Alice knew all this from my perspective and her vision, but she hung rapt on Bella's every tender and sweet word as she described details of our private little ceremony. I sat down on the bench, watching and listening to their conversation as my fingers brushed the keys.

I closed my eyes. I knew it was wrong to listen to their conversation, whether it came to me naturally or not. I let the melody in the back of my mind flow through my fingers to the keyboard, concentrating on the tune and releasing the dialog to the back of my mind. The ivory keys were soft and willing beneath my fingers, my accomplices in distraction. The little song unfurled against the twilight, a soft bed of longing in a sea of gray. I felt the minor chord work its way in, weaving and unraveling with the melody.

High above the melody, another thought entered, a soprano to the tenor of my song. _Esme._ Esme was singing in her head at her desk, her thoughts harmonious with the musical breeze of the piano. She rested her chin in her hand, closing her eyes and dreaming along with the music. It was mesmerizing and hypnotic, a dance of notes between her thoughts and my fingers. She imagined Carlisle, his beauty, strength and gentleness on their wedding night, remembering pictures of tone and song wrapped around their intertwined bodies. The reverie was captivating and seductive, and I was transported, sharing the dream with Esme, serenading the fantasy with the music flowing through me. As she dreamt, I found my fingers moving faster across the ivories as the thoughts progressed. The music grew, a crescendo working its way to the surface. Esme's eyes opened suddenly, realizing where she was and the origin of the music. She looked around her study, blinking, and I was returned to the keyboard before me.

The music nestled to an soft end, and I relaxed, my hands still on the keyboard. I opened my eyes slowly, at peace with the music. There were no thoughts in my head, nothing playing in the background. I raised my head to see Bella, Alice, and Carlisle standing awestruck on the stairs. I was immediately seized with embarrassment and weariness.

Bella moved down the stairs, followed by Alice and Carlisle. "Edward?" She walked to the bench and took my face in her hands. The heat emanating from her was soothing and welcome. I let my head bow forward in her embrace, my eyes drifting closed.

"_Carlisle?_" The alarm in Bella's voice made me jerk my head up, searching for the cause of her concern. Carlisle was immediately by her side. I couldn't understand what was going on; there was no one in the room who was a threat, though Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had joined the others, and Esme's door flew open as she rushed the stairs. "Look at his _hands._"

I followed Bella's glance down to where my hands rested on the keyboard. My hands were gray and gnarled, the joints swollen and yellowed. I lifted them to my face, testing my ownership of the crooked, leathery fingers. As I watched, the skin smoothed and shrank, conforming back to the shape I'd known for a century. My mouth hung open in disbelief. My head turned slowly to Bella, only to see the same amazement on her face.

"Are you all right, son? How do you feel?" Carlisle leaned across Bella to place his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm…," I started, unable to work past the astonishment to find the words. I still held my hands before me, slowly turning them front to back and back again, searching to tell Carlisle what he asked. "I'm, I, uh… I feel – well. I'm _well_."

Carlisle's brow was creased with worry. "I think we've wasted enough time. We'd better get that sample right away, Edward."

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><p><em><strong>Please leave a review.<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5: Encounter

_A/N: All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended._

**Sorry this has taken so long to post; computer problems have kept me from writing. I tell you, whoever came up with Trojan Horse viruses should be drawn and quartered. Thank you again to my most patience and long-suffering beta, Mr. Bigg.**

**Recap of Chapter 4: Well  
><strong>Bella and Edward went to see Carlisle about Edward's condition. Emmett, teases Bella with telling Charlie that they're married, but relents as they go into Carlisle's office. Carlisle greets them as son and daughter for the first time. Edward tells Carlisle (and inadvertently Bella) that he sees red, he feels violently sexual, and he hears voices he can't always identify – and that Bella "feels" them, too. Carlisle agrees to test Edward's venom. As Alice and Bella chat, Edward plays at the piano. He is swept away with Esme's thoughts, and the family comes to check on him, when his hands suddenly age then restore to youth before their eyes.

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><p><strong>Encounter<strong>

Bella gasped and blanched, and suddenly, all my strange symptoms paled into the background. "Are you all right, Bella?" I pushed the piano bench back in just enough time to reach out to her as her knees gave out. My arms laced around her just as she fell. "Carlisle!"

_She__'__s __fainted._ Carlisle dashed from the room, returning with his medical bag, breaking the smelling salts beneath her nose before I could say another word. The crack of the vial released the pungent odor into the room, and he waved it slowly beneath her nose. I held my breath against the mephitic smell, watching Bella's whole face twist into a pucker, her hands rising of their own accord to brush the stench away. "Wha-, what happened?" She rested inches above the ground in my tense embrace, and as she roused, I let my breath wash over her face.

"You fainted, Bella. How are you feeling now?" Carlisle's fingers held Bella's wrist as he took her pulse.

"A little woozy, I think," she mumbled, still not completely recovered. "I was –," she pointed to the piano, and her eyes flew wide in remembrance. "Your hands! Edward! Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Bella, please, don't panic. I'm all right."

"We don't know, not yet at least," Carlisle reassured her in his doctor's voice. "We're going to run some tests."

"Edward," she said, shaking her head and picking up my hand. She washed her thumb across my knuckles, rinsing her scent across my skin. "You're not alright. I saw it." She turned her eyes to Carlisle. "What kind of tests do you run on a vampire?" She breathed. "I mean, blood samples are out."

"Venom samples," I said softly to her. "That's about all we can do."

"I've studied some samples before, Bella. We'll try to determine what causes changes in Edward's cellular structure," Carlisle said. _We __need __to __start __soon, __Edward._ "You remember I spent time with the Volturi? I did some study at the time, but it was very… preliminary, shall we say. Science was not as advanced as it is now." He turned to me. "We'll need several samples, Edward, in different states." _And __by __that, __I __mean __aroused_. He glanced around at the family. _They __don__'__t __care, __but __I__'__d __like __to __save __Bella __the __embarrassment, __if __you __don__'__t __mind._

"Understood," I said to him, nodding quickly before turning to Bella. I gazed down at her. "Bella, it's getting late."

"I'll call Charlie," she protested, shaking her head and opening her cell phone.

"Love," I said, forcing a smile and pressing her hand to close the phone. "Unless we want Charlie to force a shotgun wedding, I think we'd better get you home."

She opened her mouth to object. I inhaled and squared my shoulders, trying to prepare myself for the argument to come, when she exhaled and said simply, "Okay." She turned to my family. "I'll see you tomorrow."

All eyes seemed focused on me, and their thoughts were fearful and scattered. "I'm fine, really," I reassured them. Carlisle inhaled deeply, putting his arm around Esme.

"We just worry for you, son," he said softly. I could see the worry in his eyes and hear the stress in his thoughts.

I nodded. "Let's go, Bella," I said, taking Bella's hand and leading her to the car.

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><p>"What were you and Alice talking about?" My tone was light, casual, and I fixed my expression to match.<p>

"Oh… nothing," Bella turned to look out the window. I could hear her cheeks lift in a smile. "You know, just girl talk."

I looked away from her, my eyes returning to the road. I felt anxious, not knowing what they had discussed, but truly, it was the least of my worries. I flexed my fingers against the steering wheel as I took a quick inventory of my physical state. Everything felt fine.

Bella turned to me, watching with measuring eyes. I felt sure her concern had not been dismissed, but there was little I could do to allay her fears. I moved my hand from the wheel and picked up hers. "Please try not to worry."

"I only worry because I love you," she said softly.

"I know. I love you, too. We'll work through this, I promise. Remember?" She stared at me blankly, unable to follow my train of thought. "With all that I am, all that I have, and all that I have to give, I do, from this day forward, forever. The words were true then, love, and so they are now."

Bella's answering blush was the only confirmation I needed. We rode together, content, our marital bubble restored, if only for a moment.

As we pulled into the driveway of her house, Bella turned to me once again. "Are you coming in?"

I could hear snatches and bits of Charlie's thoughts. He was on the precipice of anger, uncharitable and harsh thoughts filling his mind. "It would be better if I didn't. Charlie's heard the truck, and he's agitated."

Her playfulness evaporated like a sunny day in Forks. "Oh." She reached for her backpack, picking it off the floor. "Will you come back later?"

"Yes, love. I'll come back and watch over you as you sleep."

"Okay." She moved to the door, and I sprang out the truck's cab, to her side and opened the door before she could go in. She flinched in surprise. "You know, I don't know if I'll ever get used to that."

"Goodnight, Bella." I ran my fingers across her cheek, my fingertips warming against her flesh.

"We were talking about my trousseau," she blurted out. "Alice said it would take your mind off… things. I guess she saw it coming, huh."

"Your trousseau? Your wedding trousseau?" It was impossible to keep the joy and astonishment out of my voice.

"Yes," she replied softly.

My arms flew around Bella, pulling her to my chest in an embrace. "I love you." I kissed her hair, just as Charlie pushed off the couch to check on Bella. "I have to go, but I'll be back." I kissed her swiftly, then disappeared into the woods as Charlie swung open the door.

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><p>I ran back towards the big white house by the river filled with love for my sweet girl. Despite her better instincts, she had withheld a truth from me for my benefit, sharing a secret with my sister. Perhaps I should have been less pleased, perhaps I should have chastised her for not answering me truthfully. Perhaps. But I could not find it within myself to feel anything but love for the perfectly selfless thing she'd done, putting her worry for me above her need to tell me everything. Alice had been right; it did cheer me, and that cheer guided me on my dark race through the woods.<p>

I felt light, buoyant, happy. I leapt into the air, catching hold on the branches of the sitkas and swinging myself forward. It made me laugh aloud – Me Tarzan, You Jane – and I dropped to the ground once more, still running and laughing.

I jumped again, landing on a branch, when I heard someone walking through the woods. The thoughts were odd yet somehow, familiar. _It__'__s __been __here, __but __the __trail __just __stops. __I __don__'__t __want __to __go __any __closer __to __- _he swore, distaste coloring the thought - _to __them __if __I __can __avoid __it. __We __can __swing __around_ the thought wasn't the same tenor, but it was seamless, like one mind. _I__'__m __taking __off. __I__'__m __too __close __to __the __line. _I remained hidden in the boughs.

I stood on my branch, stock still and watching. The thoughts held disdain for my kind, disdain tempered with wariness. The mind reminded me of someone from long ago – Ephraim Black. The plurality of the mind was much like the tribe of wolves from that time, and I wondered for a moment how that could be, when a giant, russet wolf appeared before me, shimmering and phasing into human.

It was interesting to watch the body take form from the flying pieces of wolf. As an observer, the process seemed agonizing and confusing, but the thoughts of the transforming wolf were clear and unclouded with pain in the change. Jacob kneeled, then shook his hair as he stood naked below me, wearing only a black leather cord around his ankle.

I stepped forward, falling to the ground and landing with a soft thud. He was unsurprised by my sudden appearance, and unabashed by his nakedness. He turned to face me.

"I knew you were around here somewhere," he said. "I wanted to talk to you, which is why I didn't tell Sam you were here."

It all fell into place for me: the alien mind, the plurality of thought, the distances between thoughts – it all made sense. "You sound so much like your grandfather."

"Ancient history. Look," he said, his mind and thoughts aligning perfectly. "I told you before you left we'd take care of the redhead. And so we did." _And __it __cost __us __one __of __our __own._

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I know you were close to Quil,"

"I didn't get there in time." His voice was rough with loss. "His grandfather is taking it pretty hard, but that's what we do. It's not as if any of us have a choice." I could hear the remorse in his thoughts, guilt overlaying any accomplishment the pack had achieved. He replayed the scene in his head; Victoria's destruction had been quite a battle involving the whole pack. As his mind touched on the pack, one wolf stood out from the others, a sort of protectiveness surrounding those thoughts.

"Still, I wish I could have saved you that pain."

"Thanks. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you. It's about Bella."

I scanned his thoughts quickly, listening. This past weekend had changed both of our lives; he'd lost a friend, I'd lost an enemy, and surprisingly, we both had gained a mate. It was new and frightening for him – and new for the pack. They'd never had two wolves imprint on each other, and this new development was not yet known widely on the reservation. "So, then, are congratulations in order?"

"Yeah, I guess so. It's still new to both of us, and we're trying to deal with the pack's reaction. And I kind of want to protect… our _reputation_ on the rez. You know how people can get sort of snarky when things don't work they thought it would." He paused, his expression echoing the discomfort in his thoughts. "Do you think Bella will be cool about it?"

"Yes, Jacob, I do. She's always wanted what was best for you."

"I suppose that's true. So, how does that work for vampires? You two tying the knot soon, or what?"

I chuckled. "It works pretty much the same for vampires as it does for werewolves. Bella and I are planning to marry publicly after graduation next month."

"Publicly?"

"Bella and I were married this weekend."

"_Married?_ Where? How did Charlie take it? Does her mom know?"

"We haven't told anyone other than my family. We're still planning a more public wedding after graduation. This was just for us."

"Wow. Married." He wondered if his life would take the same turn, where he would share the marriage bed with his partner. Thinking of that day, his blood began to flow to his crotch, and he squatted to the ground, picking up a twig and twisting it in his fingers, trying to casually hide his erection. "So you think that's why Bella will be cool about…"

I chuckled. "I'm fairly certain, yes. That, and she truly loves you like a brother, Jacob."

As I read his thinking and ideas swirling around his newfound love in his head, I became increasingly aware of his nudity. Though I'd seen other men naked before, those men were vampires, not full grown wolf-men whose blood still coursed through their bodies. And I was not typically in full physical view of their bodies when they were aroused.

Jacob's body was dark brown with red overtones, more vibrantly so on his forearms and face. He was well-proportioned, unnaturally tall, and – I coughed – well endowed. I covered my mouth with finger and cleared my throat, turning away as I did.

"Does my being naked bother you?" He was trying for bravado, but the tone rang false.

"Not usually, no," I said, still not looking at him, but feigning examination of the sitka that had been my perch.

He stood. "I get it. You read minds, so you know what brought this," he slapped at his thigh in exasperation, "on. Just so you know, I lost my shorts on patrol, which just sucks." His verbal frustration was only a smokescreen for the embarrassment and humiliation being naked and erect in front of his enemy brought. Images of Jacob's grandmother flooded his mind, working to find some antidote for his condition. He released some of his embarrassment as his blood began to flow freer throughout his body. "Doesn't that ever bother you – knowing what people are thinking?"

"More than you'd ever know," I said, turning back to him. "And some times are worse than others. You know, you're right – I can hear your thoughts, so please don't stand on formalities. If you'd be more comfortable as a wolf…"

"Right. Only thing is, when I phase, the pack will instantly know my thoughts. I'd rather you weren't right in front of me when that happened. I'm not sure how they're going to take it, me talking to you and all."

"Understood." I turned to leave.

"Uh, Edward?" Jacob's words stopped me, and I turned to look at him again as he communicated to me mentally. _Can __you __tell __Bella? __Or __do __you __think __I__ –_

"I'll tell her, Jacob. Don't worry; I'll be kind." I knew he had no reason to trust me, but I hoped he heard the sincerity in my voice. "I really am happy for you."

"As in, I'm happy you're not trying to steal my girl away from me anymore," he said ruefully.

"No. As in, I really am happy for you, and I think Bella will be as well."

"Thanks, Cullen." He paced away from me before he broke into a run. The shift in his mind as he phased was audible, interesting, then faded away as he ran back to the pack.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you're here, Edward," Carlisle said as I climbed the stairs. "Jasper, Emmett and I have been talking about obtaining the samples."<p>

"Bro," Emmett greeted me as I walked to the table where they stood. Jasper nodded.

"We'll need samples from you in many different states: Sedate, agitated, angry, and aroused," Carlisle continued. "Fortunately, I think we've come up with a plan to facilitate your moods. Jasper."

I glanced to Jasper as the concept took shape. "We want your state to be as natural as possible," he said quietly, hands behind his back. "As they occur, I will enhance your state, pushing you to the extreme."

"And I'll be there to bug the shit out of you about it, bro," Emmett said with a wicked smile. "Gotta help you get your freak on."

"So when you say 'naturally'…"

"We mean as the emotion occurs," Carlisle clarified. "It means Jasper and Emmett are going to be nearby for a while, to help product the effect and to protect you and –" He hesitated.

"And Bella," I finished for him.

"Yes." _It __will __work, __Edward, _Carlisle reassured me. _It __may __be __somewhat __uncomfortable._

"Somewhat," I said, the sarcasm emphasizing the understatement.

"Yes, well, we'll work with what we have, son. Are you going back to Bella's tonight?"

"I am." I felt queasy, imagining my brothers listening to our conversation, eavesdropping on our intercourse, but Carlisle's mind was clear about the need for hasty collection, and had spent the evening discussing it with Emmett and Jasper. Their thoughts were in harmony, and only my thoughts struck an uncomfortable chord. I weighed the harm against the benefits, and saw the need myself. "All right. But let _me_ tell Bella."

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><p><em>AN: Thanks again for waiting for the chapter. On to 6! Show the love, please!_


	6. Chapter 6: Pillow Talk

_A/N: All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended._

**Thank you to my loving, loyal readers and fans - you know who you are, and I know how hard you rock. I wish there were better words to thank you; the only thing that comes to mind are borrowed words. _I lurve you!_**

**_I must thank my patient and in his own planetary-system-of-awesomeness, Mr. Bigg. You know why. _;p**

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><p>Recap of Chapter 5: Bella faints after seeing Edward's hands age. Carlisle decides to run tests. Edward takes Bella home, leaving her to go back home to talk to Carlisle, but promises to return. Bella tells Edward she and Alice were discussing her trousseau. Edward runs into Jacob on the way home and explains that he and Bella have been married secretly. Edward discovers Jacob has imprinted on another pack member who's also imprinted on him. Jacob asks Edward to tell Bella. Edward returns home to find Carlisle and his brothers have come up with a plan for testing, to which Edward agrees, but asks that he gets to tell Bella.<p>

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><p><strong>Pillow Talk<strong>

Bella sat on her small bed with her knees up to her chest, her head resting on them. I watched her for a moment from the open window; she was still as was humanly possible. The sight made me anxious, pulling at my stomach with worry for my beloved.

"Bella?"

She looked up and sighed. "Edward," she breathed, and I was at her side.

"Are you all right, sweetheart? You seem so sad."

"Not sad. Worried," she said, turning into my embrace. "There's just so much going on with you, and I can't _do_ anything." Her arms wrapped around me, pulling at me. She nuzzled her head against my chest. "I'm afraid to let go of you. What if something happened to you? What if something happened and I didn't do anything? What if -," the sentence broke off in a tiny sob. She burrowed deeper into my chest, and I could see the muscles in her arm flex, struggling to draw me closer still.

"What, exactly, do you want to do, Bella?" I spoke quietly and gently, making my voice as soft as a lullaby in an effort to soothe her.

"I want to help you. I want to lift whatever it is that's afflicting you away. I don't want you to suffer," she whispered, her voice more breath than volume.

"But you do, Bella, every day," I kissed her hair.

"No, I don't mean that," she said, pulling up to bring herself to eye level. "It only happens when we make love." Though the room was dark, her cheeks burned crimson in the night. "How do you think that makes me feel? I'm the problem, Edward. I'm what's making you sick." I stared at her in incredulity as she broke our gaze. "You do everything for me, you make me feel so good and I, I make you sick." She rubbed the back of her hand across her cheek in a motion I knew so well. It was impossible to think she actually believed this, yet the evidence of her sorrow bled down her cheek. Slowly, I reached for her chin, and gently tilted her face to mine.

"Bella," I said slowly. "You make me happy beyond all measure. You are not the cause of this, I assure you." I peered deeply into her eyes. "You are my light, my joy, that which makes me whole. You could never make me sick."

"But I do, Edward. What else could it be?" Her misery contorted her features, and another tear slipped down her face as she began to shiver. I put my finger in its path, scooping it away.

"Love, please, I hate to see you so upset. Especially over this," My whispered words melted into a kiss. She kissed me back, hungry for contact and reassurance. I pushed my need aside, and tried to focus every ounce of comfort I could into the kiss. Her answering kiss was a plea for more, and I knew it was time to bring her in on the testing. As gently as I could, I pulled back, breaking our embrace. She fell forward, unwilling to let the kiss end.

"Bella," I murmured, following with a soft, chaste kiss to close our intimacy. "You can help me." She shook her head from side to side, a sad swaying, the tears welling in her chocolate eyes. "Bella, you _can_ help me. Listen."

"Carlisle needs samples from me in different states. He needs to see my venom when it is inert, and when it's agitated." She watched my face as I pulled the comforter around her shivering form. I tucked it around her, then pulled her into my arms once more. "He needs a sample from when I'm aroused sexually, since that's when it seems… When I seem to have the most trouble."

"So, what does that mean, Edward?"

"It means, my dear wife," I said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "We need to have sex." She bit her lip and looked up through her lashes. There was more to tell her, more that might seem less acceptable, and I took in a long deep breath. Bella leaned up, pushing on my forearms, ready to begin the testing.

"Wait, Bella. There's more." She hesitated above me, disappointment coloring her expression. "The test will be most effective if," I swallowed hard, nervous about how to phrase this delicate proposition correctly. "Carlisle has suggested that I be at my peak of calm, peak of arousal, so that the samples we collect will be optimized."

"Do you need me to do a striptease, Edward? Because I'll do it," Bella rasped as she pulled at the hem of her t-shirt. The thought of my wife stripping for me left me hard and aching, and I momentarily debated on allowing her to continue.

"As tantalizing as that sounds," I pushed her hand down to my crotch, so she would grasp her effect on me. She rubbed against me, her breath coming in short gasps. The sensation of her warm hand against my throbbing member thrilled me beyond words, but words were what was needed now.

I hesitated, breathing in the lush scent of her hair, and the provocative aroma of her arousal. I realized I was completely and utterly unprepared for what must come next. Perhaps it was my anxiety to return to her side, or the desire to escape the direness of the situation, but, here, laying with my love in my arms, I realized I'd not thought this through. This was improper and salacious. How could I ask such a thing from her? Surely, she would object – as she should. My head was filled with scene upon scene of Bella's outrage upon discovery of the 'method'. I squeezed my eyes shut against the thoughts as the indecency of the situation overwhelmed me.

"Edward? What's going on?"

I relaxed my face, but kept my eyes closed. "Bella, forgive me, love. I -, I thought I could tell you, but I didn't think it through. It's wrong," I opened my eyes and focused on her anxious expression. "It's wrong and I simply can't ask you to do it. Let's talk about something else."

"Whoa. I just told you I want to help, and you tell me I can – but it's wrong? How can it be wrong, Edward, if I could help you?"

"Bella, I –"

"No, Edward. No more 'Bella' this or 'Bella' that. I don't want to talk about something else. Let's hear it, How can I _help_?"

"Carlisle came up with more predictable and assured method to collect my venom."

She looked at me in confusion. "Assured?" A flash of hurt crossed her brow and left, curiosity taking its place. "What 'method'?"

"Jasper," I whispered. I watched her eyes, clouded with confusion, then cleared by understanding. Her mouth dropped open, and she gaped at me for several moments.

"You want Jasper to – what? Turn you on?" Her disbelief and astonishment were plain in her expression. "That's sick."

"Bella, love, you turn me on. You, and only you," I said, stroking her hair. "Jasper would just… exaggerate the condition."

"But what happens if you get too turned on, Edward? What if you see red and can't hold back?"

"We thought of that," I reassured her.

"What, are they just relying on your restraint? Is that possible? Especially now when your responses are so, so extreme. What's going to happen to keep you from losing it?"

"Emmett."

~o0O0o~

"So, how does this all work?" Bella's brow hadn't unfurled for nearly an hour, and her heartbeat remained a frantic bird in her chest. I began to worry about the wild rhythm, afraid for her.

"Bella, listen. I want to tell you – and I will, but you need to relax, sweet girl," I whisper, folding my arms around her. I pulled her close to me, then rolled to the side, so that she was directly below me. I softly kissed her delicate, warm lips, willing her calm. "Will you try to relax?"

"It's just, I can't, I need to know…" her voice trailed away as I leaned toward her again. I kissed along the expanse of her jaw up to the hollow below her ear. "I just, oh, I want to be, mmm, I…"

"Bella," I breathed, sucking in the scent of her delicious skin. "I guess I'll need to tamper with your thoughts a bit, hm?" Her body tensed. My tongue touched her skin, and her sharp intake of breath told me I had her full attention. "Are you listening?" I planted a few more kisses along the her throat, feeling the warm pulse of her heart against my tongue.

"Mmm hmm," she moaned, relaxing into my touch. I had my doubts that she listened, but I found myself lost in the spell I weaved around her. Her eyes were half-closed, languid.

"We'll go somewhere secluded with my family." I pressed my lips to her cheek. "Carlisle will go with Esme, they will stay in the main lodge." Gently, I pushed my hardening length against her thigh, moving my kiss to her eyelids. "Jasper and Alice will be in the room on one side of us, Emmett and Rose on the other." My nose skated across her skin, inhaling, as I pumped against her leg again. "When the time is right, Jasper will enter our room, and work his magic to increase my need."

Bella looked up, her naïve, young face full of innocence. "Do you – do you mean Jasper has to get in bed _with_ us?"

"No, no. He can do his thing from across the room."

She sighed. My lips moved to her ear, and I whispered, letting my cold breath fill her aural canal. "And Emmett will come to pull me away if I need him."

She moaned. "What… about… Charlie?"

My talent to distract her must have been slipping. I covered her mouth with mine, jutting my tongue into her parted lips as I rolled my hips ever so gently against hers. Softly breaking the kiss, but leaving my mouth on hers, I mumbled. "Carlisle will talk to Charlie." I refreshed our kiss, struggling to stay coherent myself. I wanted nothing more than to make love, to lose myself in her, to take her slowly, purposefully, gently.

"Edward," she breathed. "You're driving me crazy." She brought her hands up my chest, leaving a trail of sweetness and warmth against my body. Her hands came to rest on my cheeks, and she stared into my eyes.

"We can make love now, I know we can." Her breath flowed across my face, warm and delectable, and my already stiffened cock twitched uncontrollably. "We'll just take it slow, ok?"

"I -," I faltered. My hesitation left a mark on Bella's expression. Hurt crossed her eyes, her brow puckering. "All right. Slowly." I rolled off of her, slowly unbuttoning my shirt, but keeping my eyes on hers.

Her expression immediately transformed into one of relief and joy. She tugged her t-shirt over her head, kicking off her sweats. Within seconds, she was completely naked, surrounded by a tangle of bed sheets. Her skin was pink and pale, speckled in goose flesh.

"What about taking it slowly?" I chuckled softly as she bit her lip in chagrin. "Bella, don't bite your lip, please."

"I'm sorry," she cooed, reaching up to touch the waistband of my jeans. "Let me help."

My hands shot to her wrists, holding her away from me. "Why don't you relax a bit," I said, pushing her back down to the bed. "Since only one of us seems to understand the word 'slowly', why don't you let me get this started?" I transferred her wrists to one hand, and pulled the sheet across her body, tucking it in around her and smoothing it over each rise and fall of her form. "First, let's get you warmer." I lifted her arms, and set them above the sheets, "I'm letting your hands free, but don't move unless I ask you. I want to be sure to stay in control." She answered me silently, her head nodding. She was otherwise immobile, and I smiled.

"Good girl. Next, hmm." I lay down beside her, bringing my mouth over the mound of her breast. I sucked the sheet and nipple below into my mouth, flicking my tongue against the hard bud through the cotton. Gently, I sucked the skin into my mouth, then with the most precise pressure, grazed the pebbled nub with my teeth. The modest mass shook softly, and Bella drew in a sharp and ragged breath. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Her breathing was ragged and hoarse. "No," she rasped, and I felt her accompanying smile throughout my body. "I'd like some more, please."

"Here? With Charlie in the next room?" She inhaled deeply and nodded. I nosed her ear, before I breathed, "Isabella Marie Swan, you a naughty girl." The flush of blood beneath her skin was so immediate and responsive, I inhaled sharply, releasing her hands.

"Let me get undressed." In a instant, I stood, undressed, and was back above her holding her hands in one of mine. She gasped and smiled. "Now, where were we… I believe you stated you wanted… What was that word again, please?" I teased.

"More, _please_Edward," she moaned, and the desire in her voice tightened every muscle in my body, shooting electricity directly to that long, hard part of my body poised between her legs.

"I'll give you what you want, but you must be quiet, sweet girl," I whispered. The sheet between us was our only barrier. I teased my body against hers, letting the hardness of my cock draw up her thigh and come to rest above her vagina. She was so heated, so wet; the sheet was soaked and conforming to the curves of her folds and mound. Her body twitched, aching to feel mine. I drew back, watching her, wondering if there was any way that she could feel the pull and desire as strongly, as deeply as I did. I leaned down, my mouth hovering above her hot box.

"Ungh, Edward, please," she groaned and the guttural exclamation undid my hesitation. I yearned to be inside her, longed for her heat to engulf me. I tore back the sheet, laying between her legs once more. As the head of my cock connected with her silken softness, I could not look away from her face. Bella in ecstasy was a hedonist's dream, her delicate lips pink and parted, her eyes half-closed in anticipation. Her hips strained against mine as she tried to impale herself more deeply.

"Slowly, Bella, slowly." Again, she inhaled deeply and nodded softly. I pressed my throbbing cock steadily deeper into her hot wetness until I was completely buried in her. She sighed, and I repeated the movement, keeping the tempo slow and steady.

Bella opened her eyes, looking deeply into mine as I slowly sawed my length in and out. She pulled her lip between her teeth, drawing her breath in through her nose. I knew she was trying to comply, trying to restrain herself; her hands were balled into tiny fists at her sides. Lying here, so closely, so intimately joined, I was seized with the desire and love that poured forth from her gaze. I continued to pump her slowly, though my pace increased minutely.

We continued to gaze her each other, holding each other in love. Suddenly her breath broke from her body, and a shuddered gasp escaped her lips as she tightened around me. Did she know what she did to me? "Bella, I, ugh, I'm going to," I started, but her clench around my cock eclipsed my words. She threw her head back, mouth open, eyes squeezed shut as her orgasm overtook her. Her body seemed to pumping the come out of me, and I found it impossible to resist. I whisper-shouted in her ear as my release bled into her. "Fuck! Bella!"

Our bodies shook together for an eternity, and I knew in that moment, I would never have enough of this woman, my love, my soul. I stilled my movements, allowing my length to stay inside her warm folds. Her hands moved slowly, her burning touch heating the skin of my sides, my chest, the back of my head. Her hands came to rest in my hair, and she opened her eyes.

"Edward," she breathed, her mouth holding the promise of a smile. "I know you've worried about my soul." She eyes closed briefly as she bit her lip. "I have a question for you."

"Anything, Bella," I promised.

She opened her eyes, holding my gaze. "Do you think it's a sin to fuck an angel?"

* * *

><p>AN: This November is big for Twihards such as yours truly:

Some of my Shimmer Sisters and I will meet up at the Los Angeles Breaking Dawn convention for a 3-day immersion in all things the 8th and 15th, some of these same Shimmer Sisters and I will attend Twilight Tuesdays, for even more Twilight the 14th, we will attend the red carpet event for the Breaking Dawn premiere (no, we're not seeing the movie then).And then, on the 17th, true psychoanalysis by Twilight will begin as we attend the marathon and then the midnight show of Breaking Dawn, Part 1.

All of this is to explain why Chapter 7: Cabin may be delayed. But wait – I do have a back-up plan!

If you're anxious for more Crimson Edward, there is an outtake explainingCarlisle's time and research with the Volturi. At this time, it's only available in the compilation for Fandom Gives Back for the Texas Wildfires. The compilation has the Crimson Edward outtake, Test, as well as many many stories of other great authors, all available for a small donation to any charity supporting the relief effort for Texas Wildfire victims. Please be sure to donate by November 7, 2011 to be eligible for the compilation. The details can be found at texasfires (dot) ysar (dot) info

Thank you to everyone – and happy Twilight season!


	7. Chapter 7: Stony Man

**I know you may be thinking to yourself, "Finally!" Please accept my apologies for this long overdue chapter. RL kicked and punched me, doing its darnedest to keep me from writing. I appreciate the notes of encouragement (Courtney, Mel!) along the way, and am happy to finally get this one out there. **

**As always, a major thanks to my incomparable beta, Mr. Bigg, without whom this would just be a massive vowel movement. Also, thank yous to the support and love of DonnaTWOW and Spunky. You know why. **

**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**

**Stony Man**

"When?" Charlie stared off into space in his trademark expression of disappointment. "Uh-huh. And they'll be supervised the entire time. Okay. I guess it's okay." He raised his arm, resting his head against his forearm as he spoke. "No, it's all right. I trust you, Dr. Cullen. And I trust Bella. This will be a good opportunity for her to see that part of the country, and Easter is the perfect time." He pushed himself erect and nodded, listening. "Alright. Yes, he's here now." Charlie finally glanced in my direction as I stood behind Bella seated at the table. "Goodbye."

Bella's heartbeat had been racing and uneven, but now came to a stop as she sucked in and held her breath. I gently squeezed her shoulder, a silent reminder to breathe.

"Dad," she started, exhaling in a huff.

"No, now wait a minute," Charlie cut in, one hand pulling the chair out to sit, the other palm out in a stopping motion. "Let me talk first. Edward," he glanced up at me briefly, then returned his gaze to the table. "Why don't you grab a chair from the dining room."

Charlie's mind was a swirling miasma of doubt, hesitancy, and concern. He was convicted in his purpose, but completely unsure about addressing the situation. I chuckled a little to myself, too low for either of them to hear, as I prepared myself for the oncoming conversation.

I returned to the table, pulling my chair alongside Bella's, arranging my face into a mask of innocence and guilelessness.

"Now, you know I just gave you permission to go on this, er, trip or whatever. I trust you, Bella," he said, shooting another quick glance at me. "But don't think I don't understand how all this works. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday."

"What do you mean, dad?" I turned to watch her as she spoke. Bella's heart rate and breathing were even and strong; she truly didn't see where the conversation was heading. The situation seemed almost comical, neither wanting to talk about or hear the other's thoughts on sex. I returned my gaze to Charlie.

"Well, you're going to be off in some place you've never been before, and you may get to thinking that the rules don't apply to you. But I'm here to assure you that they do." Chief Swan's heartbeat picked up a notch, and blood flooded beneath his cheeks. "I know I haven't been much of a father, but there's at least one thing I've learned the hard way that I'd rather you didn't, Bella. You probably know by now that your mom and I _had_ to get married." He paused, unable to hold his daughter's gaze, and I was seized with compassion for the man across the table from me. His thoughts were embarrassed, chagrined; he did not accept that Renee had married him solely for the sake of their daughter, but he couldn't escape the feeling that it was true. I was chagrined myself, embarrassed that I had laughed at this man's discomfiture.

"Chief Swan, we're waiting until we are married." I bit back the truth of the statement, that we were already married and had moved far beyond simple intercourse. "You have nothing to worry about."

Charlie's thoughts turned icy and biting as he leveled his stare into my eyes. "You say that now, but in the heat of the moment, things may be different."

"My parents will be there, and I assure you, they will be quite vigilant." Though I couldn't afford a glance at Bella's face, the heat from her cheeks brushed against my cold skin from where she sat next to me.

"Dad, please don't worry. We won't do anything… inappropriate for people at this stage in their relationship." She really was a terrible actress: her heart thudded erratically and her voice nearly broke in a squeak under the force of her deception. But Charlie's thoughts turned to ending the conversation and fleeing the room, his awkward feelings drowning out any hints of insincerity in Bella's voice.

"Just remember, I trust you." He pushed back the chair, poised to stand.

"Chief Swan?"

"Yes, Edward?" His brows knit together in puzzlement.

"If I may, I'd like to take a moment to talk to you privately." I squeezed Bella's hand gently, hoping to reassure her. Her head swiveled to me, curiosity blazing in her eyes. I smiled weakly.

"Sure… Edward. Uh," he stammered, looking around the room for somewhere private to talk, and settling at the sink. He turned on the water and rinsed his hands, hoping to get the sweat off his palms. He wrung his hands in the dishtowel as a distraction.

"Bella, would you give us a few moments?" I spoke calmly, keeping my face free of the nervousness I felt.

"Uh, sure," she said, biting her lip. "I'll just go start on my homework." She pushed away from the table, the v between her brows deepening with each passing second. I didn't want her to worry, but I knew I couldn't explain, not with Charlie's attention so heightened.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella," I said softly, trying to radiate reassurance and calm from my words and expression. I watched her as she left the room; her noisy climb up the stairs told me she didn't understand, and that she would be expecting an explanation.

"Well, Edward? You've got my attention. What did you want to talk about?" Charlie's front was brave, but his thoughts were scattered between fear and curiosity. His responses to my alienness were more in line with an average human – completely unlike Bella's reactions to me. I idly wondered about the origins of Bella's courage and lack of self-preservation for a split second, before returning my attention to Charlie.

"Well, sir," I started, pulling myself upright in the chair. "I guess you know I'm head over heels about Bella. And I'm happy to say, I believe she feels the same about me." I waited a moment, letting him digest my statements.

"Yeah, well, it's pretty obvious, you're what she wants."

"I just wanted to do this properly. She isn't really aware of my asking…" Why did my throat suddenly constrict? I was not thirsty in the slightest. "I just thought the proper thing to do would be to ask you, as her father, for her hand in marriage."

Charlie's face went from pink to purple in six seconds, his heart pulsing strongly in his chest. He opened his mouth to speak, but sound eluded him; instead he chuffed and blustered, stammering without noise. I waited impassively, listening to his thoughts range from outrage to resignation to acceptance. After a full two minutes, his coloring began to return to normal, and he found the words he'd searched for a minute earlier.

"Aren't you kind of young? I mean, Bella's just eighteen, and you're… you're… Do your parents know about this?"

"Yes sir, they're completely aware and support the idea one hundred percent." I gazed directly into his eyes a moment, letting the confidence in my voice ring out. "I know today fathers are rarely asked for their daughter's hand. But Bella loves and respects you so much, I thought if I was going to ask to join our families, I needed to show you the same respect."

Charlie broke his gaze, rubbing his forearm and looking at the table. "Well. You are what she wants. And I know Bella. Once she makes up her mind, she's convicted. Gets that from her dad, I guess." His voice trailed off to a mutter as he rationalized Bella's marriage at such a young age with the promise of her happiness.

"I will take good care of her, sir. I love her."

He looked up at me again, his thoughts and expression now aligned in the belief of my sincerity. "Okay. I guess you can ask her. But this doesn't mean hanky-panky is okay outside of the weeding bed on this trip, you got me?"

"I understand you perfectly, sir."

"When are you going to ask her?"

"I thought I'd present the ring and proposal at the cabin, while we were away." Charlie surprised me; his thoughts were relieved and grateful. He couldn't conceal his discomfort with the idea, and he didn't want to deny Bella her happiness, but he didn't believe he could be there when I asked her. "I'll have Carlisle provide a full report, sir."

"Just make her happy, Edward. That's all I want for her."

"I promise, sir."

~ooOO0OOoo~

"Bella, we're here, love."

"Wha-… Where are we?" Her eyes were dark with sleep, her hair tousled. She looked sleepy and adorable.

"We're at the Lost Pine Airport, sweetheart. I know you're sleepy. We have a car waiting." I leaned across her seat and unclasped her seatbelt, pulling her into my lap. Her delicate fragrance filled my senses, warm and familiar, and venom flooded my mouth. I stood with her still in my arms, unwilling to let go.

"Edward, put me down! You don't have to -," she broke off, her gaze finding my eyes. "Oh, you must be thirsty." Her eyes shifted from side to side as she studied my face.

I set her on her feet, holding her as she steadied. "It's manageable." She stretched in the aisle as I pulled the bags from the overhead. I slung them over my shoulder and motioned towards the door. "Ready?"

She nodded briefly, hurrying towards the door without pausing. I followed behind, daydreaming about the home in the hills, and wondering what Bella would think of it.

"Over here!" Carlisle raised his hand and waved as he called. The rest of the family stood around the big vehicle, stretching and chatting. Bella stopped, gaping at the big black Suburban waiting by the runway.

"Do you all own the airport?" She gasped as she walked hesitantly to the car.

I didn't understand her confusion. "No," I explained, my confusion coloring my tone. "Why?"

"Well, most people have to park their cars away from where they park the planes, Edward."

"Oh. That. We've been here before, many times. And it's a very small airport."

She took in the whole airport then. It wasn't much of a take; there was one runway and one small hangar. "Oh. Okay."

I chuckled lowly, and followed her to the car.

"Back seat dibs!" Emmett's voice boomed as we approached the door.

"Next to back dibs!" Alice and Jasper rang out together.

Esme touched my arm and smiled. "Stow your stuff. I'll sit with Alice and Jasper. You two can have the front with Carlisle."

Bella began to object, but Esme's patient and loving smile stopped her. "Thank you." Bella lifted her left foot, pulling on the sides of the door to hoist herself into the seat. In her typical fashion, her foot slipped, crashing her chin into the seat. Before she could object, I grasped her tiny hips and lifted her to the seat and then slid in next to her.

The engine roared to life. "Next stop, Stony Man Peak." Carlisle was in high spirits, ready to return to his retreat. His thoughts were echoed throughout the car, although Emmett's mind held a certain nostalgia absent from the others.

"Stony Man?" Bella's eyebrows shot up in surprise and curiosity. Her voice broke the subtle hum of reverie-imbued thoughts buzzing in the crowded vehicle. She looked from Carlisle to me, waiting for some response. Carlisle smiled.

"Old family joke," I chuckled. "When Carlisle first came to the new world, he was unsure where he would call home. The Appalachian mountains were not as densely populated with humans as they are today, and they seemed a good place to start.

"One afternoon he was enlarging a cave he'd found, and –"

"Enlarging a cave?" Bella's surprised voice shout up an octave. "Really?"

I nodded my head.

"It seemed a good place to stay," Carlisle said. "It was on the side of a hill, and nobody really went there… except bears every now and again."

"I think they stay away from there now, though," I said softly, teasing him about his family's predilection for predators. He laughed softly, enjoying the joke at his expense, and Emmett joined him from the back seat.

"Someday, I'll get used to this," Bella snorted, shaking her head. "Go on, Carlisle was enlarging a cave…"

"He was enlarging the cave a sweeping the little plateau clear of trees and brush, when a Senedos warrior approached the clearing. Of course, he couldn't communicate with Carlisle, though he certainly tried."

"I'll never forget the look on his face when his spear hit me and shattered. His eyes were so wide, I became concerned they wouldn't stay in his head."

"There was a legend at that time about a cannibalistic hunter called the Stone Man," I continued.

"Nun'yunu'wi," Carlisle interjected. "Really unpleasant. Repulsed by menstrual blood."

"The warrior fell to the ground and wouldn't look up. He was fresh out of menstrual blood and he thought Carlisle was going to eat him. He didn't want Carlisle to go back to the tribe, so he was waiting to be consumed."

"But, how -, how do you know that if you couldn't communicate?"

"He finally realized I wasn't going to kill him, and stayed to help me for a few months. I think he was grateful." Carlisle's voice took on a wistful tone. "He was a good friend. He never told anyone where I was."

"No, he just named the peak after you." We both chuckled lowly.

Bella shook her head, unbelieving, before she cuddled into my arms and closed her eyes. "Will it take long to get there?"

"Long enough, love. You can sleep," I said, pulling her into my arms. Her body molded around mine, her hands seeking purchase as she held me. I leaned down to kiss her forehead, and the scent of her hair filled me, a heady intoxication. Reflexively, I began to hum her lullaby, keeping my voice low and soft, resonating in my chest where her head rested against me. I held her as her breathing slowed and deepened, my thoughts turning to the upcoming days and how we would face them together.

~ooOO0OOoo~

Bella slept so soundly, that when the car stopped, she shifted slightly, still clinging to me without waking.

"Go ahead. I'll follow you in, carrying her." Carlisle's quick nod told me he heard, though my voice was nearly inaudible.

Alice trilled a whisper behind me. "We've got your bags," she sang, her words hanging on the rushing air of their departure.

I stood alone with Bella cradled in my arms, taking in the beauty of the woods, earth, and sky surrounding us. "Don't open your eyes, sweetheart," I cooed into Bella's ear. I resumed my humming, soothing and willing her to stay asleep as I ran.

Though someone could argue one forest was very much like another, they would be wrong. Running down slope from Skyline Drive, the deep musk of the red oak and the sweetness of the occasional chestnut mixed together in a rustic perfume. The smell of the trees mingled with Bella's scent rushing past me as I ran, an aromatic, exhilarating euphoria. I slowed to a walk, breathing in the heady scents, listening to the skitter and tweet of the forest. For just a moment, I stilled, awestruck beneath the canopy of the trees, lost in the dappled undergrowth of yellow slippers and ferns. The shrine of nature engulfed me, and I stood stock still, unable and unwilling to move.

A herd of deer wandered into the sanctum where I stood, upwind and taking no notice of me. I watched their tentative trek towards me, their eyes cautious as they grazed. My thirst burned for a moment, flaring in response to the close proximity of food. I tamped down the call, still spellbound by the wonder surrounding me as I stood with my beating heart in my arms. A doe approached us shyly; I held my breath to save its fright. She sniffed at Bella in my embrace, and swiftly snaked out her tongue and licked across her forehead.

"What?" Bella stirred, awakened from her slumber, batting her hand across her face. I inhaled sharply in surprise. The deer scattered, sensing the danger in movement and catching the scent of my breath. Bella's eyes were wide with shock as the herd leaped around us on all sides, dashing away into the cover of the undergrowth.

"Did that deer _lick_ me?" She stared into my face, her eyes wide with surprise and fear.

"Yes," I said, gently dropping her legs and setting her upright. "Does that scare you?"

"No?" She seemed unsure of the answer, then spoke again. "No, it's just sort of disorienting, waking up with a deer kiss in the middle of a forest when the last thing I remember was sleeping in the car."

"I apologize, love. You were just sleeping so deeply, I didn't want to wake you."

"Why did you stop?"

"It's just so beautiful here. Your scent mixed with the fragrance of the trees…" I let my voice trail off, unable to aptly express the beauty that had captured me.

Bella took in a deep breath through her nose. "Uh, okay. You must smell something here different than I do."

Her statement surprised me. "What do you mean?"

"Can't you _smell_ that?"

"Smell what?"

"The trees smell like… well, sex. They smell like cum." The look on her face, the ridiculousness of her words, the perplexed inflection in her voice – it all combined into one overwhelmingly funny picture. I threw my head back, guffawing, unable to stop myself. Still laughing, I returned my gaze to her. She added petulantly, "Well, it does," sending me into paroxysms of mirth.

"Are we going somewhere, or did you just bring me here to laugh at me?"

I stilled my laughter, but could not contain my smile. "Why don't you hop up on my back, and I'll take you to Stony Man Peak." She eyed me cautiously, unsure. "We're almost there."

She walked toward me, climbing over my bent frame. "No more deer kisses, okay?"

"As you wish, love," I said, unable to lose my smile. "Next stop, Stony Man. Close your eyes."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Please leave a comment so I know you're out there.** _


	8. Chapter 8: Cabin

_**I have quite a few thank yous to send out this time. There were so many people who sent words of encouragement and requests for postings – and I thank you. You mean the world to me. Once again, Mr. Bigg was my incomparable beta, my best critic and biggest fan, and I couldn't have finished this without you and your insightful input. And I have to give props to three who helped me when I was down: Vicki, Margaret, and Heather. Thank you for your love and support ; you'll never know just how much you helped me.**_

_**To everyone who sent encouragement and cries for more, you'll find this chapter a bit longer than usual to sate that need. I gave you lemons to mollify your required wait. Now that we're almost through the holidays, I hope to be back on schedule and post more often. **_

_**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**_

**Cabin**

"What? You two get lost along the way, or just couldn't wait to get here? A little experimenting on your own?" Emmett's grin matched his thoughts: playful, prankish – and completely irritating. Bella frowned and pulled closer to my chest.

"Em, seriously?" I lowered my arms, allowing Bella to drop lightly to her feet. I held her until she was stable. She brushed at her hair with her fingers, as I flashed to Emmett, "Isn't this difficult enough?" I whispered lowly.

"Don't you mean _hard _enough, little bro?" He jabbed me with his elbow, pushing against my ribs as hard as he could. I felt the pressure, and grimaced, then flashed back to Bella's side. He toppled minutely, regaining his composure before Bella noticed. "Sheesh! So sensitive!"

I turned my face towards Bella. "Want to go inside?"

"Inside… where?"

"Inside the cabin, Bella," I said, motioning to the entry way. "I know it may be tough to see, but the main house is right here." I cupped her elbow in my hand, guiding her to the entrance. The strands of leaves moved without resistance under my hand, revealing the opening. "We call it a cabin, but in actuality, it is a cave." The light from within was warm and welcoming.

"You have electricity here?" She glanced to the sky, apparently looking for wires and cables – conveyances that would never make it here.

Emmett was at my side. "We generate our own electricity. I've already set us up for the first few days."

"How did you…"

"Treadmill generator. Taking a run fuels the generator. Not strictly necessary for us, but it's great for videos and Xbox… so I can kick _this_ one's butt!" He jabbed me in the ribs and winked at Bella. "Besides, you're going to need it to keep warm, and stuff. We packed in some food and blankets for you."

"Uh, thanks, Emmett," Bella said, biting her lip. "I don't suppose you have, um, a bathroom?" Her cheeks flamed red as she looked up at me through her lashes.

I stepped forward, circling my arms around her and pulling her to my chest. "We have everything, love. Let's go inside, night's going to fall soon." She shivered a bit, and I cursed myself mentally for letting my focus drift from her human needs. I pushed aside the vines again, guiding her in. Once she was over the threshold, Alice squealed her name, pulling her into the main room.

"Uh, Edward," Emmett grabbed my arm. _Bro, when's the last time you ate?_

"The last time you did, before we made plans to come here."

_No, Edward, I ate twice after that. You need to eat, bro. Especially if you're going to…_His thoughts trailed off into sexual fantasy, with no specific players envisioned.

"I see. You're probably right. I tend to let simple things slip when I'm with her."

"Right. Take Jasper with you, get some grub and come back. We'll take care of Bella, show her the house and stuff."

"I'm not…" I was none too sure about leaving Bella with Emmett, giving his excessive prankishness. And Rosalie still had an only mild regard for Bella's feelings. "Maybe that's not such a great idea."

"Dude, I'm on my best behavior. Rose, too. And Carlisle and Esme'll be here, with Alice. It'll be cool, I promise." He smiled and crossed his heart, as if in an oath sworn with blood. "Scouts honor. Besides, Jasper needs to hunt. Told me on the way up."

Maybe he was right. My thirst could not become a factor in the experiment we would put her through; if my focus was interrupted with thoughts of Bella's blood… Venom rose and swelled into my mouth at the thought. I swallowed with a grimace. "All right, then. We'll go in a few minutes. Let me tell Bella."

He punched me in the arm and muttered "Pussy-whipped." But his thoughts were warm and tender, taking pride in my care for Bella. I smiled weakly, rubbing my arm in mock pain.

Bella was sitting on the couch, listening to Alice's animated soliloquy. Her eyes flashed to mine, looking for some pull strong enough to save her from the onslaught that was Mary Alice Brandon.

"And I think an outdoors wedding will be beautiful, don't you? White ribbons, oh! And lavender flowers!" Alice trilled on, refusing to notice Bella's distraction.

"Alice, let me speak with Bella for a moment."

She pouted. _Fine, but bring her right back. We have so much to plan!_

Bella stood, leaving Alice with an apologetic smile. She took a few unsteady steps in my direction. "What's wrong?" She frowned a little, pulling her brows into her distinctive v.

"Nothing, love. But as you said at the airport, I should eat. Emmett and Alice will keep you company and show you around." I pulled her into my embrace, rubbing her arms. "I won't be long, I swear."

"You'd better not be; I don't know if I can survive Hurricane Alice," she whispered into my chest.

"I heard that!" Alice chimed laughingly.

I kissed the top of her head as Jasper appeared at my side. She lifted her face towards mine, and I bent to her lips, inhaling her scent as I pressed my mouth against hers. "I'll be back as quickly as possible."

"Okay," she said, and turned away. "Okay, Alice, I'm yours, but I'm not wearing stilettos, even if they are white."

~ooO0Ooo~

Jasper ran silently beside me, our senses pointed down the hillside in search of food. Rocky crags marked our trek like soundless sentinels overseeing the mayhem we caused in the animal world. Jasper had taken a bear, I, a mountain lion. tracking a herd of deer, our thirst grew with each forward stride.

I glanced to my side and Jasper nodded to me. _I'll take the lead. You box them in from the flank. _I nodded back, cutting to the left to bring up the rear. The kill would be easy, our thirst slaked, and my run back to the arms of my beloved entirely too long.

We drank in silence. Jasper finished his kill first, and stood, brushing the dirt and leaves from his pants. He sang an old military march in his head, which was unlike him.

"Jasper?" I pushed the carcass away and stood. "What's bothering you?"

He turned to me, his face tense. _I know you have to be concerned about tonight. _He held his gift at bay, emoting nothing, but the images that accompanied his simple statement spoke volumes of the danger as he saw it. _Do you want to talk before we go back?_ "Just to walk through it. I know you analyze everything."

"I do," I said, staring at the dead animal at my feet. I had considered all I would be asking of Bella. Certainly, she'd been in jeopardy before because of me; my very presence _put _her in jeopardy. This, however, was quite different. She would be the center of my attention, but my sensory perception would be agitated, excited by Jasper's gift. Instead of dancing with her fate, she would be tempting it, asking for fate to end her life. At my hands, for my sake. Considering it all, the request seemed ridiculously out of balance. Wrong.

My warring thoughts exuded distress and worry through my pores. I closed my eyes, slowly shaking my head. _I must restrain myself. _Jasper cringed visibly; I realized the unease with my internal flagellations surrounded me where I stood and impacted him.

He glanced up at me, his eyes tightening. _You should know how it feels coming back to you._ A ball of shame and angst hit my gut, causing my own thoughts to prickle and burn beneath my skin. _It will be like that as I reflect your lust back to you. _

I shook my head as the torment dissipated. "It's so strong. Is there a way to temper the strength?"

_I'm concerned about it myself. Without an outlet, I can modulate the **intensity **a bit, but I'm playing your emotions back to you, which heightens their intensity. _

"What if you had an… outlet?"

_The only way I could would be to have…_ Images filled his head, things I'd prefer never to see.

"Yes, basically, you have the gist of it."

He nodded and thought an apology. Jasper and I stood face to face in the woods, separated only by the carcasses of the animals we'd consumed, only one speaking, but communicating in a wholly unnatural way.

~ooO0Ooo~

"Bella," I said, rushing to her side. "I missed you." She was feather-light in my arms, a wisp, a soul, a weightless breeze that held my heart.

She stretched up on her toes to kiss me. "Alice has been talking my ears off about the wedding," she said. "I'm not even sure what I've agreed to."

"No need to worry, Bella," Alice chimed. "I have it all right here." She tapped the side of her head with her finger, and the images of the wedding came together in strong focus, save one small detail.

"What about the dress?" I hadn't truly meant to ask, but the absence of that image was so conspicuous, it became compelling.

She leveled her gaze at me. "_You_ don't get to see it before the wedding, that's what." _It's bad luck, silly. _

"We're already married, Alice," I replied. She shot me a murderous glance, and I knew I was fighting a losing battle. I turned back to Bella. "We should go to our room."

Bella leaned in and whispered, "_Now_? With everybody, well, just here? Knowing?"

"They know why we came here, Bella," I whispered softly. My family all turned away, hearing the bloom of embarrassment in her voice. "Come. You need a minute to freshen up." I pressed my palm to the small of her back, reveling in the heat. "Good night, everyone. We'll see you in the morning."

The family murmured passive goodnights. Their minds told a different story: Warnings of caution, hoots of encouragement, and expressions of confidence cut across the false air of tranquility. As Bella and I moved down the hall, I wondered again about the possibility of a successful outcome. My fears for Bella began to swell as we approached our room, and I reached for something, anything, to steady my nerves and steel myself to the requirement of the experiment.

The polished wood walls exuded a faint scent, mixing with Bella excited aroma nicely. I let the scent pull deeply into my lungs, focusing on the nearness of the woman next to me. Suddenly, she tripped lightly, righting herself and glancing up at me. "Sorry."

"Bella. Never apologize to me for being who you are." Blush painted her cheeks, and her scent increased, feeding my heightened attention on her. "This is our room."

I pushed the door open, allowing her to enter first. Alice and Esme had been here before; the bed already made in white sheets and duvet, and pulled back, ready for us. A white slip of lace lay across the foot of the bed, and the room was warm and comfortable.

Bella assessed the room with wide eyes. "No windows?"

"No, remember, it's built into the side of a mountain. The air comes in through…," I pointed to the vent. "There. We added it when we could, around 1970 or so."

"How long – ," she started, but I could wait no longer. I allowed my kiss to consume her words, ready to be beside her, with her flesh heating mine. She pushed the hot tip of her tongue into my mouth, and a low moan escaped from my throat.

"I don't want to talk about the décor," I said, lifting her hips. She wrapped her legs around my waist in response, her hands already twining in my hair. "In fact, I don't want to talk at all." My cold, hard lips pressed against her heated, pliable mouth. I set us both down on the bed gently, never breaking the kiss or our hold.

Though I'd been born nearly a century before her, I could not escape the feeling that I'd been made to kiss Bella. Our tongues danced in a frenzy of desire and passion, her taste mingling with mine. Her corybantic cardiac pounding against my still chest called to me, pulsing for both of us in a wild, abandoned rhythm. _Too fast_.The thought entered my head and wouldn't leave. I pulled back, looking into her eyes.

"Do you want to freshen up first? There's a wash basin and towels behind the screen, there," I pointed with my gaze. We stayed entangled in each other's embrace, neither willing to break the closeness we felt.

"Do I smell bad to you?" She leaned in and bit my lip, then pressed her mouth against mine.

"Quite the opposite," I whispered, my lips against hers. "I'd prefer not to move right now, if the truth be told." I kissed her again softly.

She laughed a little girl's trill, the titter she released only when deeply happy. "Okay. I'll be right back." She leaned around me, grabbing the lacy slip and sliding to her feet. "I'll be right back. Don't go away." She pecked me on the lips and disappeared behind the screen.

Water spilled into the bowl, and Bella gasped as she splashed it across her skin. "Gah! This water's so cold!"

"Sorry, sweetheart," I said, moving through the room. I turned the lights to low, and shrugged out of my clothes. The sheets were warm, the heated mattress pad adding to the comfort. "The bed is warm, Bella, so you won't be cold tonight."

I slipped beneath the sheet, quietly chuckling to myself at the little tent I inadvertently erected. "Well," Bella breathed lowly. "What do you think?"

She stepped around the corner of the screen, and my mouth dropped open. I had no words to describe the beauty before me. Her skin peeked luminously beneath the slip, pink and in perfect complement to the delicacy of the lace itself. The petal blush of her nipples bloomed in pastel contrast to the white lace that strained across them. She stood shyly before the screen, watching me as I took her in. "Do you like it?" She glanced down, brushing at the drape on her hips.

"Come here. Let me show you."

She bounded to the bed, stumbling slightly only once, and slipped beneath the sheet I held aloft for her. My nakedness was clear, and a sharp inhalation signaled her view of my erection. Her warm hands clasped around my shaft, and I followed with a sharp inhalation of my own.

"Bella," I moaned. Her name was angel song, ringing in my chest and skin. She smiled up at me, as she stroked my length, pushing her gentle fingers around the head. "This could be dangerous, love. No, this will be dangerous. You must say immediately if anything causes you pain. We should have a safe word."

"Mmm," she breathed as her tongue flicked out across my nipple.

A husky growl escaped my throat, thick with desire. "Bella, please. Just tell me what you'll say if you're hurt. Please. I want you," I croaked, lifting her face to mine, kissing her mouth.

"Persimmon," she whispered against my lips. The word was the signal to release my tether to here and now, losing myself in the sweet fragrance and burning touch of my lover, my wife. I pressed my mouth to hers, pushing my tongue into her parted lips.

I wanted to lose myself in her, find salvation, redemption, belonging, all in my lover's embrace. I poured myself into her yearning kiss, telling her with my hands, my body, that I would never leave her, never have enough. I wanted no thought other than the luxury of her skin next to mine, her hair tangled around my fingers like cords of restraint'; how could I leave? I could never leave. My need pulled her closer, so carefully, tenderly. Her skin glided beneath my tongue and the elegance of her neck, pulsing and smooth beneath my lips.

I was lost in her touch when a sudden otherness plagued my reverie. Jasper slipped in, dragging Alice with him to hide behind the screen. I had known this was how it would work, had known they would come here, but a low growl rumbled in my chest at the awareness of their presence.

"What is it, Edward?" Bella's voice was soft, nearly unspoken. She searched my eyes, looking for the source of my disturbance.

"Nothing," I murmured, my lips engaging hers once again. I breathed into her mouth, "I want you. I want to feel you, all over."

Bella needed no other encouragement. She dragged her tongue and teeth down my neck, across my collarbone as her hands slid down my sides. Her soft tongue swirled around my right nipple as her hand pinched and pulled the other. I leaned in, kissing her hair, running my hands down her exquisite back and over her perfect ass. Her tongue painted wicked designs down my belly, curling the hair that led ever downward. When her mouth met my cock, I moaned her name aloud.

I didn't know how Bella was so innately proficient in giving head, but I thanked God in Heaven for this extra blessing. The warmth of her wet mouth thrilled me, and as she trailed her tongue around the underside of the head, I felt my balls pull tight in anticipation. "Bella, love, that feels so good. Go slower, please love, I don't want to come yet." She immediately slowed her actions, but increased the pressure and intensity, allowing her soft teeth to drag up and down the shaft of my cock.

Again, I became aware Jasper's mind as my passion reached him behind the screen. Alice's mouth had found similar purchase, and her ministrations amplified Jasper's already lust-filled thoughts. Bella cupped my balls, warming them in her hands. Alice's tongue slid down, taking one of Jasper's balls into her mouth. Bella kissed and sucked up the shaft of my cock, her mahogany hair spilling deliciously onto my abdomen; Jasper gripped Alice's hair more tightly. Two heads bobbed down the shaft; two tongues swirled around the tip before swallowing the length. My body was consumed in the fire of want, of need. I needed her now. Now.

"Bella," I breathed pulling her from my cock. I pulled her to my face and watched surprise and lust sweep across her features before pushing her lips to mine. Her mouth was pure sex: Her own intoxicating flavor rinsed through with the taste of cock on her tongue. Jasper kissed Alice deeply, lifting her; I pulled Bella beneath me and rolled above.

"I need to be inside you." The words held a strange echo, and I realized Jasper said the same to Alice. Bella nodded briefly, biting her lip and closing her eyes. The head of my member lay at her wet and warm entrance. As I pushed gently forward; Jasper's cock slid into Alice. The wave of desire struck me, taking me by surprise, unbalancing me. I felt my nostrils flare, the scent of Bella/Alice flooding our thoughts, our needs, our pure desire and want… My hands grasped Bella's shoulders as I drove my cock forward into her waiting sex.

My God. No one had ever felt this much need, this much longing. I reluctantly pulled back so I could plunge again, shaking with passion and desire. Bella moaned softly, drawing my eyes to her face. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted, ecstasy painted across her delicate features. I tried holding back, savoring the moment, delighting in the absolute warmth and pleasure that was my wife, when another wave of lust broke across my chest.

My hands tightened on Bella's shoulders, causing a wince to crease her brow. I recognized her expression of pain, dimly realizing that we were both under the influence of Jasper's unholy gift. I lifted my thumbs from her skin, to see the blood rush beneath the indentation, the birth of a bruise coloring her skin. Though I knew I should hate myself, knew I should stop, venom flooded my mouth and I heard myself growl, "More."

Jasper was no longer consciously pushing lust to me; his thoughts were only of his mate, bouncing on his shaft, wet and warm and willing. Alice's head appeared above the screen, popping up and down in rhythm to their fucking. Bella moaned below me, and the white world of sheets and lace bled into blood red. I realized I was ready, ready to bite her soft flesh, drink her hot, sweet blood, come into her warm sex…

"Oh Jasper, Jasper!" Alice's shouts were loud and frantic. "Emmett! Emmett, I need you, Emmett!" _Emmett?_ I knew something was wrong, but I didn't care. The world blazed in crimson, my mind lost the haze, the color of my desire. I plunged into Bella's center again, leaning my head in to sate my burning throat as my cock began to shoot.

The door flung open. Emmett bounded into the room. His entrance was filled with purpose and will until the wall of lust hit him. For a flash of an instant, his hand moved to his cock and he began to masturbate. Alice shrieked Jasper's name one more time, this time, the tone one of urgency and fear. Emmett's hand stopped in midstroke, his arms now pulling at mine, ripping me from the snugness of Bella's warm pussy. She opened her eyes in shock as Emmett and I struggled. I did not want Emmett there. I wanted Bella. I would have Bella. I would have her.

"Dammit, Emmett," I shouted as he pulled me off the bed. I struggled in scarlet, my cock flying free, jism shooting haphazardly in my exertion to free myself. "I want _her._ Let me go! Let me go _now!" _My body shook and struggle against Emmett's iron hold, my mind alit with the fiery need for Bella's body and blood. "Let me go!"

Jasper's hand shot into my open mouth while the words still rang in the room. A glass tube tapped against my teeth as he gathered the sample.

"All right, Em," was all he said, and suddenly, the burning ruby flames evaporated into embarrassment and shame. I stopped struggling. The steady stream of come that had shot from my body just moments before trailed off uselessly. I felt repulsed and sick, and I slumped in Emmett's arms.

Bella had crawled on all fours to the edge of the bed, shouting. "Let him go! Get off him!" She still wore the white lace slip, but her features were now glowing with rage instead of passion. "Get off him, Emmett! Let him go!"

Emmett dropped his grip, letting my body fall into a heap on the floor. Bella stumbled over to me, pulling me into her arms.

Jasper slapped Emmett on the back. "Thanks, bro. You did the right thing." At the door, Alice joined Jasper, shooting a glance to me. Her thoughts matched the words she mouthed. _Sorry._

* * *

><p><em>I hope this was worth the wait. Please comment, let me know your thoughts. <em>


	9. Chapter 9: Sample

_**As always, I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to my fantastic beta and partner, Mr. Bigg. **_

_**I dedicate this chapter to Spunky and PJ for a millions reasons, not the least of which being their belief in me and their unflinching support. Thank you. **_

_**And lastly, thank you to the readers who took time to review the story. Your reviews really lift me and keep me going!**_

_**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**_

_Bella had crawled on all fours to the edge of the bed, shouting. "Let him go! Get off him!" She still wore the white lace slip, but her features were now glowing with rage instead of passion. "Get off him, Emmett! Let him go!" _

_Emmett dropped his grip, letting my body fall into a heap on the floor. Bella stumbled over to me, pulling me into her arms. _

_Jasper slapped Emmett on the back. "Thanks, bro. You did the right thing." At the door, Alice joined Jasper, shooting a glance to me. Her thoughts matched the words she mouthed. Sorry. _

* * *

><p><strong>Sample<strong>

Bella's arms were around me, the heat of her embrace blistering against my skin. "Edward, are you okay? Talk to me, please."

I couldn't raise my head. This all had been horribly wrong. The image of my fingers bruising her tender flesh haunted me, yet burning more deeply and more sinister was the knowledge that I had enjoyed the bruising, had wanted her skin to flush with blood, had come ever so close to ending her life. What kind of man hurts his beloved? And for what? For some _test_? I wanted to stop her worry, but I could not open my eyes lest I see the vision again, nor open my mouth without wailing.

"Edward, we knew this would be tricky. Come on," she tugged ineffectually at my chin. "Edward, please." She pushes and pulled against my shoulder, rigid though I remained. "Please."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I –," I tried to go on, but my voice caught in my throat, shame stealing my sound.

"It's _all right_, Edward, really. I've had worse bruises from getting up in the morning. Please. You need to let this go." She tugged at me again, trying to pull me from inactivity. When she saw I would not move, she flung her arms around me once again, and began to cry.

"Edward, Edward, my poor tortured boy. I wish you knew how much I love you, how much I hurt for you. None of this is anything you wanted, anything you asked for, and you work so hard -," her voice cut off in a choked sob.

Her anguish was more than I could bear. "Bella, no, sweetheart, don't cry." I unfolded myself, scooping her into my arms. "Shhh, no, love, please." She clung to my neck, her body warm and wracked with sobs. "Bella, please. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being so self-indulgent. Please, sweetheart."

"You… you're not self- self-indulgent," her tears still flowed, but the wracking sobs that shook her body began to subside. "It's just sad, is all. I feel so sad for you, Edward." I ran my fingers below each of her eyes, catching the tears that stained her beauty. She drew in a shaky breath and sniffed. "I love you so much, Edward. I don't ever want to lose you."

"As I love you. Please don't cry for me," I sighed, pulling her close into my chest. "I know we had opted to do this, but I set aside my misgivings about the experiment and went on, putting you in danger. And this danger wasn't from an outsider, from an unknown, faceless menace – no. It was within me. I put you in danger for… what exactly." The shame and embarrassment began to creep back into my chest, choking my words.

"You did it for us," Bella whimpered, wiping her eyes. "For _us_, Edward. What would I do if whatever this thing is, if it took you away from me? I lost you once, I won't do it again." I cringed over her words, knowing exactly what she meant. I had left her once, and it had nearly killed us both. I remembered the images from Alice's mind of Bella running, feral and frightened, or changed and happy. I had promised I'd change her, and I would keep my word.

"Maybe we shouldn't try anything until after graduation," I whispered, kissing her softly as I spoke. "It's just too risky, Bella. I, I can't live with myself knowing that somewhere inside me is a monster that would hurt you, hurt you for its own pleasure." The problem would always be my desire for her, my need. Could I wait the few short months to graduation? Could I resist her siren call? I shook my head, rolling from atop her. It was impossible. Imagining life without the touch of her skin gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach, and I knew I'd never withstand its absence. Was she doomed to love me, more monster than man who could not put her safety first? I didn't want her to see this side of me, this monstrous thing that I was. I threw my arm over my eyes, hiding.

She crawled on top of me, pulling softly at my arm. "Hey," she whispered. "I know who you are, Edward. You aren't the monster you imagine yourself to be. Look at me." Something in her voice, something in the way she said my name made me move the arm hiding my face and open my eyes. Her eyes were earnest and tender, but with a ferocity underneath I had never seen before. "I love you, Edward. You. Flaws and all. There is nothing, _nothing_ you can say or do that will make me stop loving you. All I'm asking now is that you love me, too." She waited, watching my face for some signal.

I blinked, trying desperately to decide how to tell her about the monster inside me, to find the words would make her understand. She was sweet and loving, far too trusting and optimistic. She needed to know, to truly understand the depths of my depravity. How could I make her see? I searched the depths of her eyes, her steadfast gaze. Her eyes told another story, one of love and knowledge and acceptance and realization. She knew the monster was there, and she didn't care. She knew me and loved me anyway, and loved the monster, too.

With superhuman speed, I pressed up, scooping her into my arms and kissing her lips. Her dainty hands rested against my chest, enveloped in my embrace. "Bella," I sighed, letting my breath be her air. I knew I could never articulate the rush of emotions flashing through me. I was safe, accepted, loved, cherished. I was home.

My hand trail down her neck, shoulders, back, while my mouth explained my passion through a kiss. Her heated skin shot small blasts of fire through the gaps in the lace. Her hair brushed my cheek as we kissed, sweeping acrossmy skin like a soft caress. My body reacted to each touch, and though it was completely inappropriate, I was rock hard once again.

"Mmm, Edward," she sighed, exhaling into my mouth. The act was so intimate, sharing breath with my lover, my wife. Her hand rested over my heart, bringing life and warmth to the crystallized organ. I became lost in the sensation of communion, the life and salvation she breathed into me. I gave myself over to the kiss and focused on nothing else. Her mouth melded with mine, her teeth scraped sensuously down my tongue, her aroma and taste played deliciously with my senses.

I became aware of a point of heat, a fever circling my cock. The touch was undeniable and the sensation beyond compare; it was then I realized Bella's hand had slipped down to my straining member. I broke away from the kiss, gulping air, trying to control my reaction.

"Edward, you are so hard. Mmm," she panted, and I nearly lost control. Her hand worked my shaft, pushing and pulling the skin over my cock. Everything within me screamed _Push!_, but I knew **pushing against her would hurt her**, break her hand, and stop the lovely pleasure her stroking provided.

"Since we, uh, you know, didn't finish? Can we try again?" She bit her lips in nervous anticipation. The tiny tick drove me to distraction. I swallowed, trying to remember reason.

"Bella, we should wait," was all I could manage to choke out. The little v marking her distress appeared between her brows, and a definite pout replaced her nervous bite.

"But… I want you _now_," she purred. Her hand never stopped moving, though her kisses began to trail down my neck, across my nipple. I knew where she was heading.

"Love, love, wait. Wait," I said pushing her back. My hands held her at the shoulders, and she winced; my thumbs were pressing into the very bruises I'd left before. I released her immediately, exclaiming, "Bella, for the love all that's holy, I just can't! I'm hurting you again!"

She pushed me back against the mattress. I had no will to resist, over-stimulated and anxious for her safety as I was. She crawled on top of me, nestling her ass over my sex. "Edward. Let me do the work." She pressed her palms over my shoulders, lifting herself up, onto my erection, and plunged herself down. Tight warmth squeezed my aching member, slick and smooth and hot.

"You're so wet…"

"I _want_ you. I'm wet for _you_. No one else – you," she breathed, lifting and impaled herself again. "I'm all yours."

Time and space seemed to unravel at her words. The world shifted as I felt the lust boil within my veins. "Mine," I growled, pulling her to me, and she giggled. I rolled her beneath me, and continued the pumping she had started. "_Mine_," I repeated, driving my cock into her. I knew I had to restrain the need burning in my loins or she could be hurt, but her tight, wet box gave me other ideas.

Her breathing had turned harsh and rasping. Her body moved beneath me, rhythmically writhing in response to each thrust. Her legs wrapped around me, and I slid one hand beneath her perfect ass. "Bella," I cautioned, trying to slow, to draw the feeling out, to sustain this closeness as long as I could. Her eyes were watching me, focused on my mouth until they squeezed shut and her head jerked back.

"Edward!" The force of her orgasm surrounding my cock sent licks of deliciousness and pleasure through my body. My mind screamed to hold on, and I knew that something was changing. I stilled, letting her pussy clutch and milk my cock. The room shot through with a ruby gloss, and I felt as though all ties to restraint and control would dissolve into the night if I moved one centimeter. Her orgasm released my own, and I closed my eyes.

_They're still at it! No, wait, it's almost over. Is he okay – is she okay? He's holding on. _The voices filled my head as Bella's body filled my senses. The room tilted at odd angels, bright vermillion bathing the lace wrapped around Bella's body, and the skin beneath. A woman struggled: _The trail is steep here, I don't know if I can make it. Give me a hand, will you? _A man: _I should have brought the camera. _The stream of cum shot into Bella, and the noises she made filled my ears. My head was full of other voices, nearby and distant. I felt myself spiraling down, down, lost in the words and movement, lost in my bright red orgasm, lost in crimson of Bella's body.

~o0O0o~

"Edward?" Bella's voice held an edge of hysteria and panic. Her hands rocked my shoulders. I felt calm, relaxed. _Why was she screaming?_

"Edward! Wake up!" I opened my eyes as pounding sounded at the door.

"Hey! Are you all right? Bella, is Edward all right?"

"He's okay, it's all right," Alice's high-pitched trill answered the question behind the door. "They'll be out soon. Come back to the living room. They're all right, Em." I could hear his reluctant footsteps as she coaxed him away, his thoughts angry and concerned.

_Come out when you're ready, Edward,_ Alice thought with pointed desperation. _Tell Bella to wear something loose from the closet. _

"Bella? Are you all right?" I sat up, regaining my composure.

She flung her arms around my neck. "Oh thank God, Edward, you're okay." She held onto me as my hands instinctively raised to return her embrace.

"What happened?"

She pulled back, still holding me, searching my eyes. "You – you sort of went rigid and then, just, went away? I don't know how to explain it right. You sort of passed out, like you weren't here, but I heard…" She shook her head in confusion, trying to make sense of what she'd seen.

"I'm all right, sweetheart. I'm here," I said, pulling her back into my arms. "Are you all right?"

"Edward, I was just scared. This is getting stranger and stranger," she murmured into my shoulder. "Carlisle's got to have an answer. We can't go on like this." She pulled me tight again and whispered into my ear. "I don't know what to do."

"Let's go out and see them, okay? Perhaps Carlisle can tell us something. There's something loose for you to wear in the closet."

"Okay," she said reflexively, and pushed herself to standing. She took two steps towards the closet, and turned. She was confused, her brows knitted together. "Edward, why am I wearing something loose?"

"Alice said to," I said absently, standing and reaching for my pants. "We shouldn't keep her waiting."

~o0O0o~

I felt as if I were floating as we walked into the room. Rose was angry, Emmett's thoughts were tangled and stressed. I could hear them, but it was just so much work to decipher what they meant. Bella walked in front of me towards Alice and Jasper. Carlisle sat at the table with Esme, but their eyes were on us.

Alice reached out and wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling her to her side by Jasper. "Are you all right?" _Edward, are you all right?_

"Yes, but I'm worried about Edward," Bella said as she turned to face me. Her lips moved, and Alice's head tilted to the side watching her as if she were speaking, but no sound came from her mouth. Alice looked back to my face expectantly.

"What?" I felt completely at a loss. The seven sets of eyes watched me, but only Bella mouthed words I could not hear. The room was eerily quiet as the realization slowly dawned: I couldn't hear what they were thinking.

"Carlisle?" My tongue felt swollen in my head, and I saw my father's eyes widen as I sank to my knees.

~o0O0o~

"Please, please Edward, please wake up…" The sound was high pitched and keening, with a bleak sadness coloring the voice.

"He should open his eyes… now," Alice said as my eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?"

"Oh Edward!" Bella's hair covered my face as she pulled me close. My head was in her lap, and she rocked back and forth in a self-comforting motion.

"Son, you passed out," Carlisle said as Bella pulled back. "You were out for five minutes. We were all quite scared. What do you remember?"

"I remember walking out of the bedroom, and Alice asked me if I was all right," I mumbled, rubbing my head as I pulled myself up. "Then everything went silent. I knew you were talking," I said, looking to Bella tear-stained, worried face. "But I couldn't hear anything, or anyone. No words, no sounds, no thoughts." I picked up her hand, placing a kiss in her palm. I turned to Carlisle. "What did you find? Did the sample show you anything?"

"From what I can tell here, the cell structure was intact, although the cell membrane itself showed some distress. No breaks or intrusions, nothing that should cause the symptoms you've exhibited. I'll know more once we can view it under better conditions, but… I just didn't see anything that would denote a change along the magnitude of what you're experiencing.

"Did you have any symptoms like this when Jasper left the room?" Carlisle was puzzled. His thoughts were scattered, flipping through different scenarios and variances to determine a cause as his medical training had conditioned him to do.

"No. I had begun to see the red color again, but it broke off – ," I started, when a thought struck me. "Jasper stopped just as the red began. After he left, Bella and I re-engaged, and I did see red again. I heard the voices again, too." I looked to Bella. "Did you hear anything?"

"Maybe… It was short and mumbly, not like those other times," she whispered. "But I thought you passed out for a second, remember?"

"Like he did just now?"

"No, not exactly. It was more like he, he just wasn't there. Like he was a million miles away."

"I see," Carlisle said, Esme now at his side. "I wish we had a sample from when you exhibited these symptoms, Edward. Something from the episode might give us the details we need."

"I won't subject Bella to any more experiments, Carlisle. She's not safe," I said, patting Bella's hand.

Alice stood behind Bella, moving her hands to her shoulders. "Wait. Maybe you don't have to," Bella said, moving her hand to touch Alice's. I watched her face as her cheeks burned bright red. "How fresh does the sample have to be?"

"Outside the host, it would need to have been kept warm for the last fifteen minutes or so," Carlisle replied.

She looked up at Alice, who smiled down at her. "Well, then, um, maybe you can get a sample out of me."

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><p><em><strong>As Alice would say, "Show the love..." Please leave a review!<strong>_


	10. Chapter 10: Shadows

**_A/N: I know there was a bit of a wait for this chapter, and to my readers, I apologize. Life got in the way of writing and responding to reviews, but I can't regret it. I'm very, very happy to have life. It's odd how you don't realize how important little things are until their existence is threatened. _**

**_Thank you to my most patience and wise beta, Mr. Bigg. You, sir, rock completely. _******

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><p><strong>All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.<strong>

_"I see," Carlisle said, Esme now at his side. "I wish we had a sample from when you exhibited these symptoms, Edward. Something from the episode might give us the details we need." _

_"I won't subject Bella to any more experiments, Carlisle. She's not safe," I said, patting Bella's hand. _

_Alice__ stood behind Bella, moving her hands to her shoulders. "Wait. Maybe you don't have to," Bella said, moving her hand to touch Alice's. I watched her face as her cheeks burned bright red. "How fresh does the sample have to be?" _

_"Outside the host, it would need to have been kept warm for the last fifteen minutes or so," Carlisle replied. _

_She looked up at Alice, who smiled down at her. "Well, then, um, maybe you can get a sample out of me."_

**Shadows**

Bella emerged from the hall with Carlisle, who held a stoppered test tube in his hand. "Thank you, Bella. You made this uncomfortable situation much easier." He looked across the room at me. _I'll start work on this right away. And by the way, she's fine._

I nodded quickly as I crossed the room to Bella. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal, really." As if to punctuate her nonchalance, Bella yawned. "Oh, excuse me," she said, blinking rapidly. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"It's very late, love. Let's get you to bed," I said, supporting her. Emmett chortled, and I shot him a glance from across the room.

"Geez, so serious," he muttered, too low for Bella to hear. I guided her from the room, my hand under her elbow, listening to Emmett's advice about relaxing and taking everything less seriously drone on in his head.

The door closed was a tiny click. She walked over to the suitcase of clothes, pulling out a t-shirt and sweats. "I'll be right back," she assured me quietly, and she stepped behind the screen. The soft rustle of her robe and clothes filled the air, and I set about making the bed.

"Tah dah," she said as she stepped from behind the screen. "I know it's not the sexiest ever."

I rushed to her side, and scooped her into my arms. "You make everything sexy; Bella, simply because you wear it," I whispered in her ear. "Wearing this is you, it's where you relax. I like it. I always have." I placed her gently in the bed, pulling her hands away from my neck. "Let's get you bundled."

"Will you come lie beside me?"

I tucked the covers around her as fast as I could. "Of course, love," I said softly as I lay beside her. I kissed her hair, so fragrant and beautiful. Her hair was mussed and tangled, unkempt. I had to admit to myself I liked it – she looked drowsy and relaxed, completely at home in my arms.

"Edward, what are we going to do?" Her eyes were closed, her back to me as I spooned her. "We can't go on like this. I know how difficult this must be for you, and I know I'm not helping, but I can't seem to control myself when I'm close to you."

"Bella, love, please don't berate yourself," I whispered in her ear. "You're not alone in your desire; I want you more than what's good for either of us."

"But you always resist," she whimpered, and her breathing caught. "I, I try, but I just, just…"

"Shh, sweetheart," I said, kissing her forehead. "Remember a long time ago, when we first met? Do you remember what I told you about vampires? That we are attractive to our prey?"

She didn't respond, but I knew she heard me. I could hear the tears falling from her eyes.

"Hey," I said gently, tugging her shoulder so that she laid on her back. She rolled without resistance, her eyes closed and wet.

"Bella, we'll work this out. We'll work it out like we always do, together. I love you."

"I love you, too." She sniffed, and the decision to end her crying crossed her face though her eyes were closed. Every moment we spent together, reading her came more and more easily. She pulled her lip between her teeth, inhaling deeply.

"Are you sleepy?"

"No. It's just been a really long day."

"Why don't you rest now. I won't leave you. You can sleep." I began to hum her lullaby deep in my throat as I pulled and tucked the blanket in around her again. She snuggled against my side, her arm flung across my chest. She was so small and fragile, my little baby, but all woman at the same time. I stroked her hair, drinking in her scent and thinking about all the many things she meant to me. It was more than simple lust, or need, or desire. It was her. It was who she was. It was who I was when I was with her.

She shifted her weight, pulling me closer and gently smacking her lips. Her breathing was slow and regular, and I knew she was asleep.

Her sleeping form still held me in strange fascination. As she slept, she was lost to me; I could not hear her mind, and until she spoke, only her scent, the rhythm of her breathing, and her pulsing heartbeat gave me notice of her presence. Tonight, her body was still and she was quiet. It was unnerving.

I watched the soft susurrations of her breath moving in and out, trying to find some peace from the crimson specter that haunted our trysts. The nightmare had to be of my creation – nothing so vile and violent could be attributed to the sweet lamb slumbering beside me. Her arm, warm and possessive, was flung across my chest, as if her need for me dominated her subconscious. I slid carefully down, bringing my face within inches of hers. She was breakable beauty, bewitching even in sleep. I studied her face, her translucence of her skin, the delicate folds of her eyelids. I tried to find reason why this beautiful, intelligent, fragile human woman would love such a monster as I. No answer came, and time became lost; the steady beating of her heart and the gentle breeze of her respirations sang to me in company.

"Edward," she sighed softly. I held my breath, waiting for her to continue. "Omsnooucm." It didn't make sense, no matter how I turned it over in my head.

"Bella," I breathed. "Tell me again, love."

"Emwarr," she muttered again, drawing her hand from me to rest below her chin. Her mouth formed a perfect, pale moue, and the v between her brows appeared. "Ah no whay." She pulled away from me, into a tighter, smaller ball of a girl as I watched. "I know why."

"Why what, Bella?" I couldn't breathe for fear of disrupting this gossamer thread of conversation. What was the secret Bella possessed? I was fascinated and intrigued, breathless for her to continue.

"Sounds. The… Thinkin' you hear 'em… Me too." She was balled up now, completely fetal, as if drawing herself into a more concentrated, resistant shell. What were the sounds that plagued her in the night? What conundrum was her mind trying to unfold?

I slid off the bed, crouching, rapt, watching, hoping to keep her talking. "What do they say, Bella?"

"No. Blud sred. Mmm."

"Blood's red?"

She was quiet for a few moments, and my anxiety blossomed. Though many nights I'd waited patiently for Bella's somniloquy to run its course, tonight's dreams held the promise of a key, an answer to an enigma. She pulled tighter once more, and I held my breath. "Sist blood sred. No. Blood. Zoffer."

What was blood red? And what did 'zoffer' mean? "Bella? Bell-lah," I sing-songed her name softly, weaving an invitation for her to follow my thread. "Bell-lah, tell me about the zoffer blood red. Where is it? Where do you see it, sweetheart?"

"No um, don' see it. You," she mumbled as the v of her brow grew deeper. "Mm, soffer. Touch me soffer."

"Touch you softer, Bella?"

"Mmm." Her face relaxed from a grimace into a childlike, easy smile.. The transformation was so sudden and so complete, I was immediately confused. A small snore sounded from her throat as she fell into deeper sleep, and her body relaxed and unfurled, pulling the sheets and blankets around herself against the cold.'

I stared at her wide-eyed. Her entire being unwound, loosened, as if in satisfaction that her message had been communicated completely. My own brow furrowed as I considered her words. Touch her softer? I could barely touch her now, as delicate and fragile as she was, yet I could not resist touching her either. She beckoned to me like a siren's call, requiring my touch. Had I hurt her? Had all this experimentation put her through some pain that she could not speak to me in waking, but could only escape through her subconscious? Or was I simply too rough with her frail, tender human body? So many times, I'd wanted to plunge my cock deeply into her soft wetness, to grind my hips against her, but held back out of fear of pain. She had relaxed when I repeated 'touch you softer' – the magic phrase that released her from her midnight confession. Had my calculations of the pressure and depth of our lovemaking been wrong?

And what was blood red? Blood was red – and the obvious answer. Bella had never worried that I might not resist the draw of her blood. She was sure of my inability to consume her; her faith was steadfast and sure, even when I was not. On the night of our private wedding, when the sweet aroma of her broken innocence had filled the room, she had called the human in me back to her with that same delicious fragrance, trusting that she would not be harmed. Why was this a concern now?

And where was the red blood? She had said you don't see it. This small key turned over in my mind, trying to understand its significance. Surely she was not referring to the blood that painted her skin when her passion overtook her, and my passion drew no blood. Over our time together, the want of her blood had subsided dramatically, replaced with the burning desire for her skin, her taste, the soft texture of her most intimate curves… I thought back, remembering our lovemaking since my return. Blood play had never crossed my mind, never danced on the edges of my mind. My desire for her was as a woman, an equal, a partner – never as a temptation or food source. _You don't see it. _Wait. She didn't say 'you don't see it'. She said 'no, um, don't see it.' Could she have meant _she _didn't see it? Could it be a reference to the scarlet veil that descended and possessed me when we made love?

My mind reeled. Did my sweet love work out the answer to these spells in her sleep? I wanted to shake her awake, ask her, find the answer, find the key, but I knew well the nature of dreams; they didn't work in that fashion. She would be startled and frightened, made wary by the awakening and the wild panic I felt now surely plain on my face. She wouldn't remember anything she'd said. I desperately wanted her to speak again, to make sense of it all, to give it framework and structure and unravel the puzzle she presented, and save us both from whatever effects these episodes would bring.

I pulled myself from my crouch, and returned to the bed. She lay immobile, relaxed, unaware in repose. She had given me so much to consider. I stared into space, turning the words over in my head, examining from every angle and facet like gems. Her hair fell gently across her face, and I raised my hand to brush her hair from her cheek. She stirred, reaching for me, pulling herself closer to my side, and I was seized by the tenderness of the movement. I gathered her into my arms, swooning at the tender, needy tug, and thanked the powers that be, for surely this small gesture by my cherished beloved would break my crystal heart had it not stopped beating nearly a hundred years ago.

~oO0Oo~

"Mmm," she hummed as she blinked and struggled to sit up. "Good morning, Edward."

"Hello, love. Did you sleep well?"

"I think I did," she said, pulling her hair to one side, unwittingly exposing a great expanse of skin. "You could probably say better – did I talk?"

I raised one eyebrow and let a smile creep onto my face.

"Oh no, what did I say?"

"What do you remember?"

She groaned. "It's bad, isn't it. I said something really stupid."

"Actually, you gave me quite a lot to consider, and it caused me to wonder what dreams moved you to speak."

"What did I say?"

"You said you knew why."

"Why what?"

"I was hoping, perhaps you remembered."

Her hands slid through the hair at her temples, combing the strands with her fingers, as if to pull the lost vision forward. Reflexively, she bit her lip. "I can't remember much, really, but I do remember standing beneath a bright yellow sun. I was warm, but a cool breeze was blowing, and I was really comfortable. Then a big bird flew overhead and I was thrown into a dark red shadow, and I knew…" Her voice trailed off, her eyes becoming unfocused as the tableau appeared before her. "I knew something was wrong, I needed to do something."

I sat motionless, letting the memory roll out as far as it would go. "I needed to move, to push forward, to make my arms and legs do something, but I couldn't. The bird flew all around my head, and the wings flapping were—, " she shuddered, shaking her head. Her hair shivered down across her face in waves. I pulled her closer.

"Are you all right?"

She leaned against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist. "Yeah, I'm okay. It was just strange and scary. The wings sounded like people talking, fading in and out. I couldn't really make it out." She looked up at me through her lashes. "Does that mean anything to you?"

My lips brushed her forehead. "No, not actually." My brows were knit in frustration. I was certain the images she could recall would bring clarity to the true meaning of her words, but they simply described her dream. Perhaps I was wrong; perhaps her dream-talking was simply that, the confused ramblings of the dreamer, the vivid images inciting speech. During the night, the meaning had seemed larger, more important, nearly tangible. Now, in the wakefulness of morning, all meaning evaporated into the cool air of dawn.

"What is it, Edward?"

"Nothing, love." I smiled, forcing myself to let the brooding, analytical disposition drop away. "Nothing at all."

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><p><em><strong>Please leave reviews and let me know what you're thinking.<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11: Prey

_**A/N: Lately, I feel as if I'm always apologizing – apologizing for being late, absent, wordy, sick. I will spare you that this time, and tell you what is going on. **_

_**Within the last thirty days, I've twice been at death's door, taken to the hospital by paramedics. It's difficult to explain, but it's something I live with, something that stays lurking in the background. If it weren't for my loving mister, I would not be here today and would never have finished this chapter. Additionally, my mother was recently diagnosed with cancer and we are working to get her treated and well. Add the flu to all of this and you'll see it's been a trying year so far. I'm praying this is behind us for a while.**_

_**Because of all this, I am dedicating this chapter (and so much more) to my husband. God graced me with a man I can only hope to deserve one day. Thank you, sweetheart, for every cup of coffee, every soft word spoken, and every other word unspoken that could have or perhaps should have been. I love you.**_

_**As always, my gratitude goes to my awesome beta, Mr. Bigg. You know all the words. **_

**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**

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><p><em><strong>Recap of Chapter 10, Shadows<strong>: After Carlisle collects a sample of Edward's cells from Bella, Edward takes Bella to bed. Bella falls into a restless sleep and speaks, apparently trying to reveal why Edward is having problems. Edward tries to engage her in dialog to bring her thoughts out, but her statements don't make sense or add up to anything. When she wakes, she tells Edward of her dream, where a bird flapped around her head and she felt compelled to act. Neither one of them can figure out the meaning. _

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><p>"What's for breakfast?" Bella stretched as she got out of bed, a little kitten preparing for the day.<p>

"How about a bialy and coffee?"

"Wow, that's pretty fancy for Stony Man Peak, isn't it?"

"Nothing but the best for my girl," I said, pulling her into my arms. She purred, motivating me to place a kiss on her nose. "Let's go before I get other ideas, shall we?"

She nuzzled her nose into my chest, and pulled herself closer to me for a moment. She seemed poised to argue, not wanting to move, then suddenly changed her mind, "Okay," she agreed in acquiescence.

We walked into the main room, already awash with activity. Everyone had their own agenda, keeping their hands busy while their minds raced. It seemed my day with Bella had been the topic of conversation before we'd entered, and everyone was anxious to give their opinion. I shook my head in a small motion, trying to determine who to listen to first.

_We need to talk about the samples,_ Carlisle thought. _They're still inconclusive, but they're extremely interesting._ I glanced up at him at the back of the room by Esme, folding towels. _Do you want Bella in on the conversation?_ I gave him a short nod, trying not to alarm Bella. He read the nod, picked up the towels, and exited the grand room.

"Hey, Alice," Bella said, crossing the room to the kitchen area. Alice stood with her back to me, arranging the bialy with some fresh-cut fruit for Bella's breakfast. "You don't have to do that."

Alice looked at Bella and smiled. "It's my pleasure, Bella. I like making your food pretty." _Take Bella out to see the waterfall today,_ Alice thought. _After you talk with Carlisle. Jasper and I will meet you there later. _

"All right, Alice. Let Bella eat." Alice acknowledged my answer, handing Bella the plate.

A wave of placidity washed silently over the room. _I thought it might help before you talk about the samples. Bella's feeling a bit anxious,_ Jasper thought, blinking slowly as he watched my expression. I returned the slow blink in response, a thank you.

Bella moved to the breakfast bar and pulled out a seat. I walked to the kitchen and poured her coffee. "You don't have to do that, Edward. I can get it," she said, turning to the room. "You guys don't need to treat me special.

"Bella, we like to do things for you," Esme said. Rosalie rolled her eyes, her thoughts much less generous.

"Besides," I said, pushing the coffee towards her, "We like the smell of coffee. The taste is something else again, but the smell is pleasant enough." She looked up at me through her lashes, and I smiled. "Eat, then we'll talk to Carlisle."

~oO0Oo~

I knocked at the door, Bella at my side. "Come in," Carlisle called from behind his desk.

Bella looked up at me, worry creasing her brow. "It's all right, love." We entered the room together, my arm around her shoulder. Carlisle looked up from his desk, a practiced expression of authority. His impression of us together was endearing and tender, seeing as a unit, a solid branch of his family, one he held with love.

"I'm glad you're here," he started, motioning Bella to sit. "Of course, the results are quite preliminary, but there are some interesting developments. I was hoping to get some information from you to fill in the gaps."

"What developments?" I asked. Bella reached for my hand.

"I've examined the two samples. On the surface, they seem much the same, but the difference lies microscopically. He motioned to his desk where his old, ornate microscope stood. I'd wondered where he'd kept this relic from his time with the Volturi. This was his first piece of medical equipment, the very thing that had flagged his earliest interests in medicine, and I knew he could never let it go.

"The first sample seems normal enough, until you compare it to the second, the one we took from Bella yesterday," Carlisle said, dipping his eye to the microscope. His thoughts gave away his compassion: Bella cheeks blazed with embarrassment, and Carlisle was giving her a moment of privacy to compose herself. "In the second sample, the cells are, for lack of a better word… exploded. The cellular wall has been disrupted, destroyed." He pulled his eye away and squinted to me. "Would you like to see for yourself?"

"That's not necessary." I had watched as he had looked into the microscope, and the picture was as clear for me as he had seen it himself. He was puzzled, mentally suggesting scenarios that may have contributed to the differences, but there were no pieces that fit. I didn't want to frighten Bella, who was watching my face intently.

"I can't identify any significant differences, other than the collection method." I was baffled, too. "That should make no difference."

"No, it shouldn't," he said flatly. "Bella?"

She swallowed loudly. "Only that once, we didn't… uh, finish, and the second time we did," her skin flamed with humiliation, pulsing up her chest and neck and engulfing her again. "Is Edward in danger?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Carlisle reassured. "His tissues still maintain their structure, so for now, I believe he's all right." _But not knowing the cause makes me worry, son. I have no idea when you will be in danger, or what this all means._

"Will we know more once we're home?" I slid my hand beneath Bella's elbow, trying to divert her worry.

"Of course," Carlisle replied brightly. "Go on and have your fun today. Don't give this another thought."

~oO0Oo~

"Edward, can I ask you a question?" Bella bit her lip, looking down at the grass.

"Anything," I said, cocking my head to one side. We'd been laughing and jovial one moment, and suddenly she was pensive. What had changed her mood so completely?

"I know you existed for a long time before you met me," she started, seeming unsure of herself. She wouldn't look up or engage me, making her words more pronounced and frightening. "Didn't you ever, like, wonder? Or want someone? Or wonder if you would always be… alone?"

"There were times, yes. But they were fleeting. It wasn't as if I passed each day lonely or pining," I explained. "I had other interests that kept me busy."

"I know, you learned languages and the piano – you've told me that," she said, glancing up quickly and lowering her gaze again. "Didn't you ever _question_ why you were alive? I mean, I've only lived eighteen years, and I've had lots of times when I couldn't figure why I was here, or how I'd make it through the next day without… someone, you know, someone to confide in." She pulled the grass, loosening a few blades from their earthly tether. "I mean, I got along and all, I wasn't really lonely, and I didn't spend a lot of time like worrying about it, but still," she looked up, catching my eyes and holding my glance. "I questioned why I was alive. Did you?"

I broke the gaze and looked off into the woods across the river. I knew I would answer, knew I would tell her anything she wanted to know, but I didn't want her to pity me. "I questioned my being, certainly. As you say, I wasted little time in sorrow or self-pity, but given my extended existence, it would be only natural to question the purpose of it all."

She watched with silent fascination. "During the time I broke away from Carlisle, I thought I'd found purpose. I could see no alternative that made sense, no reasons to justify a body of stone and a still heart. Perhaps I'd been given these things so that I'd be unyielding in my resolve, and if my resolve was for the greater good, then prolonging my existence in the process couldn't be wrong. As time passed, I came to realize that this was simple self-rationalization, justifying my means by the end result.

"I came back to Carlisle because it was the only time in this new existence that I'd known peace. He is a giving father, a patient man, and a better friend. We spent our time traversing the globe, making some investments, wandering. Carlisle felt I would have more connection to the world if I knew more of it, and he was right. We walked across Europe posing as hikers, studying life in rural towns, staying out of the public eye. We didn't have Alice's foresight then, so we traveled most during the cover of night.

"It was a slow process for song to find me. I'd hear a melody from a home or church, or pick up a phrase from someone's thoughts… Soon, I'd hum the notes as they came to me in my head. Carlisle asked me about it one day as we crossed the Alps, and I shrugged it off as nothing, just a tune in my head. He pointed out to me that each song had been different, unique, complete – and something not everyone did.

"For a time, music filled the void of purpose in my days, and I allowed it to possess me fully, to own me, if you will. I thought perhaps this could be my purpose. The pieces I composed during this time were complex and long, with snippets of melody woven into larger tonalities. It was an attempt to describe my world, but only that. I could never share it with the world at large, never mark my place among the living. And I found I was never only the music, just as I was never only the hunter, the poet, the linguist. All these things were meaningless.

"Until I found you," I returned my gaze to her eyes, lifting my hand to stroke her cheek. "Until you entered my world, all efforts, all achievement fell short of the glory of life. Placeholders, markers, but never a life."

Her eyes closed slowly, her head tilted down. A tear formed at the corner of one eye, her face a concentrated mask of tender sorrow. Leaning forward, I lifted her chin and brushed my lips across her eyelid, catching her salty essence with my tongue. I pulled back, smoothing my fingers over where I'd just kissed. "Bella, why do you ask? Why now?"

She shook her head, biting her lip. Her long tresses fell across cheek like a curtain, obscuring my view of her.

"Bella?" I spoke as gently as I could, caressing her with my voice, and lifting her hair away from her face. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"It's just," she paused, her brow creasing as she struggled to find the words. "It's just that I see the struggle you go through to be with me, Edward, and I hate to see it torment you so. And now, we have to wait to find out – whatever – whatever Carlisle finds, then decide how to fix it and what to do… I guess I just needed to hear again that this was all worth it for you."

I stared at her with incredulity. She looked up after a moment, and held my gaze. "Bella, I'm not sure where to begin. Worth it? You are so much more than I deserve. If you knew the depths of iniquity within me… Being with you, loving you, marrying you – these were the best decisions of my entire existence. Can't you see that every good thing in my life begins and ends with you?"

She smiled broadly, the first time I had seen that smile since we'd spoken with Carlisle. I felt myself swell with love and longing for my sweetest love, and reached for her, pulling her into my lap just as Jasper and Alice walked out of the trees.

"It's so pretty here, isn't it?" Alice's high-trilling voice gave the air the counterpoint to the birdsong. "Have you ever really looked around this place, Edward?"

"I've wandered, yes. The untouched areas are beautiful," I said, wondering where Alice was going. She blocked her thoughts, focusing on a future concerning Jasper and a visit to a sunny city, someplace in the very distant future. "What's going on, Alice?"

"That's for me to know, and you two to find out," she chimed. "I'd start over there, if I were you." She pointed toward the waterfall, her thoughts slipping a tiny bit, and the path leading behind the waterfall was revealed. I opened my mouth to chide her, and she cut me off. "There's no reason to gloat, Edward. Just get on with it." As she turned away, she picked up Jasper's hand and said, "Have you ever wondered what Barbados is like?"

I led Bella down the misty path that led behind the waterfall. The scents were confounded by the constant tumult and spray of the water, a natural rinsing obscuring the time frame of the visitors. Animals of all different stripe had used the path, but it had no discernible human scents, and hadn't for quite some time.

"Careful, here, Bella," I shouted, wrapping my arm around her waist. As if in response, she slipped and clung closer to me. Her hair hung in damp ringlets, another wet Botticelli in the pounding spray. I shifted her weight into my arm, scooping her on to my back and walking unhurriedly forward. Her breathing was close, her chest warm against me.

"It's so loud," she whispered, not expecting I would hear. I smiled to myself, agreeing, captivated by her wonder. I was eager to show her the tableau that Alice had allowed me to briefly glimpse; I was certain she'd seen nothing like it. In concert with my eagerness, the wet path turned in, taking us behind the falls.

I turned, still holding her on my back, to look at the cascading water sheeting past. Translucent, powerful, and magnificent, the water sped downward as we watched. Bella leaned over my shoulder, her face awash with childlike awe, and my arms tightened as she bent. She pushed her fingertips in the roaring rain, then brought them to her lips, smiling. I smiled in return.

The brightness of the day through the clear tumult of water cast the cave into dancing light. I walked to the sandy center and set Bella down. She slid down my back, and I sighed, a momentary mourning for the loss of her heated skin against mine. We sunk to the ground, sitting side by side, watching the beauty before us. Several minutes passed, the changing tableau mesmerizing, hypnotizing us into a quiet trance.

Bella rolled over, pushing me onto my back, her lips at my ear. "I know you can hear me." She pulled back, searching my eyes. I nodded. She returned to my ear. "Are we safe here? I mean, do people come here? Has anyone been here lately?"

Once again, she watched for my reaction. I gently shook my head no, trying to understand where she was going with this. "Would you do something for me? Something you wouldn't do for anyone else? I will never tell." Her eyes were full of a silent plea. I nodded, and once again she bent to my ear.

"Take off your clothes, and," she hesitated, and though I couldn't see her face, the heat of her blush rushed across my chest. "Take off your clothes and stalk me like you would your prey. I just want to see you move – all of you." She leaned back up, and watching me, her teeth unsurprisingly biting into her lip. I raised my hand to her chin, gently tugging the skin from between her teeth as I considered her request. She had never seemed interested in my vampiric nature, quite the contrary, so the request was curious, befuddling. Not outrageous, no, but simply odd.

She seemed to misread my thoughts, leaning back down to my ear again. "I'm sorry. I just thought it would be, uh, interesting to see your body move, here, where no one else can see, with your muscles fully… Just kind of… hot, and personal, only for me." Her brows knit together and suddenly, she jerked away, pulling herself to the side. "Never mind." She sat watching the water, her arms around her knees, half her face buried in embarrassment.

My wife wanted to see my body. Hm. That was a request I could fulfill. I sat up slowly, pulling her face into my palm. I mouthed the words, _You are my wife now,_ knowing she'd never hear them. I held her gaze a few moments, then rose to my feet, pulling off my shirt. Her face was solemn and alert, her eyes never leaving mine. "You don't have to," she said softly. I raised my index finger to my lip, holding her gaze as I kicked off my shoes, and unbuttoned my pants. I slid them down my legs slowly, taking my boxers with them, letting the clothes fall into a soft pile beside her.

I turned my back to her and walked away with purpose to the edge of the cave. I let my muscles bunch and release, giving my wife the show she'd requested, as if tensing for a hunt. When I reached the path, I turned around, my back to the water, letting her see me fully naked, fully aroused. Her request had tantalized me, and now it was my turn to tantalize her. I leaned back, letting the fall of the water wet my hair, raising my arms to slick it down. The water ran in small rivulets across the planes of my chest and abdomen. The icy chill of the water tightened my nipples. Bella's mouth dropped open.

I crouched, my body tense and tight. My erection hung heavy between my legs, and I could feel her gaze taking me in. I let the discomfort of embarrassment pass away; I felt erotic and desired, moving for my wife, letting her sexual fantasy play out in this safe location. My long legs stretched out, showing off for her as I slowly stalked forward to where she sat. My hair fell forward as I moved over her, pushing her flat to the ground with my naked presence and without touch. I leaned in and growled loudly in her ear, so that even if she could not hear it, then rumble in my chest would be detectable.

"Oh God," she gasped, her hands still at her sides. Her attention had fully awakened my libido, and in that moment, I knew I wanted her more savagely than ever before. She trembled below me as I sniffed her hair, her mouth, her breath. She moved to bring her lips to mine, and I leaned away, denying her the touch. She would receive the full experience without the threat; I was enjoying the game of wife as prey.

Carefully, I hovered down her body, pulling off the buttons of her shirt with my teeth. Her hands rose to touch me, and I restrained her. Her breath was fast and shallow, but her expression showed no fear. She was excited, and this excited me. I cautiously undid her fly with my teeth, nuzzling my nose into her soft, downy hair. She didn't struggle, but lifted her head to watch me. I raised one eyebrow and smiled crookedly at her, then rolled my tongue across my teeth and sunk it into her hot sex. She cried out.

I was on fire. Bella's taste was indescribable, sweet and musky, all sex and wanting. My body responded to her perfume, and I felt something stir deep within me – need and want and lust and longing and _restraint. _It popped into my mind immediately in tandem response to my other physical reactions, and I felt the links fall into place. _Of course, restraint. _I pulled my head up to tell Bella, to let her understand the secret as it had finally revealed itself to me.

Bella's head was tipped back, away from me, her body tense and ready for me. Her breasts heaved in heavy pants as she waited for the next touch of my tongue. I could not stop now, it would be unthinkable, or more precisely, inhuman. The moments ticked on, and she raised her head. I gave her a wicked smile, lowering my mouth over her sex. My discovery could wait – and I began to devour the feast before me.


	12. Chapter 12: Falling

_**A/N: Thank you to all my readers, but especially those who've left messages and reviews. Have I told you recently how much I love that? It's my pipeline to you all out there, and proof enough for me to keep going. **_

_**Those of you that have sent wishes for improved health for both me and my mother, thank you with all my heart. Nurserosie, flutterfli, CentauRita and Mel83 - you have given me such hope and encouragement, there aren't enough words to thank you. Big kisses and hugs! I know I'm missing many, but please know that you words gave me hope, and accept my thanks nonetheless.**_

_**I have a special thank you going out to Camilla10 whose kind offer to help with all things Italian was a very welcome present. Thank you. **_

_**And lastly, where would I be without my long-suffering beta, Mr. Bigg? (I can tell you where: I'd be stuck trying to figure out the problems with tense is where!) Thank you, sir. As you know, you totally rock. **_

**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.**

_**Recap of Chapter 11, Prey**: At Alice's urging, Bella and Edward go exploring and find a cave behind a waterfall. Bella asks Edward to show her his body and how he moves when he is stalking prey. Edward complies, and moves over her body. As he recognizes the flood of emotions washing over him, he realizes that the emotions are mixed with restraint, and comes to the realization this may be what is causing the strange effects on his body. _

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><p><strong>Falling<strong>

"Gah, Edward! That was so… so…," she broke off, sighing and gasping. "Honestly, are you sure you never had sex before me?"

I smiled and shook my head. I leaned in and spoke into her ear so she could hear me over the thunderous water. "No, love, my body has only ever been yours. But given the way things work," I said, looking into her eyes and tapping my temple, "I hear a lot about what men do and what women like."

Bella sat up, leaning forward to kiss me. "I love you," she said, pulling back to look in my eyes. "You know that, right?"

I inhaled her scent through my mouth, savoring her delectable perfume and nodded, never breaking her gaze. I brought my hands to her cheeks, gently smoothing my thumbs across her skin. I leaned in, my lips brushing against hers, a kiss of agreement.

"You smell like me."

"Oh," I mouthed, chagrined. I stood immediately, taking a step back toward the waterfall.

"No, wait," she replied lightly, scrambling to her feet. She approached me lazily, wrapping her arms around my waist as I mirrored the action around her. "I like it. Are we a sight, or what? Two horny teenagers, naked in cave."

I lifted her chin with my finger, and inclined my mouth toward her ear. "Good thing no one's watching."

"Right," she said, leaning back away from me. Her expression changed; her eyes were wide and searching. "Do you think Alice… saw?" Her lip pulled between her teeth, a signature Bella move done in reflex to her anxiety.

I shrugged, and bent to her ear again. "Alice takes great pains to keep x-rated visions to herself," I replied, chuckling a little. "We've not really discussed it at great length. Some of her voyeuristic traits can feed her own libido." I pulled back, gauging her expression, which was pinched and worried. "That's not so bad," I said, drawing up to my full height and catching her hand as I walked toward the falls.

She pulled away from me, her back to the thundering tumult behind her. "Not so bad? How am I supposed to look her in the eye?" Her face blazed red, embarrassment seizing her tongue as she pulled her hand out of mine. "I guess I always knew, but I didn't…" Her hands raked through her hair as she came to a realization. "And Jasper…" She blanched. "She probably told Jasper, too, didn't she?" I shook my head slowly, but Bella's would have none of it. Her hands came down and smacked her bare thighs, exasperation clear in her expression. She wheeled to face me, taking a step back and gesticulating with her arms and hands. "How am I supposed to –"

Her voice cut off mind sentence as her arm flung out across the air and sliced into the falls. The pressure of the falling water jerked her off her feet, swallowing her in the cold cascade, and she disappeared. It all happened so instantaneously, so quietly, that it took the blink of an eye for my reaction to kick in. I leapt across the cave, diving into the tumbling chute after Bella.

The twist and turbulence of the water pushed me forward to her flailing body. Her eyes were closed, her cheeks puffed out as she tried to hold her breath. I lassoed her into my arms, then freed one hand to pinch her mouth. Cupping my mouth over hers, I pressed the last of my breath into her mouth. Gravity pulled us through the boiling pool at the end of the falls, and I kicked and pulled Bella to the shallow water, breaking the surface.

"Bella, Bella! Are you all right?" The panic in my voice raised the question to a shout. I held her in my arms, speaking before she had a chance to respond. She sputtered and coughed, dragging air into her lungs, and her eyes fluttered open and found mine. All I could think was, '_She's alive, thank God, she's alive!_'

"Edward, thank you," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Help me stand up."

I pulled her to her feet, unwilling to let her go. Her warmth was draining away, and her teeth began to chatter with the cold. I scooped her up into my arms, slogging through the water to the banks of the pool. Setting her down on a rock at the shore, I pulled away from her. The frigidness of my skin was doing nothing to help her warm.

She huddled and shook on the shore, wrapping her arms around her body. Her hair hung over her face, but she didn't seem to care. I wished warm blood coursed through my veins, so that my embrace would save her the shivers that wracked her body. I peered up at the sun pouring through the trees. "There's no one around for miles, Bella, if you want to stretch into the sun."

She glanced over to where I stood in the water, her lips dark and bluish with the cold. "Y-y-y-you sh-sh-sh-sure?"

"Yes. And I'll go get your clothes as soon as I'm sure you're okay."

"Oh k-k-k-kay," she managed to choke out, and stood to stretch into the midday sun.

I watched Bella stretch in the sun, her naked body glistening and wet. Her skin was covered in goose bumps, her nipples pert, tight, and hard. She looked like a goddess, worshipping the sun, and I had no alternative but to worship her. My tongue rolled out across my lip, trying desperately to control the desire that swept over me as I watched her.

Little rivulets trailed from her hair down her abdomen, vanishing between her legs as she stretched her arms to the sky. "Mmm, that f-f-feels so g-good," she stuttered, pulling her hands through her hair, away from her face. Head back, eyes closed, naked, exultant – she was beauty and womanhood incarnate, teasing me. I longed to touch her, to run my hands down the trail of rivulets and sink my stiff member into her soft folds from behind. My body was rigid with desire, and though I stood waist deep in the cold water, the head of my cock broke the surface of the water.

She spun slowly to face me, her hands still buried in her hair at the temples. From where I stood below her, I could see the soft pinkness of her sex blossoming between her legs. The blue tint of her mouth had faded, the lips of her mouth rose-petal rose, matching the blush of her nipples. The air around her drew in, a vermillion transparency laid over the scene. The entire spectacle that was my Bella stimulated my lust and need and heightened the crimson color; I immediately froze in place as she opened her eyes.

"Edward?" Her voice sang through my skin, silken and soft though questioning. "Edward, you okay?"

I noticed the change in her tenor as pain lanced through my shoulders. A sharp inhalation shot agony through my lungs, making me cough and wheeze. I stooped, bending, unable to stand upright, unable to get my wind. My arms were heavy as lead, and the skin on my face felt loose as I bent forward. My hair fell across my eyes.

"Edward!" her shriek was harsh and yet somehow, seemed very far away. I heard voices I knew, . _We have to go now, Jazz! _And then, _What's happening, Alice – tell me what's going on! _I heard the sounds of their voices, not their minds. And there were voices I didn't know - hikers, families, and park rangers - talking in normal voices to each other, their thoughts scattered around the conversations. The red haze began to recede, and weariness and discomfort gripped me. It all felt very taxing and confusing, and I raised my hand to cup the stabbing pain above my left eye.

Then I saw it. The violent crimson curtain bled away, leaving the world around me hazy and indistinct. I was drawn to the surface of the water, where my reflection peered back strangely. The ripples distorted the picture, but the picture itself was unbelievable. An old man, bent with age, sagging skin and golden eyes stared up at me from the watery reflection. My mouth dropped open in surprise, my hand rose to touch my face, and the image in the water mimicked my action. _Was that me?_ The ancient man had my color of reddish bronze hair, my brows, and my general physiognomy, but he was obviously approaching a hundred years old – or older. As my fingers curled around my chin, I could feel the sag and wrinkle of my skin. The lines were soft and deep, not the alabaster I'd known for the last century. As I leaned closer to the reflection, I could see my eyes begin to cloud and fade just as the image in the water clouded and hid in blurriness.

The surface of the water broke in disruption, and my view of the elderly man shattered into a million shiny, meaningless undulating waves. My hand reached toward the water as if to revive the image somehow, and I saw my knuckles were gnarled and puckering in the water. Some dim and undecipherable sound came towards me, but I felt lost, trapped within my own body and helpless to withstand the force of the water and noise. I raised my hand to my eyes, trying to make out the texture of my skin, when someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard.

Bella's hold on my shoulders seemed hard and excessive. "Edward! Edward! Snap out of it!" she screamed as she shook me. I tried to focus on her eyes. My teeth were jarred by the shaking, and I couldn't understand why she was so upset.

"Bella? Love?"

Her hands dropped as she staggered backwards in the freezing water, tripping and splashing. She wore a mask of terror and disbelief, but her eyes never left me. What could make her behave with such fear? She sat in the water, submerged and terrified, her mouth opening and closing, but no sound came forth.

"Edward!" Alice was on the rocks above us, Jasper at her shoulder. "Edward, you're all right! Jasper, go to the cave behind the waterfall – just follow this path – and get Bella and Edward's clothes. Hurry. We need to get them to Carlisle."

The water stilled again, the little waves reflecting my image back to me. I was myself again, whole, no sagging skin or puckered flesh. I held my hand in front of my face, and pulled my fingers into a fist. As quickly as it had come, the pain and cold and weariness had left me, and I was restored.

I looked down at my feet to where Bella sat dumbfounded. Alice was behind her, pulling her from the shallow floor, wrapping Bella in the overly long cardigan she'd worn. Bella didn't resist; her mouth still gaped open as she stared at me. Alice's hands rested on Bella's shoulders, tugging, trying to turn Bella toward her. Bella broke her open stare at me to look at Alice.

"Come out of the water, Bella. It's warmer up here in the sunlight." Alice was firm and insistent.

"Did you see that?" Her whisper was hushed and reverent. "He was old, his skin, his _eyes_…" Bella moved along with her, her steps shaky and faltering. Alice gripped her, keeping her upright.

"Yes, Bella, I saw. Edward needs to get back to the house. Here's Jasper with your clothes." She pushed Bella forward by the shoulders, toward the dry rocks as Jasper stretched to hand Alice the clothes. Bella was very still and quiet as Alice set her down, drying her and helping her to dress.

Jasper moved past Alice, handing me my clothes. "Brother, give me your hand," he said gently, and I felt the calm he was exuding drift around me in soft waves.

"Jasper, I'm all right now, I can manage," I said. He was unmoving, standing stock still before me. His thoughts were empty – a practiced empty. He was struggling with remaining calm, and I felt the unease creep into his mind. "Jazz, what is it," I asked just as his thoughts began to slip. He closed his eyes as I saw the glimpse of Bella naked roll around in his head. He was silently censuring himself, but the images burned.

"Edward, I'm sorry," he murmured, too low for Bella to hear. "I swear, I was trying not to look."

His sincerity was unmistakable. How could I blame him for something I'd been guilty of countless times? I tried not to hear their thoughts, see their mental pictures in all sorts of compromising positions, but on occasion, the task was impossible. "Jazz," I said softly, "I know."

Alice peered over Bella's shoulder at me. "You'd better get dressed, too, Edward. You're going to need to speak with Carlisle. Jasper and I will take care of packing for both of you."

~o0O0o~

"So, he changed right before you?" Carlisle's question echoed the perplexity of his thoughts,

"Yes," Bella replied softly, looking down at her hands. "I thought it only happened when we had sex." Her lashes fluttered as she sought out my eyes and held my gaze.

"It's the restraint, Bella," I said, stooping to squat in front of her. "I knew in the cave, but I didn't have the opportunity to tell you." I stood up and turned to Carlisle. "The more intense my feelings for Bella, the more restraint I must exercise. It's the restraint that seems to bring on the changes – the red haze and the physical anomalies.

"After the fall, Bella was standing in the sunlight trying to get warm. The line of sight from my vantage was…" I swallowed. Bella's tension filled the study, and I had no desire to exacerbate her discomfort. "Provocative. My body responded before I actually understood what was happening."

"And you experienced pain, Edward?"

"Yes, particularly through my neck and shoulders, but discomfort was everywhere."

"I see," Carlisle said as he pulled his arm across his chest, and tugged at lip. He began a slow pace, back and forth and back again, as his thoughts sifted through the information we'd provided. "I think you're right, Edward. The effect of your emotions through restraint is changing the physical structure of the venom. Each time, it's reverted – so far – but I think we need to get home where we can study this more fully. Are you pack –"

A brisk little knock rapped three times at the door before Alice stuck in her head. "Everybody's packed and ready, and the house has been secured." She glanced at Bella and grinned, trying to reassure her with smiles and lightheartedness. "We're just waiting on you three. I know how you enjoy a good problem to solve, but we'd better get a move on. We'll be off the mountain by twilight."

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><p><em><strong>Please leave a note and tell me what you think!<strong> _


	13. Chapter 13: Broken

_**A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful readers. Honestly, I wish you knew how much your comments and reviews keep me going! You are the bestest – thank you! And of course, a huge shout out to Mr. Bigg, beta and editor extraordinaire. Thank you so much. **_

**Broken**

"Oh God, Bella, no," I breathed. I couldn't… I wouldn't.. It could not be. "Bella, no."

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><p>I took Bella down the mountainside in my arms. It would have been faster to run with her on my back, but I couldn't tolerate the idea of her face hidden from me for that length of time. She tried to watch the trees as we flew by, but she invariably ducked her head into my neck whenever she felt I was too close to the trees. "Why don't you close your eyes?"<p>

She closed her eyes. "This is much better," she muttered, still stiff with tension and strain. I chuckled once under my breath at the comical pains she took to relax, her eyes fluttering to stay closed, her shoulders hunching now and then when the slap of the nearby brush threatened as we passed.

"Bella, you know I won't let anything hurt you," I said, nuzzling her ear. "Besides, we're almost there."

"We're back to the plane, already?" The sharp octave jump at the end of her sentence gave away her surprise.

"No, something else I wanted to show you." We rounded the corner of the deer path, and I slowed to a walk. "You can open you eyes."

We stood on a small, rocky protuberance looking out over the valley. Small lakes glinted in the dying afternoon light, and the greens glowed in the golden light.

"It's beautiful, Edward," she sighed, still in my arms.

"Beautiful," I replied, never taking my eyes from her awestruck face. "Come. There's something I want to show you." I set her on her feet, but did not release her. As much as I loved her, I would not trust her footing on this stony escarpment. "Careful, love." She watched her feet, slipping and skittering next to me until I brought us to a stop.

"Sit here, Bella," I offered, holding her hands as she moved to the small boulder that formed a natural seat. I stood before her, looking down at her fragile face. She glanced up at me through her lashes.

"What is it, Edward?" Her confusion wrinkled her brow.

"This," I said softly, and stepped to the side.

Her eyes lit on the outstretched branches of the tree that were just beginning to sprout with spring foliage. The tree stood alone, ashen branches stark against the bright blue of the open air, reaching out across the escarpment to the valley below, a unhindered monument to the persistence of life.

"Wow," she breathed.

"It's magnificent, isn't it?" She nodded wordlessly, moved to silence in its presence. "Bella, do you see the roots?"

I watched her eyes move down the branches, past the trunk to the roots that seemed to grow out of solid rock. I looked at the tree. "This tree has been here since the first time I was here. It was a small sapling then, and I've watched it grow and endure over time." Her eyes turned to my face, though I still faced the tree. "Even in this inhospitable world of stone and sky, it persisted."

I turned my eyes to hers. "Bella, this tree is my love for you. No matter the barrier, the storm, the barrenness of the rest of the world, my love will persist and grow in your love." I pulled the ring from my pocket. "In all ways that matter, you are my wife. Would you honor me by telling the world that you belong with me for all the rest of your days?"

Tears pooled in her eyes. As she let her lids fall, she said simply, "Yes." I felt light and free and my spirit rose to unimaginable heights. I picked her up in my arms, kissing her with love and adoration.

"We can do this, Bella. Together," I breathed in her ear. "And now you can tell Charlie."

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><p>The return flight was fraught with tension and anxiety. Bella sat quietly, lost in thought and unmoving. She had scarcely touched me on the flight home, frightened she would set off another incident.<p>

"Bella, I'm losing my mind. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm afraid of what will happen, Edward? What if you have another… spell, I guess. What if that happens and this time you don't turn back? We don't know what it could do! We don't – "

"Bella, calm down, we're _going_ to find out. We're on a plane; you're simply touching my hand. I think I can control myself here with my family surrounding us. There's no need to stress yourself further.""

Her anxiety was not allayed. "I'm not stressed. I'm fine. I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to you…," she trailed off, biting her lip and shaking her head. If her mannerisms hadn't contradicted her words, the tension in the muscles of her arm would belie her self-proclaimed calm.

"Let's think about what we'll do once we return home." She opened her mouth to protest, but I interjected, "Humor me." She closed her mouth, her chocolate eyes trained to my face. I leaned my head back against the seat. I dropped my voice to a softer, purring tone. "Let's see…"First, you'll see Charlie. That'll be nice – you can tell him about the beauty of the cabin and waterfall."

She gasped in a quick gulp, and I realized my error. "Perhaps you could leave out the waterfall bits." She nodded solemnly.

"And we've got school. Only a few more weeks of that and we're done." I began to rub little circles across the knuckles of the back of her hand, trying to soothe her without alerting her to that fact. "That's good, isn't it?"

She looked down and nodded, bringing her lip back between her lip again.

"And then there's the wedding. I have a feeling Alice has plans that will keep us very preoccupied for at least a few weeks." Alice's head popped up above the seat back before us, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"It's going to be the wedding of the year, Bella. I've got the dress ordered and – "

"Ordered? From where?" My efforts to relax Bella were completely thwarted in Alice's excitement. I shot a look at Alice, wishing she could read _my_ mind for once. She immediately tempered her tone.

"These things take time, Bella. I mean, how often do you get to marry for the second time?" She smiled sweetly, turning back around and sliding into her seat. _She's really stressed, Edward. _

_Do you need a little help, there, brother? _Jasper's mind offered the placidity I had hoped to provide Bella._ Kick my seat once for yes. _I crossed my legs, seeming to very casually kick the seat. Bella didn't notice – she studied my face as if her future were written there. Ever so slowly, a hushed breath of composure swept over Bella. Her small hand stilled and loosened in mine, and before long, she fell asleep. I whispered a thank you to Jasper, and settled next to my love. The warmth and smallness of her dainty grasp occupied my thoughts until we landed.

I dropped Bella at her house, giving her time to visit with Charlie and pass pleasantries with him about the trip. She seemed afraid to let me go, but we both knew she needed this time with Charlie to help him feel easier about the time she'd been away. She'd finally released my hand and unbuckled her seatbelt, making me promise I'd return that night, A promise was hardly needed. I couldn't stay away.

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><p>The night was deep when I came to Bella's window. She sat up in her bed, slowly rocking back and forth as I raised the sash. I was at her side in an instant.<p>

"Bella, what's wrong?" I pulled her into the circle of my embrace, gently tugging the quilt up around her protectively.

"Oh Edward," she moaned into my neck as she turned to lock me in her arms. "Bad dream. Really bad dream."

I pulled back to look at her. "Want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head, glancing up at me with an odd expression. Was it, guilt?

"Tell me what you're thinking, please. You need not tell me the dream itself."

"It's really silly, I know, but, it's just the future. It seems so unclear right now. What does Alice see?"

"Alice sees exactly what we talked about on the plane, love."

"But what does she see about you? Or about me? About you and me, together?"

I hesitated for a moment, weighing what I would say. On one hand, there was a risk of telling Bella too little, causing her to feel as if she'd been kept in the dark, shielded, not worthy of the truth. On the other, overloading Bella with all the possible futures wouldn't help her find peace either. I struggled with the right course of action for a millisecond.

"Alice sees Carlisle determining what's happening to my cells, so an answer of sorts. She sees you finishing high school, and some time later, becoming a vampire. She sees our public wedding. There's nothing extraordinary or worrisome in our immediate future." It wasn't a lie, it would all come to pass if Alice's visions were right. I simply omitted the struggles it would take to get to each of the milestones I mentioned.

Bella visibly relaxed and exhaled a long gush of air. "Okay."

"I wish you wouldn't worry, Bella. It's going to work out, I promise." I leaned in closely and kissed her hair. "Why don't you try to get some sleep, love?"

"You're probably right," she said, pulling the covers back and snuggling into bed. "I'm really glad you're here."

I tucked the blankets in around her tiny frame as I hummed the little lullaby I'd written for her. She closed her eyes and her breathing became deep. She turned toward me, flinging her arm across my chest, and was asleep.

I waited anxiously for Bella's somniloquy to begin, but she never stirred or spoke. Her body was still and motionless, save the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. More than once I nearly shook her awake just to allay my own distress at her coma-like slumber, but I forced myself stilland left her undisturbed, watching guard over her in the night.

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><p>"Good morning, Charlie," I said as he opened the door. "Is Bella ready?"<p>

His eyes, so like Bella's, seemed to look right through me. He didn't respond, and didn't welcome me into the house. His thoughts flashed to his conversation with Bella, the ring she now wore, and the discussion they'd had the night before. He wanted to ask me about the trip, about the wedding… about how far I'd gone with Bella. As his thoughts touched that topic, he simultaneously blanched and blushed. "Hello, Edward." He stood to one side, granting me access to the house, and yelled to Bella. "Your ride is here."

Upstairs, Bella hopped once, twice, finally pushing her foot into her shoe. She flung the door open and ran down the stairs, tripping and sliding. I began to speed to catch her, but she caught and righted herself just in the nick of time. "Hi," she rasped breathlessly.

"Will _you_ be careful?" Charlie's admonishment echoed my thoughts perfectly, saving the utterance from me. _Sheez!_ _She doesn't have to hurry – he's obviously not going anywhere. _I struggled to hide my smile; he didn't know how right he was.

"You ready to go?" I adjusted my stance, trying to look more like a bored teenager than a nerve-worn husband.

"Yeah. Bye, dad," Bella mumbled as she passed through the open door. I gave her my hand, guiding her down the steep steps of the house. As the door closed behind us, she took the first step, her foot slipping our from underneath her as she did. "Whoa!"

My arm was around her waist immediately, lifting her away from the steps altogether. I set her on her feet for Charlie's benefit as he decided to look out the window. "Charlie's watching," I said, still guiding her to the car. "What's going on with you today, Bella?"

"I don't know; I'm just… Well, I'm just me, Edward."

We reached the car, and I opened the door for her. "Wave to your dad," I whispered. She turned and looked at the house, waving when she caught Charlie's eyes.

She climbed in the car, and I half-jogged around to the driver's door. "What's bugging him?" she asked as I started the engine.

"He's just worried about you. Between the upcoming wedding and the slip on the stairs, he wonders how you're going to make it."

"Oh," she said softly. "He really doesn't have to worry. I'll be fine."

"I know. I was a little curious myself. Are you anxious about school?"

"Why?"

"You seem quite maladroit today, and that typically happens when you're worried or fearful."

She thought about this for a minute, looking straight ahead and biting her lip. "Not really, although I don't really want to go to gym today. I got my period," she said, blushing. "Of course, you already knew that."

I didn't respond; it didn't seem gentlemanly.

"But other than that, it should be okay. You?"

"No, I'm not worried in the least about _school_," I said, overemphasizing the last word. "I am, however, a bit concerned about _you_. And I'm waiting to hear from Carlisle. He was in the lab all night, testing the two samples. He should have notes sometime this morning." I pulled into the FHS parking lot. "Should I ditch Spanish and steal you away from gym?"

"No. I'll be okay." The roar of motorcycles flared behind us. Bella turned and smiled.

"Jake!" She turned back to me. "I haven't seen Jake in so long. Do you mind if I go talk to him?"

I hesitated. I hadn't told Bella of Jacob's imprint. It wasn't out of concern or fear, but the opportunity did not present itself. Jacob would rectify that; his thoughts contained a mixture of fear and eagerness that made his intentions obvious. And his mate was with him, with less generous but similarly anxious motives.

My phone rang, and I knew it must be Carlisle. "No, go see him. Be careful."

She leaned across the seat and kissed me enthusiastically. "I love you! See you in class!" She pushed the door open with her foot and tumbled out. "Jake!"

I slid the phone open. "Carlisle, what did you find?"

"Edward, you were right – it's the restraint that changes the cellular structure. When you're fully restraining yourself, the cells morph into something more like the structure of blood, which is why you're seeing the red veil. When you finally release – "

_Edward! Edward! Oh no, Bella, please, please be all right!_ Alice's shrill exclamations broke into my concentration. Panic and dread filled me instantly, and I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong.

I threw the phone aside, ripping the door open and running to where Bella had been talking with Jacob. The school bus driver stood in front of her vehicle, her face a mask of horror and incredulity. Bella was not in sight, but the smell of blood was in the air. Alice stood back from the crowd, her hand covering her mouth and nose, watching Jacob and Leah as they bent over a very still and lifeless body wearing Bella's boots.

Alice glanced up as I moved to Bella's side. _Edward, I'm sorry – I didn't see it until a second before. She just, just, fell backward as the bus came around the corner! There was no time! I just didn't see! And then the blood… I just didn't see!_

"Oh God, Bella, no," I breathed. I couldn't… I wouldn't.. It could not be. "Bella, no." I pushed aside the crowd that gathered at her side. "Call 911!'" I shouted as I bent over Bella, gently pulling her hair away from her bloody face.

"Alice already called," Jacob whispered. He was face was drawn and blanched, holding Bella's hand. "We shouldn't move her, should keep her still. No moving. That's right, isn't it?" His thoughts were disjointed and chaotic; he was going into shock.

"Leah, pull Jacob away," I said, checking Bella's pulse. Leah's hands were strong and sure as she worked Jacob's fingers away from Bella with hushed soothing tones and prodding. _It wasn't his fault, Edward, _she thought. _He was telling her about the imprinting, and she stumbled backward when she saw me. _She stared at me as I worked over Bella's unresponsive body. _Blame _me_ if you have to blame anyone. _

"I'm not blaming anyone. Where's the damn ambulance?" The words had only escaped my lips when the peal of the siren bled into the muffled noise of the background.

"Bella, Bella, baby please," I crooned, leaning down to her ear. "Love, please, please, be okay, tell yourself to be okay." I wasn't making sense and I knew it, but the words fell from my lips unbidden as I tenderly picked tiny bits of asphalt from the scrape on her forehead . The blood – her precious blood! – oozed from the scrape across her forehead, and more puddle below. The side of her jacket was torn away on her right side, and her blouse below was red and damp. Her pulse was weak but steady, and I held onto this small sign as encouragement as the paramedics worked through the crowd. Bella did not stir.

"Stand back, now. Get back!" The paramedics set their tack at Bella's head. "What happened? Who are you?"

"She was hit by the bus – not going very fast, evidently – but it seems she slid on her side and ended up on her back. I'm her fiancée," I mumbled distractedly, my eyes never leaving her face. "Her pulse is weak, but steady."

The paramedic never stopped his work. "You got medical training, kid?" He glanced up at me and his eyes widened just a fraction. "You're Dr. Cullen's kid, right?"

I nodded.

"We're going to take her into the hospital. You can meet us over there, we'll – "

"I'm going with you."

"Look, let us do our job –"

"I'm _going_ with you," I growled gutturally. My words came out with force, and the man felt it.

"All right, all right! Help us lift her onto the carrier. On my mark; one, two, three –" Bella's limp body didn't respond in the transfer; her eyes did not flutter, her mouth did not open, her breathing did not change. Anxiety blossomed in my chest; would she ever be whole again?

I climbed into the ambulance, sitting where I could hold her hand. "I'm going to need that hand, son," one of the paramedics said flatly. I glanced up at him, offering her hand gently. He took it, jammed a monitor on her finger and set to work. I couldn't watch, I couldn't take my eyes from her face. I so badly needed to touch her, to keep her alive through contact, but there was no area of her skin that was not part of the attendant's assessments. Finally, I picked up a long strand of her hand, rubbing it gently between my fingers. The man opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, moving to the next step in his procedures.

_I'll tell Carlisle, Edward, _Alice thought at the foot of the vehicle. _I'm so sorry. _Her visions sped through her mind, some with Bella bright and happy, others… I couldn't concentrate on those images; I had to shut her out. The doors closed and locked behind us, and the engine caught in ignition. I wanted to scream, to cry, to wail, but I sat silently beside my love, holding onto the thread of her hair as if it were her life. The plaintive peal of the siren howled the wail I denied as we raced to the hospital.

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><p><strong>Please leave a comment; Edward would want you to.<strong>


	14. Chapter 14: Listen

_**A/N: Please forgive my neglect in responding to all your comments. Now that this chapter is completed, I can take a little time to get to them all – and thank you properly for your comments. There was a bit of a posting problem with this chapter, and I owe a debt of gratitude to edwards-girl-4-ever, Camilla10, and lmraven for letting me know. Thank you! **_

_**A big bundle of thank yous to the Cheshire Cat and Disenchanted – you know why. **__**And as always, I must give a huge nod to my most patient beta, Mr. Bigg. Thank you, thank you, thank you. **_

**Recap of Chapter 13: **Edward took Bella down the mountain, stopping at a vantage point over the valley, where he pledged his love to her and vowed they would get through their issues together. On the tense plane back to Forks, Alice talks to Bella about the wedding. Once home, Edward lets Bella know Alice sees an end to the problems he's been having and sees her becoming a vampire. Edward drops Bella off at school as he takes a call from Carlisle, but abandons the call when he Alice's thought alerting him Bella's been hit by a bus. Edward rides in the ambulance with Bella as the paramedics take her to the hospital.

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><p><strong>Listen<strong>

"Carlisle." His name issued from my mouth in a breath of relief. He walked toward me, arms outstretched, thoughts open. _Edward, I'm so sorry. Is she conscious yet? Could you tell if her bones were broken? What's the prognosis? _Esme was directly behind him, her thoughts scattered, littered with overwhelming regret and concern.

"She's still in the OR. They said something about resetting her right shoulder and stitching up the back of her –" I had to swallow. I didn't want to think of Bella as a patient, assessing her injuries and the possible outcomes. It was unbearable.

"It's okay, son." Carlisle's hand remained on my shoulder, clutching it briefly in sympathy. "I'll go check on her." He turned on his heel, pushing through the double doors and into the emergency room.

"Edward," Esme said, wrapping her arms around me. _Oh Edward, you must be… It's just awful! They wouldn't let you… I wish we knew… Oh God, I wish I could do something! _Her mind lit from thought to thought, a manic path in her desperate need to help. "Come over here, Edward. Sit down." We walked to the chairs together.

"Where are the others? Where's Alice?"

"She stayed home, she's with Jasper," Esme whispered, circling her palm against my back. "She won't forgive herself for not seeing Bella's accident. With the wolves around, she really didn't have a chance, poor thing."

"I wish she had seen."

"I know, dear, so do I. We're all very concerned, especially Alice. She really blames herself, but of course, it really isn't her fault."

"No, it's not. It's no one's fault." _No one's but mine. I should have been there. _My mind was flooded with all the things I could have done, should have done, things I promised myself and promised Bella. I was weak. I let her get hurt. The ugly truth ran down my nerves like lightning fire, flaying me alive with guilt and remorse. My heart was all locked up in my head. I closed my eyes, my face pulling into a grimace of pain.

"Edward, listen, that goes for you, too," Esme whispered emphatically. "This isn't your fault; you did nothing wrong. You can't be with Bella every second, and as long as she's still human, these things can happen."

"I should have changed her," I breathed, knowing that had I done so, she'd be sitting next to me in the meadow, running by my side, loving me with her beautiful body and her warm heart… I missed the sound of her heartbeat.

Instantly, I was deluged with images and sounds: The sound of Bella's heart slowing and ceasing; her struggle for life, writhing in pain; Carlisle's face as he tried to find the words to say we'd been too late; my empty life carrying on meaninglessly until I could find a way to end it… My fingers ran through my hair, pulling it into knots, and I found myself biting my lip as Bella did when she worried. What was taking so damn long? I pulled my hands free and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, rocking myself. I rubbed the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying desperately to banish the images from my mind.

The thoughts of the nurses and attendants brought no relief to the panic building in my stomach, their minds on the medical, clinically assessing patients and situations. Now and again, their thoughts would slip into sympathy and compassion before moving back to the cold and detached set of procedures for care that enabled them to continue. Esme continued to stroke my back, my hair, all in a vain attempt to soothe and comfort. In so many ways, she was truly my mother, and I her son. She sought to comfort me as she would a small child, but my worry and fear had taken on monstrous proportions. Where was Carlisle? What was taking so long? Was Bella out of surgery? Would she be all right? What was going on? What was taking so _damn_ long?

"Mother, I can't bear this." I flung my hands away from my eyes and stood in the same motion, my silent heart aching. "I'm going mad. I have to do something. What is taking so long? Why hasn't father returned?"

"Edward, I'm sure he'll come back as soon as he knows something," she said, her voice soft and pleading. "Listen. Come, sit back down with me. Talk to me."

"I'm sorry, I can't. I need to…, " I let my words trail off. I couldn't sit here any longer. I needed to do something, to pace, to run, to scream, anything, as long as I wasn't' sitting here utterly useless and vulnerable. "I'm going for a walk."

"I'll call you the minute Carlisle returns," she said, her eyes echoing her thoughts filled with sorrow and pity.

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><p>I wandered through the hospital grounds, letting the concerns and cares of the people around me turn to a white background noise that let me center on my guilt and grief. Would Bella live? I was terrified of the answer, fear and anxiety mixing in unequal measure to tear at my core. The world would be a bleak place if one so beautiful and kind were to leave this realm. I tried time and again to shake the horrors that plagued my worry, trying to imagine a positive outcome. But each time the panic and pain would grip me again, and I would tumble deeper and deeper into despair.<p>

I had no clue where I'd walked, lost in my thoughts as I was. Perfume seemed to fill the air. _Bella. _The scent of lilac and freesia seized my attention, and following the wafting perfume, I walked into a small, empty chapel. The flowers on either side of the altar explained the Bellaroma; I sat down and closed my eyes, letting their scent fill my head. _Bella. _Just the fragrance brought the worry to mind again. My hand immediately fisted in my hair, and I blew out a long, ragged breath, listening to my random thoughts as they tormented me.

I opened my eyes and surveyed my surroundings. A false light lit the painted plastic panel serving as a stained glass window. It was innocuous enough to exist in this small chamber of worship as the center of attention. The colors were dull and muted, lifeless and without hope; or was that simply my perception of the world without her in it? Staff rushed by outside the doors, the murmurs and whispers of their thoughts became the background music to my worry. I didn't want to hear them; I couldn't hear them. I leaned forward, forearms on the bench in front of me, and lifted my eyes.

_I know You have no use for me, soulless as I am. My past is dark, and my deeds are black with sin. But hear me, please. I pray not for myself, but for my Bella, who lies broken and barely breathing somewhere in the hospital. _Someone entered the chapel, the rustle of beads, the smell of wool and ashes foretold the heartbeat. I clasped my hands together and closed my eyes. I let my mind overflow with the worry, guilt, and regret for Bella, asking for help from a God who would not hear me.

I opened my eyes, feeling forsaken and ridiculous. I had no place here; I knew it before I came. It was my past, lost so long ago, my humanity that brought me here in times of trouble. I slumped back on to the pew, considering the window and its too bright illumination. Oh, that my life was so illuminated, that I might find hope in this desperate hour.

The priest moved forward from the back of the chapel to place his Bible on the dais. His mind was occupied with the preparations for the week: Candles, pamphlets, rosaries, all physical paraphernalia to deliver the soul. He seemed to notice me for the first time, turning to smile automatically. His eyes widened as he took in my stillness, hair on the back of his neck prickling and standing on end, his smile slowly slipping into a scowl. I nodded slowly, trying to allay his worry as much as I could; did he not feel safe in this holy place? He nodded back, matching the speed of his nod to mine. "Peace be with you," he said solemnly, though his thoughts wished me anything but. He moved to that back of the chapel quickly, genuflected, and exited, leaving me alone to give audience to my thoughts, which immediately returned to Bella.

There was so much blood on the ground, her precious blood. And though her blood had always drawn me to her before, this time, there was no pull. As her blood lay spent on the asphalt, I felt her life draining away from me, wasting. _Because of me. _The pain of the memory shot through me, a sharp, gnawing torment that only heralded the torture I would endure if she died. _No._

My head tipped back, and I closed my eyes against the pain, the desperation washing over me once again. _Hear me, oh Lord. I beseech you, do not let her suffer._ The tightness across my shoulders pulled against the strain across my breast, dragging my chin to my chest. I curled over, rocking. _Please God, please._ My thoughts were nearly incoherent, a long utterance of pleas and cries, dying in my head, mute against the nothingness around me.

The chapel was silent, no words or thoughts resounded in my mind, save my own wordless supplications and woe. It seized me again, that emptiness, the certainty that I was abandoned and alone in my anguish for Bella. I was no longer a child of God; my words would go unanswered because prayers were reserved for the living. "Forgive me," I muttered, knowing the words made no difference at all.

The tension broke through at that point, my powerlessness and abandonment spurring me to move. I stood and wheeled around just as the door opened and a janitor entered the little sanctuary whistling. He leaned the mop against the wall and pushed the bucket and wringer with his foot, his little song unbroken. He looked up suddenly and saw me standing. "Oh, sorry!" His whisper was fervent; he immediately dropped his eyes and began to scrub the floor.

I took two steps forward, making my way toward the door, when the words of the song he'd been whistling sounded in his mind.

_Listen to the unspoken / The words resonated in my head / Listen to the unspoken / Every word unsaid / Listen_

Something about the song was familiar, and although I did not recognize the words or the tune, I felt I knew where the song was going. Like Bella's voice, I'd know it anywhere, and yet, I'd never met this man or heard this song before. It was captivating; the sound of his mind held no thought for what he was doing, no background punctuation of his work. The song was pure and childlike and… hopeful. I sat down on the bench and closed my eyes again.

_Listen to the unspoken / I heard the love within / Listen to the unspoken / I heard healing begin / Listen_

_Though the words unspoken / Though his voice unheard / He took me when I was broken / He heard every word_

_Listen to the unspoken / Listen, keep your word well / Listen to the unspoken / No more an empty shell / Listen_

_And you will be heard._

The song ended. I sat for several moments, absorbed in the silence of the chapel, replaying the song in my head. The quietude was restful and calm, and yet it was strange, too. What was it? I heard no noise, no movement, no… thought. I opened my eyes and turned in my seat. The mop still rested against the wall, but no one was there.

Had I been so lost in this song that I'd missed the janitor's exodus? My brows knit together in concentration as I recounted the moment the song had ended in my head. There had been no sound, no thought, no scent… Nothing, save the song.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Esme appeared. "There you are," she said softly. "It's time to come back. She's out of surgery."

* * *

><p>Carlisle pulled off the gown covering his clothes. "She's pulled through, Edward." I felt the weight of the world pull away from my shoulders as he said the words, and I let out a long, slow breath.<p>

"Thank God," Esme murmured. I turned and studied her expression, finding no mockery or jibe, only an overwhelming sense of relief.

_She's not completely out of the woods, yet, Edward,._he thought, as he folded his arms around Esme. _She lost a lot of blood, and she was unconscious for quite a while. _

"Is she awake?" The need to see her, to touch her, to hold her once more rushed over me as I glanced down the hall.

"No, she's still in recovery. I told the surgeon you would want to be by her, and he agreed to let you go in. He made me promise you wouldn't disturb her." I didn't linger to listen.

The human charade never acerbated me more than in this moment. I turned as Carlisle spoke, pushing my way through the double swinging doors and flying into the recovery room. My legs could not carry me fast enough. The smell of urine, blood, and death hung in the air, but meant little to me. The faint floral scent of Bella's sweet perfume led me to her side as she lay sleeping and inert, tubes snaking in and around her hands.

I lifted her hand to my lips, laying a soft kiss across her fingers, drinking in her incredible scent. She was so fragile, so breakable; I immediately recalled her hospitalization in Phoenix after James' sadistic torture. Then, her bones had healed, and she mended to right again. Would she mend this time? I placed her hand back gently at her side, listening to the steady rhythm of her heart that was my saving grace, my music.

She was pale and still, her head turbaned in bandages. I ran my cold fingers across her bruised cheek; the skin puckered up in goose bumps, but she did not stir. "Bella, I'm here. I love you," I murmured next to her ear to no reaction at all. It took all my strength to simply stand there, waiting, watching for her to wake. I had to believe she was in there, that she would recover. She _had_ to recover. "Bella, love, rest as long as you need to heal. I'm here. I love you. I won't leave your side." I needed her to hear me, to return to me again. I began to hum her little lullaby, knowing it was all I could offer her for comfort.

My desire kept me standing, watching her, waiting for her lashes to flutter open, to see consciousness light her deep chocolate eyes, but my duty to my family pulled me away from her, to sit by her side as a human would do. I pulled a chair next to the bed, settling in to watch her, knowing I could not leave until she woke.

I watched her calm, impassive face as a big, matronly nurse came in to check her pulse and IV. "She's gonna be asleep awhile, hon'. Why don't you go home and get some sleep yourself? So you can be awake when she wakes? Looks like you could use some rest. We _can_ call you, you know."

I smiled weakly at the woman. "No, I'm fine," I said, my voice not much above a whisper. She moved as if to speak, but stopped herself. Something in my expression told her encouragement to leave was useless. She finished her tasks and left the room.

Throughout the night, I kept a vigil by her side, taking on a pretext of sleep whenever hospital personnel entered the room. Through it all, Bella slept on, never waking, never speaking, never moving, save the slow susurrations of her breath. There was no acknowledgement of presence, no reaction to stimulus, no evidence of pain. Only the last gave me any comfort, that she slept without apparent pain.

The event played over and over and over in my head, my culpability and guilt taking larger proportions in each pass. It was my fault. I should have been there. I should have stopped the bus. I should have been at her side, righting her as she stepped backward. A million reruns passed through my mind, each where my presence would have prevented this outcome, each leaving me with a renewed sense of abasement and responsibility.

As light crept in around the edges of the blackout curtain, I heard Bella's heart lurched and speed. I leaned over the bed, watching her face, her eyes, her mouth, as the monitor began to sound the change. A choked sob rasped out. "Bella? Can you hear me, Bella?"

Her lids fluttered and opened slowly, her eyes rolling, searching for focus. "Bella?" I said again, hope coloring my voice with elation.

"What, where am I?" her voice was low and raspy.

"You're in the hospital, love. You were hit by a bus."

"A bus?" She seemed stunned – a typical reaction for head wound victims.

"Yes, love," I said, smiling. "But you're going to be all right."

"I was hit by a bus?" She was agitated, trying to lean up. I put my hands on her shoulders, holding her down.

"Yes, love. But you're going to be all right. Don't try to move."

The nurse bustled in, pushing my hands away. "Honey, do you know where you are?"

"He said I got hit by a bus," she repeated, her voice monotone. "Is that right?"

"Yes it is, honey. Your family's been waitin' to see you – they'll be glad you're awake. Does anything hurt?"

"Um," she whispered. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and the simplicity of that tiny tic filled me with joy. "No, not really. I'm kind of thirsty, I guess."

"You wanna get her some ice chips?" The nurse pointed to the hall with her chin. I picked up the basin and moved to the door. "Your boyfriend's gonna get you some ice chips."

"Okay," Bella rasped. "Um, what's his name?"

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><p><strong>I hope you'll forgive me for the evil cliffie. You can leave me a note to tell me how you felt about it, if you'd like!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15: Lullaby

_**A/N: Thank you for everyone who responded to the last chapter. You words of encouragement mean so much during this trying time, and I really can't thank you enough. You, my faithful readers and reviewers, have my everlasting gratitude.**_

_**And as always, my appreciation goes to my masterful beta, Mr. Bigg. Thank you, thank you, thank you. **_

**_In the story, when Edward sings to Bella, the melody is Bella's Lullaby from Twilight. _**

**Recap of Chapter 14: **Edward meets Carlisle and Esme at the hospital while waiting for Bella. Carlisle leaves them to wait as he goes to check on Bella. Edward's anxiety and feelings of guilt push his to walk, and he ends up in the hospital chapel. While there, he receives an unusual message telling him to listen to the unspoken. Bella wakes, and Edward goes in to see her, only to find she doesn't remember the accident or him.

**Lullaby **

I felt numb as I pushed throw the doors to the waiting room.

The room was stacked with visitors for Bella; Charlie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Leah, and Jacob were all present. Their thoughts echoed the jumble of voices that greeted me, each with their own concern about Bella. I didn't care. I couldn't care. My world had evaporated with Bella's memories.

"'Bout damn time," Charlie huffed as he stood. "Carlisle, is it okay if I see her now?"

"Well," Carlisle replied, though his thoughts were pointed at me. _Edward, what's wrong? Is Bella all right? Should I have Charlie wait? _I didn't want to respond, but withholding a response exacerbated the already tense situation.

I shook my head. "She's waiting for you." The words came out flatly, monotone, dead – as dead as I felt inside.

Charlie burst through the doors as my family gathered around me.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Is she going to make it?"

"Did you get to talk to her?"

"Is she suffering? Can we see her?"

"Is Bella okay?"

"Is she going to recover?"

I saw my face in their minds: haggard, empty, lost. I didn't have the energy to answer all the questions they hurled both vocally and mentally. What could they know of the end of the world? My world was gone, locked away in Bella's head. The irony wasn't lost on me that once again, the silence of her mind kept me at bay; I was simply too devastated to appreciate the symmetry of the situation. Suddenly achingly weary, I moved towards the chairs to sit as they barraged me with questions.

_Edward, _Carlisle thought, demanding my attention. _You're scaring everyone, son. Can you tell us what's going on?_ He bent to kneel at my feet. My eyes found his face.

"She… she doesn't remember… me." The last word was only a breath. I fell forward, my hands immediately in my hair as my eyes prickled and burned. "She doesn't know my name." My eyes were downcast, open, looking away from Carlisle, seeing only the bland color chips melded in the linoleum floor. I couldn't look up again. Their mental gasps and sympathies were a droning miasma, sucking me further into desolation. For a moment, the air was still was shock.

"Whoa. Bro, that's messed up," Emmett breathed.

"She has a head injury, Edward," Carlisle urged me gently. "She may have temporary amnesia. That's very common in head injury cases."

I knew the words carried meaning, that they were meant to help me, but I couldn't lift my head. What if she didn't regain her memory? Did she know we were married? Did she know how much I loved her? Did she know what I was? My head felt heavy, buzzing with confusion and loss. My chest ached.

"I know." And I did know, but this… The contrasts of my love pledged forever only a day before, now stripped from not only myself, but from her as well. All the trials we had endured, all the obstacles to life together, forever… Just as they seemed to begin to crumble and fall away, the walls of separation reformed, higher, thicker, more impenetrable. I shook my head, trying to release the image, to will myself towards hope when there was none to find.

There was hope, though, and it occurred to me only as I felt myself plunging headlong into despair. Bella. There was hope for Bella. I had held onto the idea of Bella's humanity so fervently, perhaps my prayers had been answered. Perhaps she would get the chance to live a normal, healthy, human life, one free of the monsters that plagued her on all sides. Perhaps now, she could live and grow, advance past _this,_ past me, past the frozen demon I was.

It had only been a few moments when the recovery doors banged open, and Charlie emerged, frustration and pain painted across his features. The cloud that obscured his thoughts was thick, denser than usual. He was hurting.

Carlisle, Jacob, and Leah all rose slowly and turned to face him. "She's sleeping," he said quietly, and paced to stand directly before me. "She didn't know me either, Edward. When I told her who I was, she accepted it easy enough, but she didn't know. Kept saying over and over 'I got hit by a bus?' like she wasn't sure."

"That's very common, Charlie," Carlisle comforted him. "Head wounds are unpredictable where memory is concerned."

"Yeah, I know. The doctor in there said so, too." he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder as he spoke. "It just doesn't feel that way when it happens to you. Does it, Edward."

I looked up, drawn by Charlie's words and the wisps of thoughts that escaped his clouded thinking. There was something in his voice, something unfamiliar to all our previous conversations. Looking into his deep brown eyes, so much like Bella's, I saw that surprising element: compassion.

"Don't take it too hard, Edward. And don't give up on her. I know she loves you – she told me so yesterday."

"Thank you, Charlie," I murmured, standing. "And as far as giving up, I will never give up on Bella. She is my life."

Charlie searched my eyes for a moment, then turned to Jacob and Leah. "C'mon you two. Give you a ride home. You can come back tomorrow when she wakes up."

Jacob and Leah moved towards Charlie. Jacob's thoughts were strands of worry and concern, woven with sadness and sympathy for me. He clutched Leah's hand, placing the other on Charlie's back. "Come on, Charlie. Let's go see my dad."

Carlisle twisted toward me. "Edward, why don't we come back tomorrow?" He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You do that," I said, facing him. "I'll stay here. If anything changes, I'll call."

"I'm not leaving you here alone," Esme said, and sat down next to where I stood. Her thoughts made it clear that she was not leaving, and I was not the fool to argue. "Go ahead, Carlisle. I'm staying with Edward. Take the kids home, and we'll call if something happens."

Carlisle bent down, kissing his wife softly. "Take care of him," he whispered into her hair, and grazed his fingertips over her face as he stood. "It will be all right, Edward." He patted me on the shoulder. "Let's go, Emmett."

Emmett's was optimistic, though he hedged with concern. Pulling me into a bear hug, he thought, _I'm pulling for you both, bro. Hang tough. She's gonna make it._

"Thanks, Em," I said, slapping him on the back as we disengaged. I stood as I watched him and Carlisle leave, and settled in next to Esme.

"Truly, you don't need to stay, mother," I offered.

"Edward, don't' be silly. You're my son. A boy needs his mother in times like this."

"Thank you," I murmured as we both settled in for the long night of waiting.

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><p>Esme and I sat without speaking, her hands folded in her lap. My attempts to remain calm were approximately as effectual as my attempts to keep my hands out of my hair; I must look ragged and worn, though it in no measure indicated the depth of my fear.<p>

"Mrs. Cullen?" A tiny voice nearly whispered Esme's name. The voice belonged to a small Asian nurse who appeared from behind the big double doors. "Hi. I'm Anna, Bella's nurse for the evening. She's asleep, and I don't think she'll wake for the night. Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Her voice was soft and tender.

"Thank you, Anna," Esme replied. She used her rough voice to sound as human as possible, but her underlying benevolence still shone through. I didn't bother to look up; I knew Esme would stay the night with me, sharing my anxiety and despair. "We're fine. We'd like to stay."

"All right, but… Would you like to go down to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee or anything?"

"No, dear, thank you." The quiet conversation echoed the women's thoughts. Anna, though quite strong and confident, kept her voice low to soothe her audience, and in this, she was much like Esme. I shifted in my chair, sliding forward to rest my elbows on my knees. My hands raked in my hair in my effort to comfort myself.

"Okay, but she really is out of it for the night. She was even talking in her sleep a little."

I sat upright immediately, my eyes trained to Anna's face. Although she noted my abrupt change of posture, her thoughts stayed smooth and coherent. Esme spoke. "Oh? What did she say?"

"Oh, mostly gibberish, you know, sleep talking stuff. Well, if you're sure you're all right, I'm going to go back in."

"Thank you, dear." The nurse disappeared through the double doors as Esme turned to me. "Does she do that often?"

"Yes." It was Bella, _my_ Bella. I felt a nearly overwhelming compulsion to be by her side, just as I had been every night since we'd met.

"Are you okay, Edward?" Her mother's intuition caught my new state.

"Yes, mother, I'm well. I simply need to be by her, to hear her. It's the most hopeful thing I've heard all day."

"Well, then, _go_ to her. Do you need me to distract the nurse?"

"It would be helpful."

Esme stood with no further ceremony, and walked to the double doors. "Anna?" She gently pushed the door open as she called. Anna appeared almost immediately.

"I think you're right. My son's going to go home, and I think I will get that cup of coffee. Could you show me where the cafeteria is? I'm afraid I'd get lost in a paper bag."

"Sure, Mrs. Cullen," she replied cheerfully. She looked down the hall behind her, then walked through the door to stand beside Esme.

"I'll see you at home, mother," I said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. I whispered lowly for her ear only, "Thank you."

"Be careful, Edward. I'll see you later."

Esme immediately engaged Anna in conversation. "How long have you been here, Anna? I thought I knew everyone, but I'm not certain we've met before."

I watched them walk away until they strolled around the corner towards the cafeteria. The thoughts on the floor were quiet: a nurse on the opposite side was reading a book, her solitary patient was fast asleep. I sped down the hall silently, entering Bella's room without so much as a breeze.

Bella was pale, tubes snaking around her arms. She had been restless, her foot had escaped its cover and protruded bare to the night air. Gently, I lifted her tender tiny foot and placed it beneath the blanket, tucking the covers in around her. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, so lost and alone. I leaned over her still form and whispered softly in her ear. "Bella? Bella, love, I'm here. It's your Edward."

Her eyes flickered for a moment, her heart sped and thumped irregularly before she returned to her composed sleep. I sucked in my breath, tasting her sweet respirations in the air, afraid to disturb her though my need to be near her pushed me closer still. I studied each of her fine, feathery lashes as the lay against her cheek, the pert lift of her nose, the tenderness of her mouth.

The tune seemed to be born within me, issuing forth of its own strength of will. Her lullaby was a quiet hum, a thrum of melody that was, for me, Bella's essence. The melody held me from the day first I saw her, from the first stain of blush on her cheeks that I had put their with my stare. The tune grew and fell: the restful lulls were the calmness I felt with her, the crescendos, the moments of overwhelming need and doubt until I saw her again. The song, the tune - it was her, born within me. A song to keep me alive inside, though I remained frozen without, and now the words came unbidden as I close my eyes and sang softly:

_Oh Bella, love, you are my song,_

_Come back to me._

_I'm lost without you, all alone_

_Your smile, your laugh, your warmth, your love, I need you_

_You're my life, I love you, you're my wife, forever. _

_Please awake and know me, say my name, love_

_Oh Bella to you I belong_

_And Bella, you belong with me_

_Bella, I don't want to live without you, say we'll never part again_

_Oh Bella, my world is all about you, only you have ever touched my heart_

_We belong together, life for us can now begin to start, _

_Please come back safely to me, let love guide you to my arms _

_Oh love, awaken once again_

_And let me bask inside your love_

_Just know I'll never let you go_

_I am yours, you are mine, and in love forever once more our bodies blend_

_My heart is open, let your love guide you home to me again_

_Bella, love, speak my name and say you love me 'til the end of time_

A velvety flutter pulled me from my song, and Bella's eyes were open, studying my face. "Am I Bella?" Though she spoke from only one side of her mouth, her voice was feathery, soft and warm.

"Yes," I whispered, enchanted.

"Good. I want to be Bella, the Bella in your song," she whispered, a slight lisp I'd never heard before coloring her speech. It was her spell to me, and I was completely bewitched, lost in her words and desire. "You love me?"

"Yes, Bella, truly I do."

"Will you stay with me tonight? I feel safe when you're here." The words were sluggish and drawn, as though she spoke through great exhaustion. Her lids were heavy, ready to return to sleep.

"Yes love, I will stay forever."

"Thank you… Um…," she trailed off, her voice uncertain.

"Edward, love."

"Thank you, Edward." My name on her lips was the heralding of angels, sweet song sent to save me from despair. She labored to keep her eyes open, looking deeply into mine. Words unspoken passed silently between us, and though she'd just admitted what we had shared was gone, there was a plea in her eyes. I watched her eyes, trying with all my heart to understand what lay in quietude between us. As she struggled with the weight of her lids, I leaned over and kissed her forehead gently as she closed her eyes and fell asleep again.

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><p>Light stole in the window, proclaiming the start of a new day. Bella slept soundly through the night, only speaking to mumble vague questions. The most lucid comment she'd made in her sleep was, "I can't find you, where are you?" I answered gently, offering my presence as her guidepost, but she never woke or uttered anything more coherent.<p>

The nurse, Anna, had come to check on Bella every two hours, humming as she worked. She would take great care to run her tests, check the IV, tuck Bella snugly beneath the covers, and leave to complete her rounds. She was gentle and thorough, her thoughts in perfect harmony with her actions. And though she broke my stay beside Bella, her mind was a peaceful, happy place that was a comfort to be around.

As the morning blossomed, Alice's thoughts came within range. _Edward, I'm coming to the hospital, _she thought in a stiff and perfunctory way. The tenor of her mind was oddly formal, so unlike her everyday mental atmosphere. I mulled over her attitude as I watched the gentle rise and fall of Bella's breathing.

As she came closer, she pointed her thoughts to me again. _I know you've been wondering when I would call or come to the hospital. I'm glad you feel better, really, and I'm glad Bella's coming around. But you've got bigger things to worry about, my brother. _

_I gasped in shock. "Is this the hospital," Aro asked from the backseat. "Is this where he is?"_

"_Yes,"_ Alice said, her voice calm and steady as Jasper pulled into the lot. _"Edward's with Bella now." _

"_Let's go have a look, shall we, dear Alice?"_ Aro responded, his mind set to find me. His thoughts were not pleasant.

Aro had come to Forks.

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><p><em><strong>Please don't forget to review. <strong>_


	16. Chapter 16: Visitor

_**A/N: Hello, Team Crimson! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I thought of many of the comments received as I wrote this, and I hope this will answer at least some of your concerns. **_

_**I'm dedicating this chapter to two people who have been just wonderful to me. First, CentauRita, whose sharing and support meant so very much. I hope you enjoy the chapter. And second, to Pearly Gates, , for a million reasons I can't list here. I love you so much. **_

_**My most patient and careful beta, Mr. Bigg, deserves extra thank yous this round. Thank you for sticking with it and helping me when I was blocked. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 15: <strong>Edward tells his family, Leah, Jacob, and Charlie Bella doesn't remember him, and falls into despair. After Charlie sees her, he tells Edward Bella didn't remember him, either. Esme stays with Edward at the hospital while the others leave. Bella's nurse tells them she is asleep, and encourages them to go home. She says that Bella is talking in her sleep, and Edward sneaks in after Esme distracts the nurse. Edward sings her lullaby to Bella, and she wakes and tells him she wants to be Bella. Edward's spirits are lifted, until he hears from Alice who has Aro with her as the come to the hospital.

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><p><strong>Visitor<strong>

He would not get past me.

I knew he was powerful. I knew he could destroy me. But I also knew, if it was the last breath I took, he would not get past me. I planted my feet and listened to their minds as they walked up the hall, thoughts racing ahead of Alice and Jasper as Aro followed behind.

_He seems to be alone. I haven't been able to run any reconnaissance, but there have been no signs of ambush or sabotage. He's exuding nothing but confidence and curiosity, but I don't trust him. _Jasper's eyes flitted from side to side, taking in the scene from every window he passed as he strode toward me. _I've seen nothing amiss, but even that builds the mistrust._

_Listen, Edward, I think he wants to talk to you. He came here to see you, to see Bella. And I don't mean just to the hospital – I mean from Italy. He hasn't really decided what he wants to do now that things are different that what he expected to find. Things may change as he makes some decisions. I see three possibilities happening._ The pictures in Alice's head unfolded. One scenario showed the Volturi who'd made the trip waiting for Aro's return where they waited nearby, to receive the new attack strategies. In another situation, they sped through the mountains like wraiths, descending on Forks Community Hospital, meeting my family at their line of the final tableau, Aro returned where they waited, with no news but the order to hold. Alice's tiny frame kept pace with Jasper and Aro as the scenes unfolded, all the while managing to keep her stride like that of a human. _You need to relax a little. Jasper and I won't let anything happen to Bella, and he really does want to talk to you. It's becoming more clear. _The three of them came into the small waiting room, Alice and Jasper moving to stand behind me.

Aro's thoughts centered around the different smells in the hospital – the scents of blood, disinfectant, and death. His idle curiosity led him to wonder how different ailments and conditions would affect taste: _So many different types of blood… Diabetics taste sweet, cancer tastes bitter. What other tastes would I find here? _He lingered over the ideas, making mental notes on what to try next, as though Alice had just led him into a smorgasbord that was his for the taking.

They advanced towards me, each of them seeing the world around them through their own unique perspectives, their own filters. Aro's eyes met mine, and the bright amusement was immediately evident there. "Edward," he purred, as if he and I were long lost friends. "How lovely to see you again, although I daresay not quite so lovely for you, is it, with Bella ill?" His head tilted to the side as he considered me.

I said nothing. He held his hand out to greet me, to touch me. I didn't move. A modicum of sourness crept into his thoughts, as he realized my talent was at work. He swept the displeasure away. "Ah, still so reserved, I see. Dear Alice has shown me what happened to your sweet Bella. Pity, really; I'm quite sincere, Edward. The scene was very disturbing, all that wasted potential. Will she recover fully?"

Jasper's years of military strategy conditioned him to recognize deception encased in affability, ad his thoughts screamed the danger. _Say the word, Edward, if you need help._ He stood tense, ready to act if I needed him. I shot him a glance of recognition, as I dipped my head to meet my hand, shoving it through my hair.

"Aro," I said calmly, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?" He read the bitterness, though not the full brunt of my emotion.

"Oh dear Edward, I believe we did have some unfinished business from Italy, did we not? I simply came by to confirm the newest member of your coven when Alice here found me and explained her accident." His original intention was clear, to see if she was yet a vampire. But he did not come alone, no. The others not yet in Forks waited at Crescent Lake for his signal. "Surely you see my intention, Edward? I can keep nothing from you, my friend."

Though I'd sworn to myself he would not pass me to see Bella, I quickly reassessed the situation. Bella had no memory of my nature. At this point in time, her blankness could protect her. Once again, he extended his hand in greeting, and the sudden acuity took me, providing the insight to allow the contact. Jasper bristled as I moved my hand into Aro's; Alice stayed him with a touch.

Watching Aro's mind as he read mine was fascinating. The things he chose to ignore, those with which he lingered, the decision making and strategies he held, examined, and discarded sang the pattern of his thoughts, his intentions, his motives. He knew I had not changed Bella; evidenced from Alice's thoughts, but there was something, a different source, something he was hiding. Jane's face came into view dully. He suppressed the thought, hearing the echo of interest in my head. He dropped my hand.

"I must say, Edward, your mind is simply intriguing! To read my thoughts of your thoughts back as you think them – well! Such an echo! I believe I've perplexed myself!" His chuckle was genuine enough; he laughed at the folly of his words. I straightened to my full height.

"So you see, Aro, she no longer knows me, my family, or our secret.. I've reinforced my name with her, but she knows nothing of our nature. Our secret is no longer in jeopardy from Bella."

"Yes, yes, so I see. Hmm. Such an interesting turn of events. Yes. Well." He took a step back away from me, pointing himself to go to her room. "May I see her?"

His curiosity knew no bounds. I weighed his knowledge and intention against the risk. "Aro, will you give your word you are not here to harm her?"

Mock horror ran across his features. "I? Why of course not, dear Edward! As you've stated, she is no threat to us, although your memories of la tua cantante do tend to rouse one's thirst with no hope of bedding it down, I must say. But, on to precious Bella, shall we? I'm so anxious to see her for myself, to know she is well." He extended his arm to direct us forward.

His thoughts of Bella were laden with curiosity and arrogance. _Can she still deny me? _He saw our gifts as different, his, of course, superior. He felt certain he could read Bella's thoughts now that she was, in his words, damaged. He mused to himself, _Perhaps I will see past this ruse, dear Edward. _

I could see no reason to deny him, no alternate to escape this visit, though instinctively ever fiber in my being longed to resist. But the call would not be avoided; Aro was decided. Though he'd come for an entirely different reason, his new purpose and the curiosity that fueled it drove him forward.

"Let me introduce you. She's a bit skittish and confused," I said, fronting a calm I did not feel.. "And stay away from the other patients while you're here. We have our identities to protect."

"Why certainly, Edward, by all means. I am no barbarian. Do lead on."

Jasper and Alice fell in line behind Aro as I lead them down the hall. As we approached the room, Anna heard our movement and glanced up. She swallowed convulsively, the prickling sensation on the back of her neck sending terrified alerts of danger through her thoughts. She stifled her panic and stood as we drew near, ready to turn the entourage away.

I came to a stop in front of her. "It's Anna, isn't it?"

"Yes," she said, gulping nervously. "You were here last night with Mrs. Cullen."

"Yes, that's my mother. I'm –"

"Edward, Bella's boyfriend. Your mom told me. May I ask who the rest of you are?"

Aro bristled at the question. He seldom left Volterra, and to be questioned by a human set him on edge. "This is my uncle. And this is my sister and brother. They just want to say hi to Bella, a quick pop in and out, really. It will take only a few minutes. They'll leave right afterward, and I won't let them tire her out, I promise."

She weighed the proposition, thinking of her rounds and the impact the four of us would make on Bella. She opened her mouth to consent, but caught Aro's bright burgundy eyes and thought better of the idea. _I have to stop working doubles. Thánh bò_! It took a few moments for her to regain her composure, but she pushed her apprehension down again. I was impressed by Anna's intestinal fortitude and her strong stance in the face of her fears. "Okay. But for Bella's sake, don't talk to much or give her too much information. She's still recovering, and we'd like to let her go home tomorrow."

I glanced at Alice. _Yes, she'll be released tomorrow at the latest._ "Thank you, Anna. We'll be brief." I turned to Aro. "Please wait here a moment."

Silently, I stepped inside the room. Bella lay flat on her back, looking up at the ceiling tiles with great concentration. The light shone down on the crescent of her forehead, framing her in a glowing yellow corona, angelic and beautiful. The bruising was blossoming over her collarbone and jaw, a precursor of the blasphemies beneath her skin.

"Bella?" I spoke softly, keeping my voice low. Her eyes dropped immediately, the small crease of worry between her brows smoothing as she saw my face.

"Edward! You're here!" She spoke with such fervor, such commitment that the tiny lisp invading her speech was barely noticeable. I smiled reflexively, my mind raced with worry, wondering if her memory had actually returned. I took the three strides to the side of the bed and clasped her hand, and she shivered.

"I just stepped out for a moment. You have some visitors, do you feel up to it?"

Her brows pulled together in frowning concentration, and she looked away from me. After a minute of silence that ground my already tenuous hold on calm into wispy threads, she glanced up into my eyes and asked, "Do I know them?"

"Yes, Bella. Do you remember Alice and Jasper?" Again, she grimaced, her expression making it clear she did not.

"I feel like I should, but… I don't." The lisp was more definite, rendering her overall condition as more fragile than ever before. I held the worry away from my expression, realizing the challenge before us must take precedence.

"Don't worry, love. They know you. They're my brother and sister, and they've brought my uncle. They just want to say hi. Is that all right?"

"Will you stay while they're here?"

"Yes, love. I will."

"Okay."

Alice peeked in around the corner, her face bright and cheery. "Hi, Bella!"

Bella's tensed her hand in mine, but kept her face calm. "Hi."

"I'm Alice. And this is Jasper," she said, pulling him into the room. He hesitated, tasting Bella's hesitancy and nervousness, immediately reassessed his idea to visit. "And this is Uncle Aro."

Aro stepped in, his expression pleasant but alive with curiosity. "Hello, Bella dear. Do you remember me?"

Bella glanced up at me, her expression short of panic. I gave her a tiny squeeze with my hand, speaking for her. "Please forgive her, Uncle, she doesn't really remember any of you." I looked down at Bella lovingly, mouthing, 'It's okay.'

"I'm really sorry," Bella apologized, turning her gaze to her visitors. "I don't think I would have remembered my own name if Edward," she broke, looking up at me, "If Edward hadn't told me."

Her eyes turned back to the three at the foot of her bed, and she shrugged and winced. "Ow. I shouldn't do that."

I was immediately anxious. "Would you like a painkiller? I can get the nurse," I said, turning towards the door.

"No!" Bella shouted, then calmed herself again. "No, please don't go, Edward. I'm okay as long as I don't shrug again. I feel like I've been sleeping for a long time, and I don't want to go back to sleep with my guests here."

_Did she bite her tongue? _Alice queried. This was the most Bella had spoken since they'd arrived, and the change in her speech was quite noticeable. _Is that from the head injury? _I gave a quick nod, and Alice took a step backward, her eyes becoming unfocused.

Jasper said quietly, "It's so good to see you doing so well, Bella. We don't want to overwhelm you, so Alice and I -," he guided Alice by her elbow, "We'll just wait in the hall. Don't take to long, uncle."

"Oh, my dear Bella, we won't stay long," Aro said smoothly as he glided toward her. I stepped away as he took her hand from mine. "We've just been so worried, that's all."

His expression didn't change, but the climate of his thoughts shifted dramatically. Chaos tilted his normally cool, calculating mind, with anger and frustration mixing in the fray. Bella's mind was as silent as ever, safe from Aro's inquiry; his failure swirled around his astonished thoughts, a dark cloud of disappointment choking his inquisitiveness.

Bella smiled beatifically up him, watching his face. "It was sweet of you to come, but I'm okay. I just don't remember anything. They say it might come back, and it might not." She began to shrug and thought better of it. "I don't know," she said simply.

"Yes, so it would seem," Aro replied, still holding her hand and staring, his expression one of absentmindedness. His mind was far from absent; thoughts of imagined power roiled in his head, schemes to "acquire" Bella hatched, unfolded, and closed as his strategies refined. A low growl grew in my throat, pulling him from his plotting. "Well, Bella, do take care. We'll see you again, soon, shan't we?"

Bella's eyes darted from Aro to me. "Once she's healed, we'll give it some serious consideration," I said, stepping back to Bella's side. Aro released Bella's hand and laid it in mine. "For now, we're just going to concentrate on healing, right, Bella?"

Bella looked into my eyes, trust and warmth emanating from within as she nodded. "Jasper and Alice can take you home to see Carlisle. They're just outside."

"Farewell, young Edward. And do take care of your lovely Bella." Aro's thoughts returned to caution and order, revealing nothing more as he exited. I watched Bella's face as she watched him leave, leaning down to kiss the back of her hand. _He's going back to Italy, Edward, but you saw his fascination, right? One day, it'll be more than curiosity. You can relax for now. Jasper and I have it from here. _My lips touched the back of her hand reverently, and a heady scent filled me. I pulled back, and Bella was watching me.

"Did you feel that?"

"Feel what, Bella?" Her lisp was more pronounced, seeming to grow with each word.

"Nothing." She gazed down, her eyes nearly closed, and her cheeks flamed with some new embarrassment.

"Are you in pain?" I started, my anxiety rising in my throat again. She should not suffer.

"No, not pain," she whispered, still looking down, her mouth pulling into a small, adorable pout.

"Bella, love, won't you tell me?" I tried to sound charming, compelling, turning on the full force of my eyes.

Bella gasped and stuttered. "It was, like, electric. It shot through here," with her IV'd hand from my grasp. "To here." Her index finger marked a trail through her heart and fanning down across her abdomen. She glanced back at my face as the understanding blossomed there, then looked away again. I understood the bright burn in her cheeks immediately.

I leaned in, bringing my mouth to her ear. "Yes, Bella, I felt it, too. Every time," I whispered against her skin. "Every time I touch you. I want you to get well soon, love, so I can show you what I mean." The blood pounded in her neck, the skin flushing with the sudden rush of blood, her breathing ragged and panting. I pulled back to check her expression.

Bella sat, slack-jawed and open-mouthed, staring at me. I could see the pulse of blood color her lips, her cheeks. My face pulled into a one-sided smile, watching as her eyes dilated.

"Nurse! Nurse?"

Anna ran into the room, alarmed by Bella's call. She shot a look of annoyance at me as she rushed breathlessly to her side. "What is it, Bella?"

"I want to go home!"

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><p><em><strong>Please don't forget to review. <strong>_


	17. Chapter 17: Memory

_**A/N: Hello, Team Crimson! Welcome back for another chapter. **_

_**I know I ask for your comments at the end of each chapter, and this chapter is no exception. Thank you to each of you who have conjectured what will happen with Bella and Edward. It stimulates the ideas for the story and helps me determine the questions you have that made need more answers. I really appreciate each and every review – thank you. **_

_**My tolerant and questioning beta, Mr. Bigg, gets a big round of applause. Thank you for guiding me through missteps and dead ends. You're the best. . **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 16: <strong>Aro comes to Forks to see if Bella is a vampire as he requested in Italy. Alice intercepts him and when he sees her memory of what happens, he wants to see Edward and Bella. At the hospital, Edward realizes that Bella's memory loss may actually protect her, and so he allows Aro to touch him and see Bella amnesia for himself. Aro is convinced, but wants to see if he can now read Bella's mind. Edward takes Aro, Alice, and Jasper into see Bella, who doesn't remember any of them. Aro tries to read Bella's thoughts, and Alice has a vision. Aro leaves frustrated, and Edward stays with Bella. He notices she is lisping. He kisses her hand, and she feels an electric shock. She calls for the nurse and says she wants to go home.

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><p><strong>Memory<strong>

I held Bella's hand as I helped her out of the car and into the damp evening air. Her eyes rose to the heights of the house, taking it in. "How did you convince Charlie to let me stay here?" Her tongue lingered over the end of the word 'convince'. My mind was preoccupied with the implications of her lisp, but my body stirred with ideas about her soft tongue. I swallowed the desire.

"It was all my father, Carlisle," I said as she stood. "He's a doctor, Bella. He explained to Charlie that this way, you would have round-the-clock doctor's care. He promised nothing untoward would happen." Her eyes flickered to my face, her cheeks warming before she looked away. My body was torn between the pull of desire for her and the nearly overwhelming fear for her condition. The pit of my stomach squeezed deliciously, and I had to look away to control myself. I hadn't been this near to her since Stony Man, and though it was only a few days ago, my need singed my veins. "Do you feel strong enough to walk?"

"I'm not cripp – , cripp –," she broke off, shaking her head. Exasperation clouded her eyes. "I can walk." She took a step as I closed the door, and immediately stumbled.

I scooped her tiny, warm frame into my arms and walked to the door. "Allow me, love. Would you like to get the door?"

She reached across and twisted the doorknob open. I walked slowly over to the big, white couch and set her down gently. "I could have walked," she grumbled, and I smiled in spite of myself.

"Bella," Carlisle beamed. "I'm Carlisle. How are you feeling today? Still a little weak, I see?"

Bella shot me a look of chagrin. "I'm fine. Just getting a little…," she paused. It was not the first time today she'd started a sentence only to falter and redirect her words. My frustration with the silence of her mind gnawed at me. As considered what she was trying to say, her brows pushed together, the little v of stress appearing in her forehead. "Edward wouldn't let me walk."

"It was going to rain," I said, forcing a smile as I motioned to the window. The rain splashed in sheets outside where it had been dry just a moment before. "I just wanted to save you a soaking."

"Right." She frowned, but it was short lived.

Carlisle came to sit by Bella and patted her leg. "We're all so happy you're here, Bella. Edward's been very worried." Without moving his eyes from her face Carlisle thought, _She's lisping, Edward. Has this been getting worse? _I put tremendous effort behind keeping my face smooth and smiling, and gave Carlisle a quick nod Bella would not notice.

She turned to Carlisle and said, "He's been very kind, if a little overprotective."

"Who, Edward? _No_," Alice quipped with false sincerity and she flitted into the room. "My brother? Overprotective?" She nudged me in the ribs, and slipped under my arm. Jasper followed behind her, standing at attention a few feet away. "Remember me? I'm Alice, and that's Jasper. Any memories come back to you yet?"

Bella blushed and shook her head, her hair falling down around her face as she closed her eyes.

"Don't worry, Bella. It will happen. We'll all wait with you, and the memories will come," Carlisle soothed. "These things take time."

Bella's discomfort with her amnesia was evident in her body posture and expression, and I cringed internally at her pain. "Bella, let me show you where you'll sleep."

Bella and Carlisle stood together. "Thank you," she lisped, and Carlisle and Alice's thoughts rang with alarm.

Upstairs, Emmett was eager to see Bella and told Rosalie, who scowled and crossed her arms. He picked her off the bed and threatened to run them both downstairs naked. Rosalie laughed and sent her own threats back to him as they dressed in a rush. They were still laughing as they appeared at the top of the stairs, jostling and joking with each other.

Bella looked up in response to their peals. Her face lit up like a child's at Christmas and she shouted, "Rosalie!"

Rosalie glanced up and paused halfway down the stairs, confusion clear in her features. Bella rushed toward her, tripping and dragging her left foot slightly. She began to climb the stairs, all the while repeating Rose's name over and over again through her lisp and slur.

When she finally climbed to where Rose stood, Bella flung her arms around her neck. "I'm so happy to see you, oh, it's so good to see _someone_ I know. How _are_ you, Rosalie? How have you been?"

There was sudden blankness of thought around the room. Rosalie stood, hands raised in shock, her face a mask of surprise and her thoughts equally stupefied. Emmett stood on the stair above them, as confused and surprised as the rest of us.

"You recognize Rose?" Alice chimed.

"Sure, I do," Bella said, slurring her words slightly. She pulled back from her embrace. "You know me, don't you, Rosalie?"

"Uh, sure I do," Rose sputtered. "How are you, Bella?"

Bella chatted Rosalie up for a few moments as I stood in stunned silence. Carlisle was at my side, his hand gently lifting my chin to close my mouth. "Steady, Edward. Memory's a tricky thing." _She had strong, negative feelings towards Rosalie, which was the foundation for the recovery. And then seeing her unexpectedly acted as the catalyst for the anamnesis. _His words made sense, but it stung to see Bella so open and excited when, just a few short hours ago, I had to remind her of my name. _Believe it or not, this is a good sign._

Rose caught my pained stare, and placed her palms on Bella's shoulders. "Aren't you happy to be here with _Edward_?" She nodded to me with her head, directing Bella back to my direction.

Bella turned, and the hurt from Rose's rebuff sprang immediately to her eyes. My stomach twisted in sympathy for her embarrassment, and I wanted to hurt Rosalie in turn. But Rose's thoughts were soft and apologetic, not understanding why Bella recognized her. Slowly, Bella grabbed the handrail with her right hand and descended the stairs to stand next to me. She carried her left hand close to her chest as she came forward, dejected, her eyes watching her feet.

Bella's reactions reached Rosalie, and her thoughts were instantly on the defensive. _Can't you do something with her? Am I supposed to act like nothing's ever happened between us? What do you want me to do, Edward? Coddle her?_

I moved in front of Bella and lifted her chin. "Bella, it's wonderful you remembered Rose. I think you took her a little off guard, but both she and Emmett are really happy to see you." Bella's eyes flickered to mine. "And, see? Your memory's coming back! I'm so pleased, love!" I hid my fears and disappointment behind a mask of confidence and joy.

"You must be getting tired, Bella," Carlisle said, walking up beside Bella, placing his hand on her shoulder. "This recovered memory is good news, but you mustn't overdo it." He turned to me. "Edward, why don't you take her upstairs? Esme will bring you dinner and something to drink."

Bella looked up, pushing her hair away from her face. I tucked an errant strand behind her ear, asking softly, "Would you like me to carry you?"

"I can walk if you'll hold on to me to make sure I don't fall," she whispered, trying to pitch the whisper so only I heard it. "I am kind of tired." She clutched at my arm, still looking down. As she leaned toward me, I felt a tiny, warm droplet of water wet my skin.

"Bella?" Bella rarely cried in physical pain or emotional suffering. Anxiety flared in my chest imagining the reason for her tears.

"Just get me upstairs, please," she said, gritting her teeth.

I put one arm around her waist and walked with her up the stairs, past Rosalie and Emmett. Bella's head never raised, her gaze fixed solidly at her feet.

_Wow, she's really touchy. I'm sorry, Edward. What was I supposed to do? _Rosalie's thoughts were both contrite and accusatory; though she was not heartless, she was utterly confused by Bella's behavior. I glanced at both her and Emmett, my eyebrows pulling together as I shook my head. I didn't blame them, but it Bella's comfort was my priority at the moment.

We rose to the second flight of stairs and Bella pulled in a jagged breath. I could stand it no longer. I pulled her into my arms and sped to my room. As I crossed the threshold, she pulled herself closer to my neck, her eyes closed. "Thank you. Thank you for getting me away from there. I'm so stupid." Her face was wet with tears I didn't completely understand.

"Sweetheart, please. Tell me what's wrong," I pleaded as I laid her on the bed.

"Nothing," she said, still hiding her face in my neck.

"Bella, please, I can't bear to see you in such pain."

She uncoiled her arms from around my neck, pressing the heels of her hands into one eye then the next. "I'm not in pain," she said sitting up. "I'm mad, is all. Why do I remember someone who clearly doesn't like me, but I can't remember someone," her eyes flitted to mine and away, "Who clearly loves me? It's so embarrassing. I just get everything wrong because I'm stupid." She sniffed and drug her had across her eyes again.

"Bella. Love. Give yourself credit. You are most certainly not stupid," I said lowly, pulling a strand of her hair away from her eye. "You've simply had an injury, and that will heal in time."

"I know, you keep telling me that. But I want it to heal _now_," she whined. She looked down at her hands. "It just feels so – I don't know – so wrong, not being able to remember… It's like I feel I should be close to you, to –," her lisped speech broke off as the heat of her blood rushed up her neck and cheeks. It wasn't hard to imagine what she had wanted to say before her self-consciousness had overtaken her. She continued to look at her hands.

I reached across her body to her hand. "Bella." I uncurled her fingers and interlaced mine through them. "Bella." Her heart was pounding in her throat, a delicious pulse below her tender ear. I needed to see her eyes, to connect with her emotionally, spiritually; she needed to see the truth in my eyes, feel it in my words. I lifted her chin gently with my other hand, and she looked out at me with tearstained eyes beneath wet lashes. "Love, please be patient. I know it must be terribly frightening and confusing. You're doing so well, being so brave. We will get through this, together. I love you."

"Okay," she said softly, letting the weight of her ordeal slip away and the weariness overtake her. "Why do I feel so tired so much?"

"That will change as you recover, sweetheart. Patience will win out, trust me." I kissed her forehead softly. Why don't you rest? I got this bed just for you," I pulled her into my arms and reclined as I held her.. "I promise, nothing will hurt you while you sleep." She yawned, her body relaxing, and I began humming her lullaby wordlessly.

"For me?"

"Yes, just for you."

"What happened to your old bed?" I snorted a chuckle, but otherwise did not answer. Would she remember at some future point that I'd had no bed? I listened to the thunderous and erratic beating of her heart, counting her pulse. The beat slowly regulated, the frantic pounding diminishing. She didn't press the question, instead relaxing further and more deeply. She was still for a very long time, only her deep and rhythmic breaths moved her body. Her lashes made no noise against her skin; she was falling asleep. I lay motionless, savoring her sweet scent, the warmth of her body against mine.

"Edward," she murmured, rousing me from my reverie. "I can remember one thing."

"You do? What is it, Bella?"

"I remember you promised me something." A knot jerked in my stomach. Did she remember the promise made in the meadow, or the promise we'd made to each other in our vows?

"Yes? What did I promise you?"

"Mmm… Can't 'member." She yawned and snuggled her shoulder against my chest, smacking her lips. "Just 'member you said you would and I believe you. 'Cause you promised." I could tell she was smiling even through her lisp and fatigue.

"Ssshhh," I cooed, and began humming her song again. I rocked her gently until she became utterly still, and I knew she was asleep.

How did she do it? She enchanted me so deeply with just a few mumbled words. She wanted to be Bella for me. _For me._ The weight of that gift was not lost to me. She couldn't remember who she was, who I was, or what I was to her, yet she offered her trust unflinchingly as she lay in my arms. The chill of my skin did not frighten her, for she trusted me. The confusion of the night had plagued her in wakefulness, but no, here she slept soundly in my embrace. It wasn't the first time I'd had these thoughts, nor was it the first time the ideas filled me with awe. My sweet girl, so brave, so…

_Edward, we're going to need to talk,_ Carlisle spoke mentally from downstairs. _The lisp is worrisome. It typically indicates more permanent damage. It's still early, so I could be wrong. _He wanted to see me; the pictures in his head showed his strong desire to face me as he analyzed what he'd seen and came to his conclusions. I didn't respond, and after a few moments, he added, _We can talk about this in the morning. Alice can run Bella by home for some clothes, or take her shopping. But we most definitely need to talk, son. _I felt the undertones of alarm in his thoughts.

He wasn't the only one whose observations were causing panic and edginess. Alice gasped as a vision swept over her sight, She'd been purposely blocking the images all night, trying to give me time with Bella, but this precognition was so abrupt and powerful she could not prepare a palisade against my view. _Bella, limping, left arm unnaturally close to her body, her hand curled under her chin. She sat in a chair in my room, staring empty and dead into space. I looked up from the book I was reading just in time to wipe the drool from her lips. _Horror gripped me and I winced, my eyes squeezed tight against the second sight. Is this what's in store for Bella? What decision impacts this? How do I change it?

Once again, Alice's thoughts intruded into my world of pain and worry. _Edward, there's more. _Alice is flipping through the memories, trying to align them, to make sense of the image flood that so often barraged her, and then _We're running, the meadow around us, behind us, deep forest ahead, she keeps my pace and smiles at me, leaping, dancing, whirling around me as I laugh in delight. _Smiling broadly, my eyes began to prickle, joy choking my tear ducts. The longing ran down my arms, burning out from my chest, so that my only thought was, _I want this…_

_These are the two most likely futures, Edward. Bella stays human and gets worse, or you change her and she stays with you, happy. I know what my decision would be. What are you waiting for? _Her thoughts trailed off and became hazy, and I could hear Jasper's mood overtaking her. The vision had shaken her as deeply as it had me.

I pulled Bella closer, her heat seeping through her clothes to my chest. _What am I waiting for?_ I can see Alice's future begin to unfurl in her lisp, and I realized Carlisle saw it, too, without the benefit of Alice's vision.

What _was_ I waiting for? Alice knew the answer as clearly as I; the moment when I was certain beyond all doubt that I would not rob Bella of her place in Heaven, or risk her soul for my own selfish needs. I knew this time would never come, and yet, I felt somehow it was the only release from the weight of stealing from her – first her life, then her everlasting life. My chance was gone – shriveled to dust in a moment of stabbing weakness and loneliness – and I would never blame Carlisle for what he did. But given the same circumstance, the same piercing need, I could not find a way to relieve myself of the weight of what was at stake.

Bella stirred within my arms, her movements sending snatches of her scent in the air. "Edward," she breathed in a husky, sleep-imbued voice. "Edward? I want you, Edward. I want to be with you, always. I love you."

Her eyes were closed against the night, and the rhythm of her heart told me she was still sleeping. How she sounded like my own Bella! I kissed the top of her head as she began to speak again. "Tell me about the tree, Edward. Tell me about the waterf–," she trailed off again, snuggling into her pillow and smacking her lips.

I sat motionless and stunned as she burrowed back into sleep. The tree? The waterfall? These things had happened before her accident. _Before._ I smiled joyfully, elated. Her memory was coming back. Perhaps there would be a happy ending after all.

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><p><em><strong>Please don't forget to review. <strong>_


	18. Chapter 18: Prognosis

_**A/N: Thank you to each of you who have stayed with me through this story. It's your support that keeps me going and I appreciate your comments – thank you. **_

_**Mr. Bigg's been a most fabulous beta once again. I couldn't do it without you. Thank you for every read, every suggestion, and everything else. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 17: <strong>Edward brings Bella back to the Cullen's home to recuperate. He explains Carlisle has arranged it with Charlie, and that nothing "untoward" will happen. He carries Bella into the house where she is greeted by Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper – who she doesn't seem to remember. As Rosalie and Emmett come down the stairs, Bella shouts out Rosalie's name and tells her she remembers her. Rosalie is stunned and rebuffs Bella, who starts to cry. Edward takes Bella to sleep in his room, where Bella explains she's angry because she can't remember everything, although she remembers Edward promised her something. She can't remember what the promise was, but she trusts him to fulfill it. She falls asleep as Edward listens to Carlisle thoughts and Alice's disturbing visions of Bella. Bella talks in her sleep, and what she says encourages Edward to feel hopeful her memory will return.

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><p><strong>Prognosis<strong>

As the dawn broke through the wall of windows, I watched Bella's face, eager for her to wake. She had talked most the night, asking, pleading me to tell her the story of our love. She never woke, and I could only imagine what she retained. But my spirits soared as I sang to her, spilling the love I had for peppered with the hope I hadn't dared to feel before that moment.

Her breathing changed, hitching as her eyes fluttered awake. "Hi," she whispered, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. I leaned in, inhaling deeply, and sighed; Bella smelled like heaven in the morning.

"Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?"

She leaned toward me, closing her eyes as she inhaled. She pulled back, gazing into my eyes as a smile played at the right corner of her mouth. "I slept so well, Edward. So deeply. I usually don't sleep well when I'm clo – ," she seemed to choke on her words before she tried again. "When I'm clo – … When I'm dressed." She pulled her lip between her teeth – an innocent tic that caused a surge of desire in my veins. I wanted to bite that lip. "I must look awful."

"You look wonderful," I murmured against her forehead as I kissed her softly. "What would you like? Are you hungry?"

"Not really," she replied, her brows pulling together creating the tiny v that I loved so well. "I feel sort of -," she paused. Her tongue held the s and w of her words too thickly. Why couldn't I simply read her mind? This momentary pause pulled at my nerves, anxiety blooming in my chest anew. An eternity of seconds sprawled away from me before she finally said, "Gross."

"Gross?"

"Yeah, like, I need a bath."

"I can run you a bath – " I sat up, rising to start her bath, but her tiny hand clamped around collar of my shirt.

"No, don't go, please. I can take a shower, just – just don't go, okay?" Her eyes were wide and earnest as she continued to bite her lip.

"As you wish. Would you like to come with me? We can use the washroom here." We both sat up: I angled off the bed and she straightened then scooted toward the edge.

As she stood, she straightened her clothes. "I don't have anything to wear." She brushed herself lightly, then sat down on the bed again, attending the laces in her shoes.

"Esme brought some things she thought would fit you," I answered and darted out the door, tucked the pants and blouse under my arm, and returned before she looked up again. "Alice will take you by your house today to pick up some of your clothes. She has her heart set on taking you shopping, but you don't have to go if it's not to your liking." She slipped off her shoes and socks, and rose to walk to the shower. I stayed by her side.

"Uh, I have a question for you," she said tentatively. "I know I should know, but I don't – I mean, I think I know, but I'm not sure, okay?" Doubt and insecurity choked her words, made all the more obvious by her slurring lisp. She took two steps toward the shower then came to a stop, her eyes wide and… I couldn't read the expression they held. Was it fear?

I turned and stood in front of her, taking her hands in mine. She watched our hands as mine fingers intertwined with hers. "Bella, please ask me any question you'd like," I encouraged. Though uncertainty coiled in my stomach, I kept my voice light and soothing. "There's nothing I wouldn't tell you."

"Um, ok-k-kay," she stuttered, not lifting her eyes. The red blossoms of embarrassment painted her cheeks. "Have we, uh, you know," she paused, inhaling a deep breath and glancing up at me through her lashes. "Have we… done it?" The stain of bashfulness spread across her face and neck.

The Bella I knew and loved so well would find this difficult, awkward, as was proved out by the flush that consumed her. She asked for her own reasons; my need and desire would only serve to kindle her guilt. I kept my tone easy and clinical. "Yes," I said simply.

She gulped deeply, pulling air into her lungs. Some finality ran across her expression, and I knew she had come to a decision. "Okay." She dropped my hands and stepped around me. "Through here?" she asked, pointing with her chin as she took Esme's clothes from under my arm. I nodded slowly, watching the purpose and direction of her decision. She spun towards me, throwing her question as if desperate. "Coming?"

"Bella, are you sure about this? I could wait here, love. I'm not expecting anything."

"No, please. I just don't want to be alone in there. I'm not," she paused, her face pulling into a shallow grimace as she shrugged. "I'm not 'specting anything either."

We walked quietly into the bathroom. I opened the shower door and pulled on the water. How hot was too hot? Would the water burn her? I turned the hot water down a shade from the temperature I was used to, testing it on my hand. "Be sure to check this when you – " My voice broke off.

A very naked Bella stood before me as I pulled back out of the shower. Her eyes were large and round, her hair hanging down over one breast. The large splotch of purple across her shoulder competed with the beauty and delicacy of her petal-soft skin for my attention. I took her in, feeling my body respond in completely inappropriate ways. "Get in…, " I finished lamely.

"Is this okay?" Her cheeks blushed scarlet though she didn't look away.

I gulped. "Yes, Bella," I replied, extending my arm. "Please give me your hand."

She reached out, placing her dainty, fragile hand in mine and sending an electrical impulse across my skin. A tiny gasp escaped her lips, but she continued to move forward. As I guided her to the shower, a whiff of dried blood caught my nose, and I stiffened immediately. Bella seemed not to notice.

"How's the water?" I whispered as she passed close to my body and into the shower. The source of the scent became clear as she glided by me: her back was covered with scrapes and scabs, more evidence of her accident. My eyes held the sight with anguish, nausea sweeping through my belly for my beloved's suffering.

"It's perfect. Thank you," she lisped quietly, stepping below the streaming water. I twisted away, closing the shower door and sitting on the toilet. She poked her head out of the door, confused. "Aren't you coming in?"

"Uh, no."

Her voice took on the pouting whine of a teenager. "Why not?"

"Bella. You've been injured. Your memory – you barely know who I am or what we were to each other. There are rules about taking advantage of women in your state." Her face fell as I explained. "Would you believe me a cad?"

Her face drew into an adorable pout. "No, I guess not. But you're not leaving, right?"

"I'll be right here when you need me."

"Okay." She pulled her head back into the shower, closing the door. It was clearly not what she had wanted to hear, but to take advantage of her now, in this condition – it was very wrong, regardless if I were her husband or not. I looked away from the shower, closing my eyes, trying to think of anything except her battered and bruised body. I banished the images away, only for their replacement to incite a more tortuous state as her naked body appeared in my minds eye. Her pink, pert nipples, the flat of her belly, her navel, her femininity – my body responded to the images in my head. Calmness continued to elude me. I opened my eyes.

The room was steamy; droplets on condensation rain down the mirror. Bella was completely obscured within the stall. I could hear the cloth drag across her skin as she washed, and again, my imagination set about tormenting me with need. I pushed my cock down with the hell of my hand, trying to quell my growing erection.

"Augh!" My eyes shot to the shower in time to see her fall, her tight ass against the glass. I darted to the door and flung it open, stepping into the steaming stream of water to lift her. "Sorry, I slipped," she whispered, clinging to me as she righted herself in my arms. My hands lingered a moment longer than was necessary, and though I doubted she had noticed, her eyes were suddenly on me, watching with a gaze I had only known before her accident.

I stepped back, releasing her slowly, my arms still outstretched. My head wrestled with my desire. I wanted to stay, to take her, to feel life between us as we coupled. But despite the wanton look of her face, the tongue that swept out over her bottom lip before she pulled it between her teeth – despite these things, she was not herself. It was so wrong. It was so unfair. It was so tempting.

I let my arms drop to my side as my eyes drank in the beauty of her flushed skin under the steaming water. Her feet were pink and wrinkling in the wet; her long legs were slightly parted, the water spilling down her thighs. As my eyes rose to the sweet flower of her sex, I heard the fabric straining against my cock, the wet denim tearing against the magnitude of my erection. Though my length sprang free, I made no other movement, save my eyes as they slid up her body, to the hard buds of her pebbled breasts, past her wet hair playing in the water, her lip pulsing beneath her teeth. My eyes met hers, the lust clear between us. She took a step toward me.

I turned away. "No," I whispered, wanting with every fiber of my being to say the opposite. It took every ounce of strength and will I had ever known to step out of the shower, away from where she stood. I tore at the wet and ruined fabric, and wrapped myself in a towel. The faucet squealed as the running water was closed off, and Bella appeared at the door of the stall.

My terrycloth robe hung on the back of the door. Pulling it into my hands, I held it outstretched for Bella as she slipped her arms through. It was far too long for her; she yanked it up around her waist and tied the belt to hold it before she turned to me.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her eyes cast downward.

I wanted to hold her, to kiss away her apology, to explain its needlessness, but any movement toward her, any tenderness would only weaken my resolve. "I'll tell Alice you're ready to get dressed." She nodded once, and walked slowly into my bedroom.

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><p>Alice smirked as she walked towards me. "You give 'keep it your pants' a whole new meaning, Edward."<p>

I scowled. "Funny, Alice. Thanks. Are you going to take her or not?"

"No need to start an _uprising_, Edward. Of course I'll take her around _Forks_. Maybe we can grab a _hot dog_ for lunch, you know, just _suck it_ down before we go shopping for _new pants_…" The lascivious glint in her eye was a challenge.

I suppressed the urge to throttle her. "Have you been hanging out with Emmett again?"

"I'm just trying to lighten your load, brother – no pun intended. I've seen how much this bothers you, and I really do want you two to be happy. The future's still hazy, but I haven't given up yet." She turned on her heel toward the bedroom. "You'll be done with Carlisle by about two. We'll be back by four. Try to relax a little," she glanced over her shoulder at my crotch. "Maybe you need to take the problem in hand."

"Alice…" I warned.

"I'm going, I'm going! Sheez! What a _hothead_!" She smirked and closed the door as I looked for something to throw at it.

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><p>Carlisle sat behind his desk pouring over two thick medical journals comparing entries. He extrapolated the information in each, making his own connections and observations. I knocked at his door out of habit, warning him I was coming in.<p>

"Come in, Edward." He looked up, closing one of the tomes as I approached. "How is Bella today?"

"She's well, Carlisle. Alice is taking her by Charlie's for some clothes, then shopping."

_She's still lisping?_ His thoughts were gentle, concerned.

"Yes, and it seems to be progressing." The word echoed in his mind before I was done speaking. _Apraxia._ "Carlisle, what is that?"

"I noticed she's slightly aphasic, which can accompany acquired apraxia." His thoughts were ordered medically, following his standard methodology and practice. The words he spoke were for his benefit as he verbally categorized Bella's injuries and symptoms. "Her apraxia seems to be atypical at this point; she's not demonstrating any muscle deviations." He paused for a moment as he considered Bella's clumsiness as a symptom. _She might have had issues that were identified…_ He disregarded the idea; apraxia was more definite and quick in onset.

"This is not the earliest trauma she's had to the head. You remember the x-rays when she first came to Forks?" I nodded, recalling the glimpse of them in Carlisle's mind as he treated her. "I doubt her current injury stands alone, but the trauma to the head has triggered a predisposition in the language and coordination centers. With apraxia, over time and without intense treatment, we could see major changes in her personality and ability to communicate. Given her symptoms are atypical, it could eventually take over her ability to speak or care for herself."

The image from Alice's mind flooded my thoughts. _God. No. Please._ "Is this what's affecting her memory?"

"The apraxia, no." He closed the volume in front of him, resting his hand on the other book he'd already closed. "Not by itself. Her amnesia seems to be a separate issue related to her injuries. It's usually temporary in for head trauma." _But I fear she has had a TBI, more serious than originally considered. _

TBI, traumatic brain injury. My stomach sank. I croaked a hoarse whisper. "What's the prognosis?"

"She could fully recover, Edward. It's still so early," he said as I sank into the chair facing his desk. "She'll need treatment. We should start right away."

"I'll talk to Bella tonight. Will this work?" I couldn't lift my eyes to meet his. I saw myself through his eyes: despondent, tense, consumed. I didn't want to see. I didn't care how I appeared.

Carlisle walked around the big desk and laid his hand on my shoulder. _Time will tell, Edward. Only time will tell. _

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><p><em><strong>Please review. <strong>_


	19. Chapter 19: Meadow

_**A/N: I know you know who you are. You post a review every time you read. You tell me what you like and what you didn't. You give me inspiration and motivation to keep going. You share a bit of your experience with me. This chapter is for YOU. **_

_**I always thank my most patient and wise beta, Mr. Bigg, and this chapter is no exception. You stayed with me as I struggled through this chapter, redirecting me when it didn't work and rewarding me when it did. Thank you. You're the bomb diggity. **_

**Recap of Chapter 18: **Edward watches Bella sleep until morning. When she wakes, she wants to take a shower, but asks Edward to stay with her. Edward guides her into the shower, but won't go in with her. He wrestles with his need to touch her and the wrongness of doing so when she doesn't remember what they are to each when he hears her slip in the shower. He rushes in to help her and gets an eyeful of her, naked and wet He resists her, though his need has made itself known and obvious. Alice teases Edward about the incident, trying to tease him into relaxing. She takes Bella to Charlie's for clothes and then on to shopping. Edward stays home with Carlisle, talking about Bella's condition and the not-so-bright future.

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><p><strong>Meadow<strong>

"Would you like to talk about what's bothering you, son?" Carlisle's voice was filled with empathy.

"Thank you, no," I muttered, looking up at the clock. "Alice and Bella should be back in two hours, and I need to consider the options before us." I pushed my palms against my knees, standing, though I felt shaken and uncertain. "I'll be in my room."

_All right, Edward. Remember, you can talk to me if you need – I'm a good listener. _

"I know that."

_Would you like time alone with your thoughts? _I nodded briefly, my mind already occupied with the conflicting feelings and ideas filling my mind. _Very well. I'll take the others out hunting to give you some peace, son. _

"Thank you." My fortune in Carlisle's friendship was not lost to me; he gave me peace in his own way, letting me grapple with my own demons. It was a rare man who gave so much and asked for so little.

I walked slowly to my room, finding no reason for speed. The plodding steps echoed the conundrums bouncing around in my head, gave a rhythm to my torment. How did I save Bella without damning her for all time? There was no answer, no release or escape, nowhere to turn.

I threw myself down on the bed amongst the scattered bedsheets, They smelled like her, soft, fragrant… My mind drifted away from my woe to something infinitely more pleasing: The beauty of her skin, the exquisite scent of her sex, and the flush of blood as the warm water streamed over her breasts, her belly, her womanhood. My hand unconsciously drifted to my cock, rubbing along the rigid shaft through the light material of my pants, until I realized what I was doing. _I may be looking for comfort, but this is so inappropriate!_ I got up from the bed, walking to the window and searching the hillside forest for answers.

My needs warred with the fears in my head, dampening coherent thought and twisting logic into confusion. I needed to think. What would Bella do? My Bella made decisions, came to a conclusion with which she could live, and then she acted upon that decision. She'd done this when she met me and throughout our life together; she'd done it today by inviting me into the shower. It was her way.

Still… What would she want? We had never really discussed this, believing the possibility of illness remote, given her proclivity for danger and trouble. I had tried and failed to protect her, and now, she was incapacitated and sinking further away from health each day. I knew her nature, knew that she would soon begin to doubt her worth and my love for her, seeing herself a burden instead of the embodiment of love and beauty she was to me. She was love, everything about her spoke my heart. Her mannerism, her words, the little idiosyncrasies that added up to the woman who had enchanted me… The way she bit her lip, the way she saw through my pretenses, the unique and surprising way her private mind worked, the way her body responded beneath my lips and fingertips – everything. All the things that made Bella who she was were still evident today, and there was nothing between us that could ever drive me away. She knew I would never leave her, no matter the state in which she existed. _And that truth still holds._

But did I condemn her to an existence of half-life, knowing her memory may never return, and the apraxia may seize her and never let go? Though her memory could return, her physical symptoms were worsening, and though it was still early, the signs of the diseases rise were evident – the aphasia, the shorter temper. There was no telling where the disease would stop, or the condition in which she would be left. Alice's vision loomed ominous and nightmarish; just the memory of it forced me to shudder. _She wouldn't want that. _My Bella was full of life. My Bella was so brave, so giving, so fascinated with the complexities of the world around her; a life lost in her mind was no life at all. And I could not allow her to simply wither and die, which was the consequence of taking no action. But to risk her soul? If she died, Heaven may embrace her, just as surely as I would be denied access, soulless as I was. What kind of eternity stretched before us if we were not together? I had to consider what she wanted, what she'd made me promise. Unbidden, the words of the janitor's song from the hospital came back to me:

_Listen to the unspoken / I heard the love within / Listen to the unspoken / I heard healing begin / Listen_

_Though the words unspoken / Though his voice unheard / He took me when I was broken / He heard every word_

_Listen to the unspoken / Listen, keep your word well / Listen to the unspoken / No more an empty shell / Listen_

The song seemed to take on new meaning as it ran through my mind. I had listened to Bella, I had promised her. Yes, she was broken – healing, but still broken. But if she remained on this path, if Alice's vision were the state of things, Bella would be left an empty shell. I had prayed that day, prayed that God would not let her suffer. And, as if in answer to my prayer, the janitor came into the chapel with this song in his head, a song only I would hear. _Oh._

The pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and I understood the task before me. She must be made aware of who I was, of what she and I had shared, of what we were together. Then she could decide, then I could take action. I would offer to change her; the choice would still be as it had always been – hers. .

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><p>Once my decision had been made, a strange excitement grew inside me. I was on edge and anxious, anticipating the moment she would know again and choose. The hour dragged by in an agonizing adagio punctuated in an excruciatingly torpid tempo by the trickling rain. I found myself straining to hear the sound of Alice's car on the highway and the tenor of her mind as she approached. The others had not yet returned, and my isolation wore against my nerves.<p>

Too excited to pace, too tense to act, I turned to my piano, my solace. My fingers caressed the keys, a welcome touch like an old friend. The music flowed from my hands without thought or strain, my confusion taking note in crescendos, my need providing the undertones with pianissimo. I wandered in the song, losing my torment and focus in the strains and notes. The decisions I'd come to took the thrust and melody, discordant and chaotic, though driving forward with purpose and determination. Soon, Bella's lullaby weaved itself into the tones, lending understanding and solidarity to the music and calming my inner turmoil.

I followed as the music led me away from myself and down the path of our lives together. The road was sweet though never smooth, always a contradiction of need and normalcy, desire and regret. It stretched before me like one of Alice's visions, unwinding our existence into one common thread. As the music unfurled, a new strain united with the melody, and the thoughts of my sister gave direction to the song. Alice's mind announced her arrival before the sound of the wheels against the gravel. _The rain will stop, will start, will stop again. She will follow, will listen, will hear again._ Her head was full of flash-forward views, countless eternities unraveling. She drove absently, turning onto the drive and pulling into the garage. I let the song find its finish, and pushed the bench back as I stood to face the garage.

"Edward," Bella breathed as she entered the living room. Her lisp was more pronounced, and she spoke as though her tongue were too large in her mouth. Her left hand curled against her side, drawing claw-like next to her body. She limped toward me, dragging her left foot a little as she moved to embrace me. I was stunned by the sudden manifestations of her condition and could not tear my eyes away from her. A play of light caught my eye, and I spied the ring I'd given her sparkling from her ring finger. A moment of a thrill coursed through me, settling in my stomach and lighting my nerves.

My arms flung open automatically, welcoming her into the home of my embrace. _She doesn't remember, Edward, I'm so sorry._ The pictures in her mind faded to dust and decay, and Alice's thoughts took on the pallor of sympathy and regret as she watched from the doorway. _She insisted she put it on when we left Charlie's. She said she doesn't know why, but she thought it was important. When are you leaving?_

My brow furrowed as she asked the question. I had no intention of going anywhere at the moment; but as my thought unfolded, I saw the vision Alice held behind the question. It wasn't my idea, but it was the perfect setting for what I knew must take place. My body tensed, and Bella pulled back, looking into my eyes. She was so quick to read my moods.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing, love," I cooed to her, letting my muscles relax.. "I'm happy to see you. I've been missing you, and wondering if you'd like to go for a little drive."

"With you?"

"Yes. Someplace you used to go, somewhere for us. So we can talk," I explained, speaking softly, hoping to persuade her without causing concern. "A little day trip, that's all."

"Okay. Do I need a –"

"No," Alice interrupted. "The rains just about done for the day. It's going to be very pretty."

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><p>Bella watched through the window as the world whisked by. "How long have I lived here?"<p>

"It's actually been a very short time – going on two years." She sucked her lip between her teeth, grinding on the soft flesh.

"Where did I live before that?"

"In Phoenix, Arizona, with your mother and stepfather."

"And when did we meet?"

"On your first day of school here in Forks."

Her gaze shifted down to her hands in her lap. "Did I like you right away?"

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "I hoped you did, but I couldn't tell."

"I didn't tell you?"

"No. It took a while before we actually communicated in any significant way," I explained. "But from the first moment I saw you, I knew my life would never be the same."

"It's hard to believe I wouldn't have talked to you," she replied softly. She spoke as if her tongue were swollen and getting in the way. "That's just about all I want to do now – talk to you and be with you. You're just so … "

I waited for her to finish her thought, but she didn't speak again, her gaze returning to the passing scenery. Curiosity burned inside my brain, torturing me with words I wouldn't hear, but as wistful and thoughtful as she appeared I simply could not prompt her to finish. I pulled my eyes back to the road, trying to imagine what she might be thinking.

The silence stretched on between us as the world rushed by. "It's so _green_," she murmured as the forest became more dense. I had to smile; there had been nothing but greenery since we'd left the house. Suddenly, to the right of the car, and herd of elk jumped and ran, no doubt startled by the quiet whine of the engine. "Did you see that?" Bella gasped, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Yes, I did. Beautiful, aren't they?"

"Geez, they're huge! And so fast, they just dis- dis- um, were gone like," she raised her right hand to snap, but her fingers would not obey. My heart sank in empathy for her; her eyes darted to mine as I quickly looked away. "Like lightning," she finished flatly.

"They live here in the forests, and they _are_ fast. You don't see them all that often close to the road; many people miss them altogether – they have great camouflage. They're basically shy of humans, but if you see one, stand very still. They can be dangerous."

"Dangerous," she repeated, looking out the window again, and once again, lapsed into silence.

The pavement ended, and the marker for the trailhead came into view. I pulled the Volvo to a stop and turned off the ignition. Bella looked around, worry coloring her features. "I don't think I can, Edward." I opened my door, walking slowly around the car and opening hers. I held my hand out for her, and she slipped her tiny, warm hand into mine. Her gaze searched the surrounding forest, never meeting mine. "I'm afraid I'll fall."

I drew her arm around my waist, pulling her close to my chest. "Bella, would I let you fall?"

"I don't think s-s-so," she stammered, and the tell-tale flutter of her heart explained her hesitancy.

"I'll carry you," I said, turning in the embrace so my back was to her. "Hop on."

"Uh, okay. You probably won't get far."

"Let me worry about that," I replied, chuckling lowly. "But this is a surprise, Bella, so please, close your eyes." I paused for a moment. "Are they closed?"

"Yes."

"Good. Please don't open them – I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"Uh, okay," she answered, then quickly added. "Edward? Have we done this before?"

"Done what, Bella?"

"Have you… Have you carried me like this before? She repositioned her legs around my hips, and the sensation stirred the memories of the first time I'd been this close to her, the warmth of her center against my back, driving my desire to dangerous levels. The perfume of her skin wafted around me, arousing my senses and bringing the memory of the burn in my throat that was now all but non-existent.

"Yes, I have. Why do you ask?"

She tightened her hold around my neck and leaned into my back. "No reason." I lurched forward in a dead run, speeding through woods beneath the green canopy. I gave myself over to the run allowing myself to fly.

Not a full minute had passed when the green gave way to the brilliant light. I slowed, still holding Bella's legs around me. "Okay, Bella, you can open your eyes." Her grip immediately loosened and I felt her pull back as she slid down my back.

Everything was brilliant and glittering, awash with the colors of early summer and the passing showers. The perfect circle of the flowers and grass twinkled and winked in the sunlight, a beautiful ring of brightness welcoming us home.

We stood side by side, looking out over our meadow. "I remember this," she breathed, and I twisted where I stood to gape at her. She was wide-eyed and unblinking, her gaze sweeping out over the yellow, purple, white flowers before us, but also lost in some other memory as well. "You brought me here before. You weren't sure about me then."

"Yes," I breathed, unable to move. I watched her as her eyes shifted over the grass, the trees, coming to rest on the place we had touched for the first time.

"You were – you look different in the sun…"

"Yes." I whispered, afraid to speak or breathe, lest I break the enchantment of her memory. I stood stock still.

"You said… You said you saw what people thought, but you couldn't hear me. You… I…. We - Oh!" Her pale features were painted with bright scarlet blotches as the memory took hold. I watched as her eyes darted from side to side, her mouth open in remembrance. She inhaled a sharp breath, and her hands rose involuntarily to her temples. She rubbed her temples, her left hand still curled in upon itself.

You promised me…, " she trailed off.

"Bella!" Her body lurched forward, then collapsed into a lifeless heap in my arms. "Bella! Bella, no, love, come back, come back to me!" Her lids fluttered and her lips trembled, but her body still hung limp and listless in my arms. "Oh God, no Bella. No! What have I done?" I clutched her lax and unresponsive body to my chest, listening to her shallow breaths.

I howled in despair, rocking her in my arms, my eyes squeezed shut against the sight of her soft and slack form. Her name fell from my lips in prayer, beseeching the Almighty to spare her one more time. I was lost, afraid, hopeless…

A warm caress returned me to the here and now, and I opened my eyes. Bella's fingers brushed my brow, stroked the skin below my eye, and softly touched my lips. "It's okay, Edward. It's okay. I remember now. Everything's going to be okay."

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><p><strong><em>Please review.<em>**


	20. Chapter 20: Interrupted

_**A/N: Thank you for all those who left reviews. It's been a hectic week, with RL kicking down my door and taking names. But I'm happy to bring this chapter to you, my loyal readers. This one was significant for me, and I really hope you enjoy it as well. **_

_**Big, big, huge thank yous go to my faithful and relentless beta, Mr. Bigg. There are no words. Honestly, I don't think I could have done this without you unflagging honesty and support. Thank you so much. I'd also like to thank twilightmomlg and Spunky. You two know why, but I don't know if you know how much I care. Thank you. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 19: <strong>Carlisle leaves Edward to come to a decision about Bella's treatment. With the house empty, Edward agonizes over the choice to change Bella. He remembers her wishes before the accident and the message brought to him at the hospital, and decides he will change her once she is aware of all it entails and agrees. He takes her to the meadow to talk to her in a comforting place, when she regains her memory.

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><p><strong>Interrupted<strong>

"Bella?" She'd closed her eyes, seeming to drift. I stared at her, my eyes wide in disbelief. Had she said she remembered? "Bella, what did you say?"

"Mm, Edward. I remember everything, our wedding, Stoney Man, the first time we -," she broke off, allowing the crimson flush to her cheeks finish the thought.

I scooped her into my arms and shot to standing. "Bella! Oh sweet love, you remembered!" I danced with her in my arms, jumping and twirling and leaping amongst the bright flowers. She giggled as I leapt, a magical, musical sound. Her hair flowed around my face, a living cascade of scent and sensuality. "My Bella, my Bella…"

Her hands cupped my face, and she looked into my eyes. I let her body slide down mine, engulfing her in a kiss of passion and joy. She jerked back away from me, her hand rising to her lips. "Ow," she said softly, and a tiny drop of blood appeared on her lip. She pulled her lip into her mouth, rolling her pink and perfect tongue over it and covering her mouth with one hand. Her eyes popped open is astonishment and fear as she tasted the blood. "Sorry!"

"Bella," I cooed, holding her gaze. The smell of her blood was strong in the air, but all I felt was the need to soothe her from the injury I'd caused. "That's my script. I am so sorry – in my exuberance, I forgot myself for a moment. Are you all right?"

"You're not… thirsty?"

"No, I'm not," I said, setting her on her feet but not releasing her. "I need to know how badly you're injured, though. I was stupid and thoughtless."

"Edward. Kiss me," she breathed.

I knew the taste of her blood still lingered in her mouth, but I had no idea how luscious and satisfying the combination of her blood and tongue could be. I was immediately rock hard, needy, and unable to stop kissing her. As the blood began to dissipate, she pulled back and I did not stop her, letting my hands fall to my sides as I gaped at her. Biting her lip, grinding it with her teeth, she looked up at me through her lashes. "Do it again," she whispered, and the blood was a crimson rose blossoming against her petal soft lip.

I raised my hands to cup her face, knowing the downy softness of her skin would remind me of her fragility. I leaned forward, swiping my tongue against her bottom lip. I touched her with my hands and tongue only, keeping my want burning within my body. Her taste was ambrosial and fragrant, a mélange of sexual succulence and delicious desire. She leaned towards my body, her hand grasping at my belt to pull me to her.

"Edward, I want you. I've always wanted you," she said, lisping as she pulled me closer. "With the accident, I almost lost you. I need you, now, tell me you need me, too."

"Bella, I need you," I breathed into her mouth. "Not just today," I kissed her soft lips. "Not just sexually," I kissed her throat. "I need you to live, to be complete. I can't exist without you." I stared into her eyes, and time became meaningless. I crushed her to me, and I knew it would take all my strength not to hurt her, not to rip the clothes from her body. My hands could not caress her enough; my mouth slid over her neck, her ear, her jaw. I was not the only one affected; Bella's right hand tore at my clothes, while her left, still curled in on itself, tangled in my hair. "Bella, let me show you. Let me show you how I need you."

A quick nod was all the encouragement I needed. My shirt became a makeshift blanket, and I pulled us down onto it. Though the flowers still cradled the recently-fallen rain, Bella pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it to the field. The damp flowers shook little rivulets onto her skin, running down, leaving trails exactly where my tongue would follow. I pushed away my shoes and pants, leaving me naked and erect. A drop of precum leaked from the tip my achingly hard cock, and I longed to sheath myself in her warmth. Bella read my need and kissed me, pushing me down to lie flat as she moved to her knees. She did not break the kiss, her tongue curling around mine, stroking, sucking. Her left hand cupped my ear as she undid and slid out of her pants, and positioned herself over me.

"I trust you," she lisped as her eyes bore into mine and she slid her hot, silky center over my hardness.

I was lost, I was home. All the emotions I thought long dead in me before she revived me clamored for attention. I wanted to thrust; I wanted to lie still. I studied her face as she lifted and plunged, taking my length within her. Each stroke was a symphony, each sigh a melody. My hands skimmed along her waist, joining behind her as I sat up. Face to face, breath to breath, I pushed myself deeper into her as she gazed into my eyes. The contact was so deep and intimate, so healing and renewing, I felt my breathing catch.

I ground my hips into her, letting her have my full, hard length. Her head fell backward, eyes closed and mouth open, her hair brushing my knees. She pressed tightly down onto me, the walls of her box closing in around me. She lifted her ass a little, and the familiar clench of her walls heralded her orgasm.

"Edward!" She began writhing and thrusting above me, riding me with wild abandon.

The sight was too much, I could hold on now longer. As I watched my baby come and ride and swoon, I shot my cum deep inside her. My orgasm felt as if it had come from somewhere deep inside me, from another dimension. "Ungh! Bella, oh fuck, ungh!" I was incoherent and babbling, fucked to idiocy by my wanton wet woman. She bounced atop me, taking all that I could give, and giving me all I could take.

After a moment, she stilled, her head on my shoulder, unmoving. I held her in my embrace, unwilling to move or lift her away. At long last, she lifted her head. "Edward? Why are you still hard? Didn't you… ?"

I chuckled softly. "Sweet love, yes, I came." I pointed to my chest. "Vampire? Remember? I'm afraid you bring out the horny seventeen year old in me. Are you uncomfortable? Should I – " I put my hands on her waist, shifting my hips to disengage.

"No, don't go, don't move. Let's just sit here like this for a while. Is that alright?" She scooted forward, and her eyes grew wide.

"It's more than alright, Bella." I pressed up with my hips, and was rewarded with a small gasp. She returned her hands to my shoulders, once again looking into my eyes.

"We probably should talk, huh."

"Probably. There's quite a lot to talk about." She shifted her hips, getting comfortable.

"Well, what do you want to talk about first?"

"You."

"Me? What about me?"

"Bella. Love. Don't ever leave me."

"I won't, Edward, ever." She punctuated the point by pushing up and sliding back down slowly, her eyes locked on mine. "I could never. Why would you say that?"

"Because I so nearly lost you," I whispered, my throat constricted with unshed tears "I'm afraid the next time, I won't be there, or I won't be quick enough, or…" My words trailed off; I was unable to finish considering the bleakness of the thought. I shook my head slowly, throwing off that desolate vision. "And there was nothing, nothing I could do but wait, hoping you would heal."

"And I did, Edward," she said, running her hands through my hair at the temples. The shift of her body forward did interesting things my cock. "And now my, my -, now I can remember, it's going to be ok."

"But you're not completely recovered, Bella," I said, reaching up for her left hand. "Look." I held her hand, gently uncurling the her twisted fingers. As I let go, each finger sprang back to it's coiled position. "How many times will you hurt yourself, or fall prey to some other tragedy? This," I brushed her hair away from her face. "This is going to take a lot of therapy, and quite a bit of time."

"No, Edward, it's not," she said sternly, leveling her gaze into my eyes. "You promised me."

"Do you truly remember what I promised?"

"Yes. You promised to change me, to make me like you," she said, still looking into my eyes. "Then we can be together. Forever." As the last word fell from her mouth, she clenched her sex around me, adding emphasis to the meaning of the word.

"Sweetheart, I need you." I held her close to my still heart that ached with all I felt for her, unwilling to move or lift her away.

"I need you, too, Edward. I need you to want me, to love me." Her lisp was more pronounced, affected by her deep emotions. She lifted her hips, then ground them down into my groin.

"I do, love. I do," I uttered, pushing my hips up, filling her with my love muscle. Her nipple danced in my face, and I reached out tentatively with my tongue, tasting as it bounced up and down. She saw what was happening and leaned forward just as a breeze blew from behind her. Suddenly, there were no trees, no woods, no meadow – nothing, save the goddess who rode me, bathed in crimson.

I recognized the sign immediately, trying to calm myself and reign in my desire. "Bella, please," I moaned, but she misunderstood, thinking I needed more. Her feet flattened to the ground and she alternated between standing and squatting, impaling herself over and over on the marble hardness of my cock. I feared for her; I could not move, I could not stop her movements. I lay there, lost between the shores of pleasure and terror, watching as my beloved held her hands to her chest, and I was enslaved by her passion and beauty.

My senses raged wildly: taste, smell, touch, and feel. I was alive, verging on the unknown, burning through an icy fire. It took all my will to remain motionless, watching, adoring, needing, wanting. The crimson glaze incinerated my groin, and I felt Bella's orgasm approach. And suddenly, I heard.

_I think it was over this way._ Leah, far away, but running fast in our direction. _Come through the brush here, it's faster. _

_I smell a vampire, but only one. It's familiar… Fall back, Leah._

Leah and Jacob were flying through the forest, following the sound of Bella's exclamation and my scent. I came back to myself as Bella came, her hands falling forward to my shoulders. The scarlet glaze shatters into a thousand shards, my nerves still with sudden tension. They couldn't find us here, not like this, not with Bella so exposed.

"Bella," I hissed, pulling the shirt from below me. I threw it over us, covering as much of Bella as I could. "Don't sit up – someone's coming." Their voices were clearer now, closer. I pulled away, leaving her in a heap as I dashed to the opposite edge of the meadow. "Jacob! No!" I shouted, my hand thrust out in warning just as Jacob the wolf burst through the trees.

_What the hell? Is that… Were they… Oh my God. _He swallowed convulsively and shuddered. _Leah, stop, don't come any closer! _The double timbre of the alpha sounded in his mental command, and Leah skidded to a halt a hundred feet back.

"Oh no," Bella gasped in horror. My head shot around to see her; she was huddled beneath my shirt, a small human ball of a girl, trying with all her might to become invisible.

"Jacob, don't come any closer. _Please_." He stood there, huge and menacing, gaping. If I'd ever wondered what confusion would look like on a wolf's face, that curiosity had definitely been satisfied. His breath came in huffs, and he shifted side to side on his huge paws. "Can we talk?"

_Step back. _He raised to his back legs, phasing to human in front of me.

"Jacob."

"Bloodsucker. Don't tell me you can't afford a hotel room." He lifted his hand and pointed to where Bella lay. _This is really sick. I can smell your footfall all around this place. This place something to you? This where you take _all_ the girls?_

"It's not that," I explained, realizing before I began how flimsy the explanation sounded. "And she is the only girl. I brought her here to help with her memory, and things just… got out of hand."

"Uh huh. So, did it work? Did she get her memory back?" He was less scoffing, gentling as he asked after her welfare.

"Yes, she did."

"Huh." His thoughts were guarded, but he couldn't get the idea out of his head, and his stomach churned. "Well, you're safe from the rest of the pack here. Leah and I…" His thoughts finished what his words did not. He was looking for the same sort of place, a place special for him and Leah, a place to be intimate and copulate.

At the mention of her name, Leah's head became visible in the woods. She couldn't bear the separation from Jacob, moving to a vantage point without coming closer. She saw Jacob's naked back, and her thoughts were filled with pride and ownership; then she saw my naked form in front of him. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open and her thoughts went blank.

"I understand, Jacob."

He snorted in scoff. "I bet you do. At least that's one thing we have in common, trying to find a safe place."

It was my turn to chuckle. "Right," I said in agreement. We had nothing more to say, no further common ground. My nakedness became a weight, an embarrassment, and we both ducked our heads in awkwardness.

"Well, okay then." He turned his back to me and phased, already in flight before the transformation was complete. Leah saw his thoughts, snarling and snapping in revulsion. _Could we think about something else, Leah? Let's go back towards home. _It wasn't a command, but instead, a lover's request. _We'll go find somewhere else, somewhere there are no nosey vampires around. _They took off then, flying through the woods, searching for their own trysting place.

"It's okay, love," I said, turning back to Bella. But the meadow was empty. I ran back to where we had lain, pulling on my shirt and pants, listening. The sound of the fleeing wolves pulled away from me; I listened for her dainty footsteps. She was trudging and cursing through the surrounding forest, but heading in the wrong direction. I smiled – it was so Bella.

I ran following her scent and sound. She was close when I heard her exclaim. "Aagh!" Her voice cut off unnaturally and my stomach sank. "Bella…"

I sped through the forest like a guided missile, zeroed in on my target. The smell of her blood filled the air, painting my lungs with panic. She lay amongst the fallen trees and bracken, her sweet, sweet blood flowing around her. Anguish seized me as I bent over her.

"I tried…," she breathed, her voice weak and powerless. "I… was… embara–, " she broke off, out of breath. She tried to look at her chest, her abdomen, her face pulling into a grimace. "I'm sor-,", she panted heavily, then her head fell back lank and slack, her eyes closed.

Frantically, I tore through the muck surrounding her, looking for the villainous material that had injured her. A small, white bone from beneath Bella's left side caught my eye. I lifted her limp body gently. The shed antler of a adult male elk clung to her back, piercing her clothing and skin. Gently, I pulled the pedicel, trying to free her of the injury. She groaned as the antler fell away, and I saw the horror of her wounds.

The antler had missed her spine, but stabbed into her lung. The bone of the rack was bloodied, the stain close to four inches. _Oh no. Could it have pierced her heart?_ I struggled for composure, listening to the only sound that mattered. Her heart still beat, but it was erratic and slowing in her limp, lifeless body. I was unsure. There was no time. There was no time. She would never make it back to Carlisle. There was no time.

"Bella, love, forgive me. Forgive me, please," I cried, and sunk my teeth into her jugular.

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><p><em><strong>Please review.<strong>_


	21. Chapter 21: Crimson

_**A/N: Thank you for staying with me this far. I know many of you would have liked me to post more quickly; each chapter takes its time unraveling. This one was no exception. I find the story sort of speaks to me in bursts, Edward whispering over my shoulder, and in this chapter, though it may be a bit shorter on word count, I think you'll find he had a lot to say. For those of you who reviewed faithfully, this chapter is for you. **_

_**I would be remiss if I didn't give a thank you to my faithful and kind beta, Mr. Bigg. Thank you for inspiring me and pushing me onward; for listening with compassion while I sniveled about being 'stuck', and for forcing me back to the drawing board once I had my big boo hoo. I mean it when I say, I couldn't do it without you. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 20: <strong>Edward and Bella reunite sexually in the meadow. They sit together, still physically joined, talking about Bella's recovery and Edward's fear of losing her when they start to make love again. Edward sees crimson as he hears Jacob and Leah approaching the opposite side of the meadow. Edward covers Bella with his shirt, and runs naked to talk to Jacob, trying to keep Bella's nakedness secret. Jacob agrees to go, but when Edward returns, Bella's already gone, fleeing in her embarrassment. Edward races to where she is just as she falls backward onto a shed antler. Her lung and heart were compromised in the fall, so Edward bites her to try to save her.

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><p><strong>Crimson<strong>

Bella writhed in pain, but no sound escaped her; her eyes did not open. Her hot hands that had been my tether and my release, fell listlessly to her sides as her body sagged to limpness. Warm wetness flowed through my fingers. I jerked my hand from her back, only to find it covered in blood. Her blood.

"Bella! Bella! Can you hear me?" I shook her shoulders, trying in desperation to rouse her. Nothing changed, save the slowing of her heartbeat, her life ebbing away. I flipped her over, tearing her blouse away from the blood-frothed, gaping wound. The thirst gnawed at my resolve, threatening to consume me, but panic kept that monster at bay. No, I would not allow it. Her sweet, sweet blood pulsed and dribbled from the gory hole, a hideous mockery of my need. Venom pooled in my mouth reflexively; I sucked my teeth, puddling the poison around my tongue, then pushed the toxic contagion forward, flooding the gore with my venom.

It would not hold. The pulse of her dying heart splattered blood through the venom; the wound was deep. I covered the wound with my mouth, pushing the poison forward, pulling the blood away. Urgency lit my nerves, stole my breath, dulling my senses, but still the sweetness of her blood tore down my defenses, ripping at my restraint. I could not cease; Bella's existence depended on my strength to change her before her wounds took her away from me. Every physical aspect of my love laid manifest before me, here, in this dying girl. The blood bubbled forth without fail; I pushed the pooled venom more deeply, listening to her heart, staunching the flow by drinking. The ambiguity warred within me: I poisoned her, fed on her, all for her salvation. The warmth of her withering blood flowed down my body, perversely arousing me through the frantic pace to save her. I fought the reprehensible need, focusing my strength and effort on Bella.

She did not stir. She barely breathed. The beat of her heart slowed like the rhythm of a dirge fading into the mist. She lay limp and dead in my arms as regret and remorse warred with reproach within me, as I gaped at her beauty lying breahtless in my arms. Even in death, she was beyond compare. _Breathe, Bella, please. _I was too late; these were her final moments, shattered as she perished, and I, I could do nothing to save her, nothing to heal her. I hung my head in resignation and surrender, sighing and seizing her to my chest, our final touch, our last embrace, inhaling deeply the final sweet scent that had been my Bella.

The ambrosial air filled my senses and suddenly, without warning, the cosmos pitched and tilted, and bathed in a crimson kaleidoscope, I was no longer of this world. The scent itself was irresistible, beckoning, love and desire swirling around me in a blood-red haze. Horrorstruck, my eyes were wide, witnessing nothing, unable to rationalize the burgundy sight before me; time became meaningless. My wife, my breath, my Bella, her skin pink beneath the glaze, still save the last few beats of her dying heart, arrhythmic and labored, a red balloon trailing behind her in defeat, my defeat, my failure, my inability to keep her safe, to keep her warm, the taste of her blood so intoxicating so hypnotic, sanguinary and sensual, yet for all my struggles in titian light, I could not warm her I could not protect her I could not save her, losing the battle before it was begun, before she was begun, her life so small and so fragile and so short, too short, escaping down a dark brick tunnel away from me, my stone body now hard, traitorous, erect, wanting, abhorrent, tasting as she is lost to me by my own doing, I failed, I failed to protect her from this panicked scarlet from the bloody mantle that now hid her light, her brightness, her fire, now stealing her birthright her life, her everything, taking her away from me away down the red path as her life bled away, away away always away from me never toward something, something better for her, something… something she could live for not something to die for like today,something to live for, to strive towards, something to look to, they search, _They're around… _but I search for you, your love, through the rufescentfog _They're over here, Carlisle!_ I shout from the rooftops but there is no response_ Tell Emmett! Over here! Oh Carlisle, hurry, _Bella, come back to me _she's hurt! And something… something is terribly wrong with Edward. _her taste, her blood, son cœur sacré sur le chemin sanglant, running _Lift them up, We'll take them back to the Jeep. Is he all right, Carlisle? He's not moving and barely breathing.. _away from embarrassment, away from me falling into the arms of death, her death, her bright crimson death that funneled around me, plunging me to the spiraling depths _Lift him gently, _I can't do this alone_ I think he's traumatized and in shock._ there is no answer without you _Put her over here, Alice,_ no future_ get the gauze – _no salve for my wounds without _oh, thank you, yes there's no sense in stitching,_ without you I am garnet scarred and unhealed_ it's already beginning to close _insanity taking its hold, my sanity _Pick her up carefully, _lost_ she's still human _only barely holding on _but only barely alive. _I remain here in this meadow _We need to get back to the house as soon as_ beside you _we can. We're going to have to think of something _forever, my love, my love _to tell Charlie. _my Bella as she drifts her heartbeat failing, fading _Let's get them to the house _I will remain with you _and get them _separate from you_ cleaned then. Edward, try to hold on, son. _Detached from my mind, lost in the bloodshot nightmare of the weapon stabbing her lung and heart, her sweet heart, pumping scarlet fire from the depths of her soul, the life she gave to me for protection, the life I let slip away and wither, the love I gave and lost, I love thee, I love but thee, my Bella, my sweet heart, dripping through my careless fingers like blood-drenched sands in the hourglass of life, the life together we will never have, the family she will never fully know because I waited, my own misgivings, garnet regret, taking over what could have saved her, what could have kept her here with me, beside me, close to me, _They just picked up and left, Charlie._ part of me, you lips against mine_ Right._ your hand_ Eloped._ in mine, together_ I think they didn't want all the fuss of a big wedding is all._ your heart_ Didn't Edward ask you? _next to mine_ I can't say I'm really_ to hear you breathe_ happy about it either – I had big plans _my name, say it_ for the wedding. Mm, what? _to hear you say it again_ Really, you want to do that? Well maybe we could _I could live again, never hearing more _arrange something when they get back._ than that word_ I really hadn't thought about it. _I am a selfish creature, I want nothing less than all of you, nothing more than you beside me _Will you call Renee, or should I? _forever, ever single day of forever _No, I can do it, Charlie… _all to myself _Really?_ In my arms_ Oh_ loving_ Charlie,_ laughing_ that'd be great. I'm just so_ until you were exhausted_ worn out from all the excitement. _clutching her now through the unstaunched insignificance left to me, I will not let go, eyes look your last, feel my body burn for you my Bella my love my beating heart, my everything, lost lost lost marooned in this life, leaving me empty, useless, wrestling with my own defeat, flagellating my sins, my vanity, my loss, my downfall, doubt thou the stars are fire, my love, come back to me _She's still as stone, Carlisle, _return my love _but her heart is still beating. I'm not sure what it all means. Do you know? _Bella please come back to me _I've never actually seen_ save me, love before_ a vampire lose his mind, _from this torturous path _though I'd had my suspicions quite a few times._ this well-worn path of guilt and regret _This is new territory for all of us._ save me_ Once her wounds healed,_ heal me_ I had hoped he would snap out of it. _your smile, your laugh, your warmth, your love, I need you, I have never needed you more than this moment as crimson regret slips through my fingers, staining me with your life, your sweet blood, I savor each moment and reject each taste, each sweet and ambrosial nectar, your warmth where are you I can't feel you there my Bella, the red has blotted my sight, I am blinded without your love to shine, please come back to me, I am alone and lost _Try talking to him._ don't leave me here with this festering failure, this desolate incarnadine world without hope without love without you I can't go on without you, _Hang on, bro. You can make it through this. _I won't go on without you, I will watch the world unravel and spin and dissolve, bleeding into nothingness, where is my place now, fettered and shackled to a land of crimson loneliness and desolation, where is my purpose with you gone, what use forever if there is no love, no you, I am lost, I can hear them _Edward, can you hear me, son? _but nothing is worth hearing if it is not you I hear them _Bella's still alive. _but I cannot move, I cannot, will not leave your side, never again, the taste of your blood is fresh in my mouth, disgusting monster that I am_ What do you see, Alice? _I rejoice in the feast and _Are they going to be okay? _remorse in the loss, never heeding as your too short life trails away, a deflating red balloon broken and dying, lofting to the ground, cover me cover me with your love, bury me beneath earth as long as I am at your side, beside you, never to leave, only then, only then can I know peace, only then can I be fulfilled but never happy, never again to feel the joy of your smile, your blush, the taste of your skin, the hot wetness of your love, doubt that the sun doth move, your soft tongue, your words, your thoughts are too interesting, I could never stay away, never let you leave, though I tried to deny your beauty, your mesmerizing lips, your captivating thoughts, you always fascinated me, the unexpected blush, the rubicund pucker of your mouth, always too beautiful, much too beautiful I could not stay away _What do you mean, he hasn't decided? _I am a fool, I am a failure, I could not keep you from damaging yourself, _What is there to decide?_ I wanted to save you from yourself, save you for me, for us, together, why didn't I change you sooner, why didn't I listen to Alice, _Edward _now you're gone, death where is thy sting, gone, slipping away _please try to hold on _empty hollow, the ruby nothingness _Make up your mind to hold on _all that is left to me, empty as the words, _Everything will be all right if you just decide to hold on _doubt truth to be a liar leaving me lost in this world of crimson regret, grieving without words without song without the music that had been the weak replacement of my soul, now there is nothing, I have nothing, I am nothing, nothing without you and you are gone, where is my love where is my life, my light _Edward, I can feel your confusion, brother _oh sweet Bella, save me from this nightmare_ It will pass, I swear it _I want to be strong _Feel my words _I want to be strong for you_ Edward, fight_ but I am so lost without you, without your love I am nothing, nothing withoutyou love, your love, I need your love to live, I cannot bear the ruddy agony of life alone another day, another minute, another moment, solitude damns me, my long existence torture without you, pain I cannot endure, pain I have endured all my life until you, sweet Bella, my wife, my love, my beating heart _Edward_ with a love that shall not die never doubt I love remember Bella _You have to hold on _remember your promise, your promise to me, till the sun grows cold and the stars grow old _Bella will come back to you, Edward _I am yours and no other, I love but thee, so dear I love, you spoke these words to me, do not abandon me, my love, rise again _I've seen it, Edward. Hear my thoughts _speak those words of our troth, be my beloved, oh Bella, forgive me, do not die, _See what I see _tarry with me, with you, all deaths I could endure, without you, live no life, _Then you'll know what I know _I know no magic to bring you back, save the vow you spoke to me, these words you gave to me, are they meaningless as I am now, are they puce putrefaction, soil on my bloody tongue, forgive me my sweet, forgive my absence that let such a fate befall you, come back to me, curse me, hate me, but do not leave me, I cannot endure, I will not endure, save me, Bella, my safe haven, shelter me from the storm but you are lost to the wind _Edward? Look!_ thrown asunder from me and lost _See? _drowning_ Bella's looking better, honey _that first kiss_ Please come back to us._ that first breath of your scent_ I just don't know what I'll do_ your scent my undoing, your scent my protector, I have remained under your spell, your slave and I remain so even in your death _You're really upsetting everything and everyone _unmovable _I know you can hear me _unreachable, stuck in the magenta mire of silence, confined and strangulated, tormented for the loss of you, aching to hold you, lost alone in a love day, anguish blazing down my nerves, never to love again left to mourn and _Edward, son, she breathes_ meander in the chaos of this world without you _she's changing_ devoid of love without you to teach me _You haven't lost her, son, listen to me _there are no words, no healing for this scarlet sadness leaving me without voice, without will, without, never to sing again where is the music what is its worth without you in this dahlia gloom where are you my angel, my sweet love my one my only my everything

"Edward?"

I could not move. I knew that voice, though it carried a timbre I'd never heard before.

"Edward, I'm here. Come back to me."

My lips trembled. "Bella?" I searched the room as sight returned and focus took hold. "_Bella?_"

From the foot of the table where I lay, the heavens opened and an angel sang. "Yes, Edward. It's me. We made it."

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><p><em><strong>Please review. I wish I could tell you how much I crave to hear what you're thinking. It's starting to wind down now, so please take the opportunity to tell me what you want to see. Thank you!<strong>_


	22. Chapter 22: Breaking

_**A/N: Hello, Team Crimson! Thanks for staying with the story this far. I hope you like this chapter. It's a little longer than usual, and purposely so. I have a feeling these last few chapters are all going to be a bit longer. Hopefully, that won't take longer to post. **_

_**My ever-loving beta, Mr. Bigg, really had to suffer me through this chapter, with my constant self-doubt and general whininess. You are a better man than I, Gunga Din, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. **_

_**Lastly, just a quick apology to those who had trouble reading the last chapter: I know some conditions make that chapter really difficult to get through, and I swear, I wasn't trying to vex you. If you couldn't read it, let me know. I do have the same material in a more consumable form.**_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 20: <strong>Edward holds Bella as her blood flows away from her. He feels impotent and lost, believing Bella is dying. He falls into a crimson trance where he laments the loss of this wife and regrets his delay in changing her. The Cullens try to talk to him to bring him out of whatever has him under this spell, but nothing rouses him until he hears his beloved's voice calling him home.

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><p><strong>Breaking<strong>

"Edward?"

I could not move. I knew that voice, though it carried a timbre I'd never heard before.

"Edward, I'm here. Come back to me."

My lips trembled. "Bella?" That voice! The heavens opened and released me from the crimson thrall. My beloved called me back to the world, back to love; it was the only song I craved, the only home I knew. My eyes fluttered open, though I could not remember closing them. I searched the room as sight returned and focus took hold. "_Bella?_"

From the foot of the table where I lay, the heavens opened and an angel sang. "Yes, Edward. It's me. We made it."

"Bella!" Joy and elation gripped me, lifting me off the table and into her arms in one fluid move. My fingers yearned to touch her skin, to feel her burning warmth. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, inhaling my scent as I stood before her. I slid my fingertips carefully up the sides of her neck beneath her glossy, luxuriant hair. I cupped the back of her scalp, immediately sensing the shift in her temperature and knowing it meant only one thing.

"Bella?" She tilted her face to mine and opened her ruby eyes. Her brows pulled together, expectant, and her eyes held some flicker of fear. What could she fear from me? I stared deep into the crimson depths of her eyes, feeling the windows to her soul open and melt. "So beautiful," I said, trailing my fingertips down the sides of her neck. "We're the same temperature now."

Her gaze bounced to my eyes, searching for something to release her worry. I could not look away; after enduring the everlasting torture of believing her dead, I would never look away. My bride stood before me, needing, willing me to give her what she wanted, but I had no idea what it was. "What is it, love?"

"Am I… what you expected? Am I too different?" Her words were soft and breathy, choked with genuine fear.

Without dropping my hands, I stooped to bring my eyes to her level. "You are as magnificent as the first time I beheld your beauty, my love." She was so close, oozing need and desire. I leaned in and kissed her as gently as I could.

Bella clung to my arms, pulling herself into the kiss and wrapping herself around me. This was the kiss I had longed for all my existence, a kiss of deep desire and physicality with a need so strong it took my breath away. My libido flared. Instantly, I was stiff with sexual exigency, leaning into her scent, ready to take her. Thoughts buzzed in my head, but so enveloped in her intense embrace was I that the meaningless hum of mental activity droned on without impact. I kissed her, gently pouring my rapture into her mouth, returning her love while restraining my baser need, trying to convey my joy at her recovery without damaging her. And just as the thought crossed my mind, she tugged me closer still and my body strained and drew into painful creases. "Ow."

She instantly pulled away from me, dropping her hands to her side and biting her lip, concern once again pinching her features. The buzzing of thought took shape, and the twinges of discomfort from our spectators blossomed to full-blown embarrassment within me. A soft ripple of uneasy laughter flooded through the room as Bella looked into my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Her voice was tentative, fretful.

"You're just a little stronger than I am right now, Bella," I smiled, pushing her hair away from her face, letting it fall in a tumble down her back. "But yes, love, I'm more than all right, now that you are here with me."

"Edward," Carlisle breathed, his thoughts a rush of relief and emotion. I glanced at his face, reading the same reprieve from worry in his eyes. _Edward, we were so worried. While she changed, your body… _And the pictures flooded through his thoughts, showing me the aging and restoration that had flashed across my features as I lay lost. Bella lay beside me, slowly changing, polishing, each flaw morphing into perfection as I withered and renewed, reconstituting. _I thought we were going to lose you. _

"Carlisle, you haven't lost your son," I said, placing my hands on Bella's shoulders, and gently turning her to face my waiting family behind us. The statues that were my family waited breathlessly, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle protecting their mates. "You've gained a daughter. Bella Cullen, please meet the rest of your family."

She smiled nervously, her lip still between her teeth. Her hand raised in a timid wave as I stepped behind her.

Alice was the first to break the line. "Oh Bella!" she gasped, flinging her arms around her neck. "And Edward! I couldn't stop worrying even though I _knew_." She turned back to Bella. "Now we're really sisters. You look –" She broke off, darting away from her without another word. I chuckled softly at Alice's enthusiastic flight, as Esme replaced her absence.

"Bella, sweetheart, we're so happy you're with us. And you brought Edward back," she smiled, her hand lifting to caress my cheek. "Are you feeling all right, Edward? No more spells?"

"I'm well, mother," I said tenderly, looking into her eyes, grasping her hand with mine and placing a kiss in its palm. The concerns that had plagued her seemed to shrivel and float away as she watched my eyes.

"I'm so happy for both of you, and for us, having you here in our arms," she whispered, emotion taking her voice. She leaned in, taking Bella in her arms, just as Alice returned with the hall mirror.

"Esme, pardon me. Bella has to see," she grunted as she set the mirror on the floor. She titled it upward, capturing Bella's reflection in the glass. "Well, what do you think?"

Bella stepped away from me, and I immediately felt the loss. Her hand reached toward the mirror as if to touch her reflection, and satisfaction buzzed in the minds of all my family as they watched, all save one.

Rosalie acknowledged Bella's undeniable beauty, but watched her with a care and sympathy I didn't believe her capable of until that moment. Her eyes were soft, warm. _It will always be this. This, and nothing more, Bella. _Her thoughts were not bitter or hateful, but laced with a longing that cut and tore as it flooded her thoughts. She ached to lean out and comfort Bella, to hold her and stroke her hair as a sister and equal, but recognized these feelings were her own and as yet, unknown to Bella. _Unknown for now,_ she thought and looked up at me. I tilted my head to one side and smiled sadly in appreciation of her regret and pain. For just a moment, I understood the intensity of her desires for a human life, for children, aging, and the freedoms it gave. But I watched as Rosalie's eyes hardened and she looked away, scowling. _You'd better not say anything to anyone. _I straightened, nodding, knowing that none here understood the depths of her pain. I turned back to Bella's entranced gaze at her new self.

My hands settled softly on her shoulders; her eyes glanced away from own reflection to meet mine in the mirror. A myriad of emotions danced in her crimson eyes. How startling this must all be – a new life, a new body, the emotions that warred inside… "Love, I know it's a lot to take in. Just stay calm, Bella." Her eyes darted to mine in the reflection, panic seizing her. "Sweetheart, you can do this."

"It's just there's so…so much room in my head, and so many things to consider…," she stammered, as her eyes became unfocused. "I never understood the thirst before." Her hand ran absentmindedly over her throat, and she swallowed convulsively, wincing in pain.

In the rush of acknowledgement saturating the room, I'd cast aside reality. The confusion and craving must have been nearly overwhelming, and I cursed myself inwardly for allowing her to suffer. I understood her thirst would be a singular constant for her in this new world. Bella stood so near to me, my body needed to feel her, confirm the reality of her being – a reality denied to me for the last few days. But her needs had to come first, and I had to help her, to guide her through this. She opened her mouth, trying to speak but lost in her dry craving. _No._ I would not let her suffer more. "Bella, let's hunt."

"Edward," Carlisle started. _Is that really a good idea for you? Alice and Jasper could go… _I ground my teeth in frustration. What matter was my being? Bella was in pain. I knew his concern was genuine and well placed, but I ignored his thoughts.

"Come, Bella."

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><p>Bella rushed through the woods like a wraith, as if she'd been born to this life. Delight overflowed from her lips effortlessly each time she discovered something new: jumping, running, and finishing first. Her joy was infectious; I could not resist joining in her elation, and laughter sprung from my lips nearly as often as it did from hers. She overtook me once again, then came to an abrupt stop as I shot past her.<p>

"Bella?" I turned and sped back to her side. "What's wrong?"

"Is it always this much fun?" Her breath came in excited little pants, though I couldn't read her expression.

"Usually, yes. It's very exhilarating." This didn't seem to change her expression. She stared at me wide-eyed, but otherwise blankly. "What is it, Bella?"

"It's just that, um," she bit her lip, and the endearing leftover nervous tic touched my heart. "I'm just beginning to realize how much you had to give to be with me when I was human."

"Bella, I assure you, I gave up nothing."

"Oh no? You could never out and out run with me around. Or jump. Or hunt." She hung her head. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I wish I had known."

I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into my arms. Her eyes were still downcast, so I slid my finger beneath her tiny chin. Her eyes could no longer hold her downward regard and fluttered open into my gaze. I smiled "The pleasure of being yours was the only sensation I craved, and now that we are together in this life, don't you think it's useless to be sad over what's past?" She slowly blinked in agreement, and when her eyes reopened, there was a new hunger burning. She pulled herself up on her toes, searching for my lips. I was only too happy to oblige. I opened my mouth, breathing her in.

I opened my eyes as we hit the ground, Bella atop me, still pushing her lips against mine. I pushed her shoulders back. "Love, weren't you the one who was thirsty?"

Abruptly, her hands clutched at her throat, freeing me from her grip. She stood immediately, thirst warring with embarrassment in her expression. "Everything is all mixed up, Edward. I can't decide what to do first!"

"I know, love. It's like that for all of us at first. Here," I said, standing behind her and turning her north with my hands on her shoulders. "Let's feed you first. Close your eyes. What do you hear?" The herd of seven elk was close, down by the tiny brook that ran off the river. I listened with her, letting the thunderous heartbeats overtake both of our senses.

"By a brook? Five of them?"

"Seven – two are back in the woods. Do you smell them?"

Her face scrunched into a disapproving grimace. "They smell… Well, they smell, Edward."

"Try concentrating on their heartbeat. Hear the wet thumping of their hearts —," I started, but I found myself gripping empty air. She'd already left my hands, speeding away toward the solution to slake her thirst. I chased after her, only to find her on her second kill as I approached. I slowed, watching her as she fed.

It was a strange thing, watching Bella sate her thirst. I had known this day would come, and had worried about how she would adapt long before it ever entered the realm of possibility. My imagination had never conjured the feelings I experienced now as I watched her. I was happy watching her feed so intently and proud of how she so readily adapted to this life with grace and skill. Her current disheveled appearance notwithstanding, of course. Her dress was torn, shredded, exposing a length of her naked, creamy thigh, now covered in blood. I could not look away; lustful emotions roused within me and I was transfixed. The savage inside me asserted himself, craving the blood as it soaked her skin – or was it craving the skin covered in blood? I couldn't' be sure. My body was tense and hard in many different ways, and a growl built in my chest, low and hungry.

Bella's eyes flashed to me, and she bared her bloody teeth. Immediately, I squatted, lowering my gaze in submission and hunching my shoulders inward, but my eyes never left her. My hungers were at high alert, and I could not disguise or disregard the need I felt. I continued watching her, motionless, considering the meaning of the word appetite and all the ways I could exercise those meanings with her.

A snarl pulled her lip over her teeth, and the sound of it broke her bewitchment. She dropped the deer and stood, realizing who I was and coming back to herself. "Edward," her voice soft and meek as her bloody hand reached toward me. "Forgive me. "I don't know what came over me."

I stood slowly, letting my muscles expand sinuously. I did not raise my gaze, nor did I look away from her. My expression grew dark as I glided toward her, hungry for everything that now stood before me. I reached for her crimson hand, lifting it to my lips. My tongue snaked out, tasting the blood mixed with Bella's sweet perfume as I sucked her fingers into my mouth, letting my tongue linger over each nail. A thrill of excitement and appetition coursed through me as the blood of her kill dampened my lips. Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated, a soft moan of pleasure rolling across her lips as her head lolled back in surrender. My hands dropped to her waist as she twisted her fingers in my hair.

I fell to my knees in worship, pushing the fabric away from her satiny thigh stained with blood. I wanted that thigh. My tongue was flat against her skin as I licked from the inside of her knee up to the top of her leg, coming to rest at her center. Her hands knotted in my hair, pulling me into her sex with unstoppable force. The smell of the blood mixed with the scent of her sex, intoxicating me and inflaming my desire. I closed my eyes, embracing the ecstasy of all my desires fulfilled as I inhaled deeply. I opened my eyes, unwilling to lose sight of the vision before me, and with a stunning sharpness, the world snapped into a crimson haze.

I remembered this nightmare all too vividly. I had been lost in my scarlet need only a short time ago, pining for the woman I believed lost to me forever. I couldn't risk jeopardizing her again; I would let nothing take her from my side, not even my own wicked, burning desire.

I forced my head again her hands, trying to pull away. "Bella, I -, I can't…," I mumbled against her skin and hair. I was unsure how much longer I could hold out with this delicious morsel of soft, seductive, scented skin so close and pressing into me. My entire body was rigid with restraint, when the amplified sound invaded my senses. _Leave them alone, you two. It would not be funny to go find them – they need to… Where could they have gone? Vegas? How much would it cost to get there by plane? I could probably get John to take my watch… That'll be eleven twenty-seven. Do you need a bag? It's a lot of candy. Here, and take our card, that's right – J.T. Sweet Stuff – and we can get more if… _The sanguinary thirst was nearly uncontrollable, and I knew I had to move. I grunted with effort and stood, ripping myself away from Bella.

For a moment, she held her hands aloft as if I still knelt before her. I could see the pain and shock she felt, etched in her frown, excitement dying in her eyes. She dropped her hands and shrank back, turning her back to me. I could hear her deep inhalations, choking on her emotions as she struggled for breath and composure. Faced with Bella's pain, the violent red haze drizzled into mist and bled away.

"Bella." My voice was hoarse from the effort of restraint. I ached to hold her again, taste her, be so near… Pain welled in the pit of my stomach as the distance stretched between us. I leaned forward to move to her side.

She whirled around to face me, palm extended and facing me. "Stay right there." Her expression was confusing; I expected pain, regret, anger. Instead, her face was taut with concentration, a fierce determination lighting her eyes. "I heard it, too, Edward."

"You heard… it?"

"Carlisle, Charlie, Janet at the store." She pointed to her head. "I heard them from your head, which can only mean one thing. "

"The crimson veil. Yes."

"I thought you only got that from restraint?" her voice rose in confusion. "I remember, from before… You got sick when you restrained yourself, especially around me."

"Yes, Bella."

A flash of agony ripped across her eyes. "Is it because you don't… You don't want... me?"

"No, not in any sense of the word. Believe me, I want you. I want you too much, perhaps."

"Then why…," her words trailed off. I expected the rush of blood beneath her skin, her blush to halt her words. "Why were you restraining yourself, Edward?"

Her question caught me up short. "I didn't want to hurt you," I murmured. "Bella, do you remember the spells that overtook me? Do you remember all of it?"

"Not clearly, no. I know this has happened before, but the details are hazy."

"Your body, your touch," I murmured, stepping forward. "You, Bella, you. You drive the beast in me to the surface and I am wild and wanton, willing to have you no matter what it takes. No matter if it hurts you; no matter if it kills you." I was at her side now, my hand stroking her cheek. "You are more dear to me than life, and if I have to harm myself to be with you, I would gladly suffer the fires of hell to be near you."

"Edward." Her eyes met mine, her hands resting against my chest. "You don't have to suffer. I'm here now, like you, strong. You never have to suffer again."

I closed my eyes, drinking in her words. She was right. "Bella, it's been ninety years I've held myself at bay, ninety years of restraint and discipline. Breaking these bonds may take time, my love."

"Let me see if I can help you with that."

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><p><em><strong>Please review,<strong>_


	23. Chapter 23: Letting Go

_**A/N: I'm happy to say that my ever-loving mister solved my computer's memory problems by getting me a brand new one that is wide open and ready to go. Of course, getting it set up put a bit of a damper on responding to reviews, and I hope you all will forgive me for that. **_

_**At the end of this month, I will be going to my mecca, Forks WA, with some of my Shimmer Sisters for a week of activity and visiting. Anticipation is like to kill me, but I hope to stay upright and walking around for a while yet. I can't say Crimson Edward will be finished by then, but I'll do what I can to squeeze out another chapter before I go. (Can't say if that's a "for sure" or just wishful thinking, but there it is in any case.)**_

_**Tremendous thanks to my wonderful beta, Mr. Bigg, who confirmed the track I was on and guided me into the station. It's hard to find words big enough for all the gratitude I feel, but then, you know all the words anyway. Thank you. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 22: <strong>Bella wakes from her vampiric transformation, only to find Edward lying next to her, lost in himself. Bella speaks his name, bringing him back to the living and back to her. Edward can't let go of Bella now that he's awake, and they have a moment of awkward, inappropriate touching before Edward reintroduces Bella, now a vampire, to his family. Everyone has their own perspective on Bella, and Edward listens to what they think. Carlisle is concerned about the traumas to Edward's body, but Edward decides he needs to take care of Bella's thirst before anything else and they go hunting. Bella can't keep her hands off Edward, even though he tries to refocus her on hunting. After her first kill, Edward becomes aroused by Bella's skin covered in blood, but when she tries to touch him, he starts to see crimson. Bella's feelings are hurt and she asks if he still wants her. He assures her he does, but he's having a difficult time letting go of his restraint he's held for so many years. Bella offers to help him learn to let go.

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><p><strong>Letting Go<strong>

I closed my eyes, drinking in her words. She was right. "Bella, it's been ninety years I've held myself at bay, ninety years of restraint and discipline. Breaking these bonds may take time, my love."

"Let me see if I can help you with that."

She walked to me slowly. "Edward," she whispered, her voice low and breathy. "I want you. Here. Now. " Her soft lips brushed against mine, sending a shiver up my spine. She was sensuous and luscious, yet the sensation was different; her kiss held a strength and fierceness I had never felt before. She leaned back, touching my lips with her fingertips. My tongue sought her silky skin, greedy for contact. "Just think. Now, anytime you want me, you can have me. And I can have you."

Air rushed into my lungs, filling my head with scents of the blood from kill that still lingered on her skin, combined with her own heady perfume. She pulled her hand away from my mouth with a soft whimper, and folded them on my chest. Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she brought her lips to mine, her chestnut hair in a tumble down her back. Anticipation bubbled within me, and reflexively I tamped it down, holding back my craving for her touch and need to possess her, my control asserting itself without my conscious decision.

She broke away from the kiss. "You're still resisting, Edward," she said, falling back on her heels. She was watched my mouth from beneath her lashes, her look hungry, wicked, and eager. Again, excitement welled in the pit of my stomach as my breath caught. Had she ever been so lascivious? My cock twitched upright**, **begging for attention, touch, contact, and stimulation. "Restraint, Edward," she said, licking her lips, "has no place between us, In fact, there should be nothing between us now. And never again." She returned to stand before me, closer, her breath now so warm against my skin, intensifying her scent.

"Bella," I breathed, leaning down to kiss her. She placed her hand on my mouth, keeping me at bay. She'd never refused me before, and the hurt and confusion colored my expression, words dying in my throat in disappointment. What had I done wrong?

"Wait," she said, stepping back. "Remember when we were behind the waterfall?" I nodded, unsure where she was going. "You made it look so easy. You were sex personified, Edward. I want to be that for you."

"You are, Bella," I said, stepping forward to embrace her. She put her hand against my chest and gently shook her head.

"Edward." She looked into my eyes. "You've always been so giving. I know I've accepted gifts with poor grace, but can I ask for something now?"

"Anything, love." She knew I would never miss the opportunity to give her something she desired.

"Show me you want me. Without restraint, Edward. Show me you want me with wild abandon."

"But I do, Bella. You are all I want in this world or the next. Don't you see that?"

"Prove it, Edward. I don't want words. I want to see it." A gentle push against my chest powered her momentum away from me. "Show me how much you want me."

She walked to a large rock, turned, and sat down. She crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest. All the while she watched me, her expression blank, waiting for my move. I took her in, savoring her disarray: Her dress was torn at the sides, bloody down the front, with splashes of blood against her skin. Immediately, my cock was rock hard, already straining against my jeans, and I could feel the precum wet my waistband. So, she wanted a show... I could give her that.

I pushed my toe against the heel of my other foot, shucking of my shoes as I unbuttoned my shirt. Slowly, I inched toward her, letting her bask in the exhibition that was for her alone. She gasped as my shirt fell open catching an errant ray of sunshine through the thick canopy of trees. My skin sparkled, glistening in the light, and her face showed her surprise and appreciation. Her teeth found her lip, biting down in a remaindered human habit. I let my shirt fall one sleeve after the other as I continued toward her, undoing my pants, my eyes trained on hers. "Bella. You're quite a dish," I growled. "I'm hungry for you." I stood in the forest completely naked, all at her request, all for her pleasure. She took in every inch of me with her eyes, hungry for me as well.

I stood only a few feet from her now. Her legs uncrossed as she leaned back, her expression changing from one of shock to pure lust. I dropped to my knees and crawled toward her, never blinking, never taking my eyes off my beauty, my prize, my wife. My stone erection swayed between my legs, each forward pulse pushing the wet tip against my stomach. She never looked away, unable to break the visual bond that drew me to her.. The scent of my need filled the air, and as her new, sharper senses acknowledged the change, she gulped and stopped breathing, overwhelmed by the wanton atmosphere. I crept forward on my hand and knees until I reached her foot, her tiny, white-skinned, blood soaked, perfect foot. My mouth descended to her toe, my eyes closing, and sucked the gore from her foot.

"Oh God," she moaned and let her head fall backward. I swirled my tongue around her toes, cleaning her, licking her, tasting her flavor mixed with the blood. My cock yearned for attention, rigid, droplets of need forcing their way from the tip. I dragged my mouth and tongue up the inside of her leg, pulling her foot against my balls, my length against her calf. Her skin was warm and hard, no longer fragile and frail. My tongue continued its journey, seeking out its goal. I nuzzled her pubic hair, and glanced at her face as I touched her clit.

"God, Edward!" She sat up, pushing my face into her center, one hand knotted in my hair. If I had ever doubted Bella's desire for me, those cares were completely quelled. She bucked her hips, holding me close and wanting more; I was all too eager to give it to her.

I broke free of her grip just long enough to ask, "Do you like that, Bella?"

"God, yes, Edward, yes!"

I buried my head in her crotch. Her body responded beautifully, her pussy wet and dripping on down my chin. My tongue circled her hard clit slowly, savoring every lick and suck. At first she moaned, riding the pleasure as it took her higher into ecstasy, then suddenly her entire body went stiff. I looked up to see her nipples hard and straining against the fabric of her dress, her eyes wide and unfocused, her lips trembling. I knew these signs; my sweet girl was ready to come. I bore down on her clit, planting my mouth against her lips and flicked her hard clit as fast as I could move my tongue. For just a moment, she was still and stone-like and I feared I'd missed the proper signal, but as the unintelligible scream erupted from her lips and her body twisted and bucked, I smiled against her, knowing I hit home.

Her orgasm was protracted and intense. I slowed my movements as she came but never completely stopped. Her body was different now, she could take all I could give her, a fact of which my aching cock reminded me. At last, her hand relaxed in my hair, stroking and playing with my locks. I broke contact with her hot core, sliding up her body. "Bella," I crooned into her ear, my erection at the mouth of her sex. "I want you. I need to be inside you."

"Take me, Edward," was all I needed. I thrust my throbbing length deep into her tight box, treasuring the tremors and sighs Bella made. I wouldn't last long; I wanted to pump, and pump hard, to take what I needed and wanted so badly. I opened my eyes, looking for consent in her eyes, but the world shimmered red, pounding with each pulsation of my cock.

"Bella, the red! Oh God, the red, Bella. It's back!" I felt the crimson wrap around me like a noose, choking me, pulling me away from what I wanted, what I needed. The conflict so intense, the pain of desire warring with the fear of harming her, fighting against my need, that I felt myself swooning under its hold. My head swam. I was unsure where to look, what to do.

"Edward," Bella rasped, her voice thick with pleasure. "Don't stop now! Give it to me! Give me the red, give me your cock! Don't be afraid, Edward, I want it, I can take it!" I looked away, trying to find something, anything, anything to tether me to the world and remove the crimson veil possessing me. She grabbed my face, her eyes trained on mine. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. You need to fuck me. _Now_. Hard!"

When could I ever deny her anything? The scarlet veil that had strangled me only moments before became as insubstantial as shattered glass, a memory, a bad dream. My focus returned, and all there was in the world was _her._

I lifted her hips and pressed her into my groin. She threw her arms around my neck and her head back. The tattered dress fluttered in the air obstructing my view of her perfect tits. With a growl, I tore the material away, exposing her perfect, rose petal nipples. I drove my shaft deep within her waiting walls, pumping her as hard and as fast as I could with my rigid member. I raised her ass then plunged her back down on my meat with all the speed I could muster, driving my sex into hers and fueling my agonizing yearning. She was so tight! My arousal continued to build, my flaming spear driving into her tiny mound over and over again. The tingling began in my toes, working its way up my legs, sending ripples of pleasure throughout my nerves. "Bella!" I shouted as I heaved my spewing cock deep into her, filling her with my seed. The cum shot forward with fevered ectasy, and I trembled as I emptied into her. She shook, and I felt her muscles clench around me, her body signaling another orgasm. I kept the frenetic tempo, banging her until she screamed.

Her cries and yelps of orgasm that had once been my signal to cease only served to arouse me further. As soon as she calmed, I pulled out, setting her on her feet and turning her away from me, and immediately regretted the loss of contact.

"Don't go, Edward," she cried, half turning toward me.

I pushed her forward across the rock and lifted her hips. She sensed what I was doing, lifting her legs and wrapping her feet behind me knees. "I'm not going anywhere," I snarled, plunging into her again, riding her slow and even, my voice low and urgent. "But right here." Her ass shook as our bodies met, connected in perfect counterpoint. I could not get enough of her, I could not get deep enough – but nothing would stop me from trying. My fingers pressed into her skin, but no bruise appeared, no welts, no wounds. She was as strong as I was now, she was unbreakable, insatiable, and _mine_. Our lovemaking before this time had been a prelude, a tease, and I felt as if I had never truly felt her before this moment. The idea of this, our first real union as equals triggered my release. "God, Bella, ung! Fuck me, baby. _Fuck me!"_

Bella seemed only too happy to oblige. She set her feet on the ground and began to wiggle her ass back onto my cock, pumping me, milking the cum out of my tumescence. I held her hair aside, watching her with wonder as she screwed me, skewering herself to me. She tightened her vaginal walls as she settled back onto my waiting and ready erection, nursing and sucking the cum from me. I could not contain myself, could not control my body, I was lost in the sweet sensation of my wanton wife. I moaned loudly as I came again, now pulling her hair, gripping her ass, and thrusting my wood deep into her waiting pussy.

She stood erect, our bodies still joined. Reaching back, she tugged gently on my ear and whispered, "Is it always like this?" She flexed her muscles around me, pulling my member without moving her body.

"I don't know, Bella. All I know is…," I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I'm not done with you yet." She giggled, and the movement ignited new sensations where our bodies where joined. I lifted her off my manhood and dashed in front of her. "I want to see you cum," I said, yanking her to me. "I'm afraid you've created a monster, love." I settled her in on top of me, letting her wriggle her way deeper onto my shaft. Her eyes were dark, dancing with excitement and desire. I thrust my hips up, only to pull her down again atop me as I sat on the rock. Slowly, I pushed my hard-on into her sex one again. "I like playing with your body, Bella, especially, that little clit of yours. Now, where… I believe it was…," I whispered, wetting the tip of my thumb and placing it against the core of her pleasure. "Right here, wasn't it?"

She groaned, her eyes rolling back as her lids fell forward. I was enraptured, knowing I was fueling her desire, arousing her and awakening her body to this new life. And I was awakened, too; as she required me to let go, the tale-tell crimson had evaporated, and all restraint was gone. Watching her ride my cock as my thumb worked her needy nub, I wished one more time I could hear her mind, know what she was thinking. I needed to know.

"Bella?"

"Mmph?"

"How does it feel to you? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking you're a god among men, Edward Cullen. What you're doing," she gasped as I kicked the speed of my thumb up a notch, "God, Edward, this is so good. How are we ever going to stop?"

"Who says we have to?" I replied, leaning forward to suckle at her breast. The skin was soft and smooth, pliable yet unyielding. Her taste rippled against my tongue, and I sighed deeply. My appetite for her skin, her body, had not quelled, but I felt a deep satisfaction building within my chest. I sucked harder, flicking her nipple with my tongue.

"Edward," she panted between thrusts. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yessss," I hissed, holding her nipple gently between my teeth, pumping her a little slower.

"When we made love before," she stopped, groaning, then continued. "Before I was changed, ugh, what was it like for you?" I released her nipple and slid my eyes to her face. The little v that formed between her brows when she was worried or serious materialized as I gauged her expression. I stopped moving altogether. "Show me, ok?"

"Bella, that's all past. Why now?"

"I need to know," she said, her eyes round and wide. This new life, it made one realize how little they'd seen and felt before. I searched the ruby depths of her eyes, looking for a way to show her without hurting her. Guilt and anguish should not color this moment, nor should indecision or doubt. She needed to know, and her need guided my actions. Just as she had answered my need, I answered hers.

I lifted her body minutely and settled her back against me, repeating the motion to demonstrate. Her face crumbled, dry sobs spewing from her lips. "Oh no. Oh no, Edward, I'm so sorry."

"Bella." I lowered my voice and my gaze, lifting her chin to look in my eyes. "Those were the best moments of my life until now. Don't taint those precious memories now with regret." I bent to kiss her lightly on the lips, then pulled her into the circle of my arms. "Regret, Bella," I said, using the same words and matter-of-fact tone of voice she'd used with me earlier, "has no place between us. In fact, there should be nothing between us now, and never again." As I held her close to me, I pressed my member up, then relaxed as I felt her sigh. For a moment, we sat, joined and still, simply holding each other tightly. It was a kind of heaven, salvation, a homecoming.

At long last, Bella broke the silence, pushing my chest to look in my eyes. "Do that again."

"What?"

"You know, that thing. Pull back and push inside me again."

"Anything you say, love," and rejoiced as the fever took us again.

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><p><em><strong>Please review.<strong>_


	24. Chapter 24: Birth

_**A/N: Hi Team Crimson! I'm so sorry I made you wait so long. I've just returned from vampire hunting in Forks, Washington and I have to admit, those vampires are really slippery. Every single Cullen and nomad eluded me this trip – but I haven't given up! There's still more rainforest, beach, and outskirts to explore, so it's back to Forks next year. **_

_**I know I've said it before, but as the story comes to a close (not this chapter, but soon), it bears repeating. Thank you to every loyal reader who's stayed with me throughout this story. I really want to please you as you've pleased me with you kind comments and feedback. Thank you to those who have read and not left comments as well – I know you're out there and even though there's no post from you, I still appreciate that you took the time to read this. **_

_**Lastly, of course, a HUGE thank you to my incomparable beta, Mr. Bigg. You are the shnizzle, my friend. Thank you. **_

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><p><strong>Recap of Chapter 23: <strong>Edward and Bella have sex in the forest - lots of it. As they discover each other for the first time as equals, Edward experiences the crimson vision. Bella encourages him to let go and take her, telling him there should be no restraint between them now. Edward listens to her and enjoys himself enjoying her. Bella asks Edward to show her what it was like to make love before she became a vampire. When he does, she is filled with regret. He asks her to let it go, telling her there should be no regret between them.

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><p><strong><strong>B<strong>irth**

We strolled back to the big house very slowly, our hands laced together and swinging between us. Bella's face was bright with joy, and for the first time in almost a hundred years, I was glad my heart no longer beat, for surely it would burst with happiness in this moment. We were both lost in our remembrances, and though the beautiful blush that had hotly painted her cheeks for so long was gone, reading her expressions made her thoughts clear until her smile turned a bit smug. I smiled in return, unaware of the direction of her thoughts. She walked on, saying nothing, and I could no longer resist asking.

"What are you smiling about?" I walked bare-chested and glowing in the moment. She was in adorable disarray: her dress, lost to our wanton sexuality, was replaced by my shirt. I pulled a piece of the forest floor from her locks swinging down her back.

"Oh, just… You know." She dipped her head shyly. I knew this look, this emotion; Bella was embarrassed. The absence of her blush seemed fitting and natural, given the unnatural things we'd just done to each other.

"Yes, love. I do know," I replied, smiling back at her. I was happy, content. I had never been so pleased to walk at such a slow pace. There was no rush, no need to check this or protect that; we were just two happy people in love. Though the forest around us was silent, the very air seemed to hum with bright expectancy. I tugged on her hand, pulling her against my chest. My breath caught, delighting in her long-awaited indestructibility. She giggled, grasping my free hand with hers and pulling it against my chest, where she kissed my knuckles. "What would you like to do now?"

She pulled her lip between her teeth, looking down as she kicked a rock. It sailed across the green landscape, finally crashing into a boulder and shattering into sand. "Wow," she mumbled, her eyes darting around for another rock.

"Bella, love. Focus?" Her eyes went wild as I called her back to the moment then connected back to mine, the excitement reigned in. "I know this is still new, and there's so much to learn. What would you like to do next? Do you want to see the family?" I pulled her closer and dropped my hands to her delicious backside. "Or we can stay out here and destroy a little more of the forest, if you prefer."

She pushed away, her head jerking towards home. She wheeled in front of me. "Can you hear them?" She hesitated, and then added in a whispering rush, "Can you hear _me_?"

I stepped forward slowly, doing my best to emanate acceptance and understanding. Once in my embrace again, I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs. "No, love. They're too far away, and you…" I planted a soft kiss on her lips. "I had hoped I would hear your mind when you changed, but no. I don't hear you."

Her eyes dropped immediately, the mood evaporating. She stared at her feet. "I'm sorry, Edward. My head just doesn't work right."

"Bella. I love you just as you are, sweetheart - silence and all. Who knows? Maybe I love you because of your silent mind. It's peaceful when I'm with you. You're my comfort, my respite from all that chatter." I kissed her forehead.

At last, she looked up, into my eyes. "You always find a way to make me feel better. Thank you."

I wrapped my arms around her. "Let's go home."

About a mile out, the thoughts reached me. "Carlisle's found something."

"What?" She never lost a step or a breath as we broke into a run. "Is it bad?"

"He wants to tell me in person – to tell us both." Our pace quickened until in no time at all, the large house loomed before us. Jasper stood at attention on the porch. "Edward," he greeted with a nod. He turned to Bella, arms outstretched. Welcome home, Bella."

"Thank you, Jasper," Bella whispered, returning the gesture. A feeling of warmth and peace settled around us as they embraced.

I could hear her through the thick wooden door as it flung open. Alice smiled, resting one hand on her hip. "They're in the living room."

"What do you know about this, Alice?" I asked as we blew through the doorway.

"You'll see." Her visions filled my senses, showing me the outcome of the revelations, but not the revelation itself. I didn't waste time questioning her or examining the visions too closely. Instead, I held Bella's hand more tightly as we entered the grand room. Carlisle stood by Esme, who was seated on the couch.

"What's going on, Carlisle?"

"Just a moment, Edward. Indulge me." He crossed the room in a flash, Esme still at his side. "Bella," he murmured, embracing her. "Welcome to our family."

Bella's eyes were wide as she stared at me over Carlisle's shoulder. "Thank you," she replied, her voice rising at the end to make the remark more of a question. The greeting was as warm as it was unexpected; she was just as puzzled as I. Carlisle's hug broke, and Esme stepped in, immediately taking his place.

"I'm so happy you are officially part of the family, Bella. I couldn't have asked for a nicer daughter." She turned to me, her arms looping around my waist, pulling me to her side. "And Edward, I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, mother," I croaked, emotion tight in my throat. Her mind rehashed the times I'd been alone throughout the years. She had feared I'd been too young at my change and that my body wasn't ready for love, and I watched those long-held fears dissipate into nothing as we embraced.

Emmett scooped Bella into his arms. "Well little sister, how do you like being the biggest bad ass in the forest?" Bella giggled as Emmett danced and twirled her in his arms. They were happy, laughing, enjoying the moment as I heard the familiar voice of thought approaching.

Rosalie appraised Bella's beauty. She dissected and categorized her appearance, stance, and voice as she came to my side. Watching her process was unnerving, yet I was fascinated by the lack of jealousy and envy she held, always so overwhelmingly present in her mind before Bella had been changed.. She was relaxed, approving; she seemed simply happy.

"Congratulations, Edward," she said warmly from behind me as Emmett set Bella back down beside me. I watched in my mind's eye as her fingertips reached into my hair and extracted a dried leaf, then again as she pulled another shriveled stipule from Bella's locks. Bella and I turned in unison, watching her face. She balled the desiccated foliage in her hand, grinding it to dust and smiled. "You both look so happy. It's nice to see."

Surprise overtook me as I witnessed her words fall in perfect harmony with her thoughts. Bella's arms shot forward, pulling Rose into a stranglehold embrace around her neck, and it was her turn to be surprised.

"Oh, Rosalie! I'm so happy! I was afraid you wouldn't like me!" Bella's hold grew tighter, and Rosalie's eyes bugged out as she grunted. Bella stepped back immediately, arms at her side. "Oh. Sorry. I'm not used to that yet."

Rosalie huffed in a deep breath, her thoughts filled with a tenderness she took great pains to hide. "Bella, honestly. Did you think I would be happy to see you die?" Suddenly, Bella's interest turned to her fingers and she would not raise her eyes.

"Thank you for the welcome, Rose. There will be plenty of time to talk about regrets and feelings later." I pulled Bella under my arm and turned us both towards Carlisle. "What did you find?"

"Why don't we sit down," he said, motioning to the couch. As if on cue, the rest of the family left the room.

Bella took her seat next to me, and I pulled her hand into both of mine, watching Carlisle expectantly.

"As you know, I've been doing a little research on the samples I collected from you both." Carlisle's bedside manner served him well: he watched our reactions and adjusted his gaze, looking away just long enough to dissipate our discomfort, then returning his focused regard to our anxious watch. "The research is slow going; we don't have anything to compare this to. In most human/vampire pairings, the human does not survive, so gaining information becomes difficult. But, I think I discovered what caused the red veil you saw, Edward, as well as the intermittent aging."

Bella and I looked at each other simultaneously, an ocean of questions between us.

Carlisle continued. "Your will to restrain yourself when with Bella caused the venom to become… unstable, and the walls of the cells of your venom seemed to break down and reform repeatedly. That's in keeping with the venom's healing properties that we've witnessed during transformation. But because of the absence of blood in your tissues, the cells produced an illusion of sorts, a hallucination, if you will. That's the red you saw."

I glanced at Bella, who smiled up at me. "But what about the aging? That was no hallucination."

"When you came in contact with Bella's fluids," he answered, with that same careful, practiced distraction to save our embarrassment. "The venom actually compounded with her blood and changed its structure, trying to revert your cells to look more like Bella's. Once the healing kicked back in, the symptoms disappeared."

"But the aging didn't always happen right away," Bella asked. "Why didn't it happen every time?"

Carlisle shrugged as he answered. "Delayed reaction? Intensity of the restraint? I don't have all the answers yet." He shifted his focus to my face. "You realize what this means." _You and Bella together – her chemistry and yours react to each other._

"What does that mean?" I felt something obvious was escaping my attention, but the onslaught of information blocked me from grasping the understanding.

"Each of you have your own gifts, although we may not fully know Bella's at the moment. But together, when you… uh… _conjoin_, your talents intermingle."

"Could that explain why I could hear what you heard?" Carlisle and I turned to Bella. "I kind of remember… Before, when I was still human, didn't I – didn't I hear the things you heard? I mean, you know, when that crimson thing took over." My face must have shown my shock. She continued as if answering an unspoken question. "Remember that time coming home from the honeymoon, and I think – it's so dark and hazy – but wasn't there once in the forest?"

Carlisle squinted. "It must be a powerful connection to manifest while she was still human, Edward."

I stared at my wife as his words sunk in. The connection between us had always been electric, deep, demanding, but I had never imagined how magical the bond, the consanguinity – however one-sided – actually ran. . "Yes, I see that now." I turned back to him. "But what does it all mean?"

I had known this man for so long, it was difficult to regard him as simply a friend; he was my father in all the ways the counted in this new life. His kind thoughts, words, and deeds guided me, even when I'd felt too constrained by the lifestyle he'd carved for himself. There was nothing about him that was unknown to me.

Yet here I sat, surprised at the pride and excitement that coursed through him now. It was his discovery, his work that had come to this new, startling confusion. He swallowed, gulping down the surge of emotion bubbling inside him. "It means you two, together, are something new. It's like the birth of a new race of vampire."

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><p><em><strong>Please review.<strong>_


	25. Chapter 25: Completion

_**A/N: Well. Team Crimson, here it is, the last chapter. It's a bittersweet end for me; the story has played the way I wanted, but I'm sad to move on. That being said, I wanted to let you know that I tried to give you a little more in this chapter as a thank you for your persistent reading and reviewing. This chapter is twice as long as any of the others, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it. **_

_**I'm happy to say that I've been honored by Free Writers and Readers, who have given me my own Five Star Ficster page. I will be making updates to that page, and you are welcome to join and check out the stories there. You can find them at freewritersandreaders dot ning dot com. It's a drama-free site with good people – you'll be happy you joined. **_

_**I could never have gotten through this without you, my loyal readers, and my incomparable beta, Mr. Bigg. Thank you for the steady supply of wordsmithing, ego-bolstering, think-tanking, and love you gave so freely through this little adventure. You have my admiration and love. **_

_**And with that, I say "Happy ever after, my friends." Enjoy. **_

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><p>Recap of Chapter 2: Bella and Edward had their fun time in the forest, and are casually strolling back to the house. Bella asks if Edward can hear her thoughts now, and Edward explains her mind is still silent, but that it gives him a bit of peace. Edward hears Carlisle's thoughts about a possible cause of his crimson episodes, and they race back to the house. Everyone hugs and accepts Bella into the family. Carlisle sits down with Edward and Bella to explain what he's found. Some of the answers are not there, but he feels Bella has a gift although they still don't know what it is. He explains that when Bella and Edward had sex while Bella was human, the crimson came out along with the aging. Carlisle feels that Bella and Edward together may be "a new race of vampires", something different together than they are alone.<p>

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><p><strong>Completion<strong>

"I know it's a lot to take in." Carlisle sat leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded. He kept his expression blank, and I knew it was for Bella's benefit; his thoughts spoke clearly to me.

_Edward, you need to find out more about what happens when you're together. Excuse my frankness, my old friend, but I think your work in the bedroom isn't done. _His eyes flashed to mine, checking himself, trying to ensure he hadn't offended me. _It may be difficult to concentrate, but when you are making love, you've got to ask Bella to help you while you're inside her. The change in your abilities seems to be strongest during your physical connection. _

"It, it _is_ a lot to t-take in, Carlisle," Bella stuttered and stood to speak. "But I think, I think I get it. I knew something was up, something like this." She turned to me. "When we, well, you know, we, uh. Oh, forget this." She looked over my shoulder to Carlisle. "Forgive my bluntness, Carlisle, but," and refocused on my eyes, "When we're making love, I can tell it's something… more, something other people don't have. The people I've talked to about this never say anything about the way it feels to me, like my soul's stretching and growing. That's got to be it, Edward."

"I think you need time to explore, Bella." Carlisle's manner spoke volumes about his professionalism. His hands pushed off his knees as he rose. "If you'll excuse me, I'll just leave you two alone." Carlisle exited at human speed, and I watched him go.

"So," she whispered, looking up at me.

"So, we need to talk," I replied, finishing her thought.

"I was thinking we needed to do a little more than talk." She tilted her face upward, pulling at my belt loops to bring my hips closer to hers.

"Bella, wait, love," I resisted, pushing her shoulders back. "We really do need to talk. You didn't hear what Carlisle was thinking."

Alarm passed through her expression, leaving worry in her eyes. "Why, Edward? What did he tell you?"

"Don't be frightened. You're not in any danger."

"I wasn't worried about me. You're the one who has been put at risk time and time again." She took half a step away from me, then turned her back and spun into a chair. "So… what. What did he say?"

"Now that you're more… durable," I smiled a little. "We need to test our limits when I'm inside you, my love. It may be har— difficult, but once we're making love, we'll see how far we can push my hearing. You'll have to help me, because when it comes to your body," my tongue rolled over my lips, "I find it difficult in the extreme to think of much else."

She crossed her legs, and the aroma of her arousal filled the room like heaven scent. "Okay, got it. Keep you focused. What else? What else do I do?"

"I'm unsure," I confessed. "I think the primary objective will be to continue the connection as long as possible."

"You mean, we have to keep fucking no matter what?" A licentious little smile danced across her features.

Her words were coarse, rough, so unlike her. Her wicked tongue curled around the obscenity like a lover's touch, sending an immediate jolt to my crotch and clenching the muscles in my belly. I felt my balls tighten and pull closer as my cock stiffened. I lowered my gaze, leveling my eyes into hers. I knew my expression had grown dark and my cock hard with need. I nearly growled as I spoke. "Bella..."

"No, Edward, we need to talk this out, remember?" She playfully tucked her legs beneath her, throwing her hair over her shoulder.

"I can smell your sex from here." I held her gaze, stepping closer. Her plump, perfect lip pillowed between her teeth.

Suddenly, she held her hand out to me, palm up. "And the scent of the precum bead on the tip of your cock, Edward? That's amazing." She continued to bite her lip as her brow furrowed in concentration. I moved forward, aching to touch her. Once again, she held up her hand. "Do you think I'm immune? I can smell you, too, Edward, and it's driving me crazy. But we do need to talk, or we'll never get through this. This seems important."

"We could talk later," I suggested.

"No, because we won't talk. I can hardly stand it now."

I was a bit taken back. Bella had never refused me before, in fact, I had thrown obstacles between us more than she ever had. But she was right on all points; rationality was under the crushing torment of desire that threatened to deny planning and thought. I looked at where she sat reeking of desire, and reflexively licked my lips as I turned away from her. "You're right, of course. My apologies." I fell into a chair like a sulky child, and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Bella was at my knee in a flash. "Edward, please don't. Please don't believe for _one second_ I'm not going to fuck your brains out as soon as we know what we're doing." I smiled, dropping my hand to run my fingertips across the satin of her skin. "Let's figure this out so we don't have to wait. It's what we both want."

"Well, don't wait on my account," Alice chimed from the archway, her hand on her jutting hip. "I can tell you a little about what I saw, if that will help."

"What did you see, Alice?" I drew myself up to sit straight as Bella turned towards Alice. "Bella and I were just talking about –"

"Yes, yes, I know. Look." Her mind's eye took center stage as I watched and listened. She spoke only for Bella's benefit, but her words sharpened the images in her mind. "Don't be embarrassed, Bella. I can't help it – I just see these things, ok?" Bella nodded curtly, swallowing hard. Alice ambled over and sat next to Bella at my feet. She picked up Bella's hand, holding it in hers. "While you and Edward are… hooked up," _Bella legs laced around my hips as I thrust upward from the bed. _"Focus on distance. Edward, you need to target the person you want to hear." She dropped her gaze back to Bella, and opened her mouth to speak as another image burst through. _Bella's face, so close to mine, pinched in concentration, willing me forward as I thought of –_

"Aro, Alice? Seriously? Even if we could project that far, why would we want to –"

Her eyes were back on me. "He's planning something, Edward. I keep seeing a trip to Forks," and the vision popped into her head of Aro greeting Carlisle at the forest's edge. "But I also see him staying where he is. The decision isn't firm; he's waiting on something." _Aro paced back and forth, his papery skin puckered in thought._

"So how do I focus on distance, Alice?" Bella still held her hand, searching her eyes for guidance. "Edward's done this before, trying to listen to someone specific. But I don't know how to do anything! What if I can't do it? What if now that I'm… like you, I can't do it?" Panic rose in her throat, her voice cracking.

"Bella," Alice soothed. "You can do it. I've seen you do it." _Bella legs laced around my hips as I thrust upward from the bed. Bella's face, so close to mine, pinched in concentration, willing me forward as I thought of Aro. The miles fell around me, and the voices dropped to a hum until the tenor of Aro's mind buzzed in my ears as if he stood in the same room. _

"But how!? I don't know _how_!"

"Calm, Bella. Give me your other hand." I stroked Bella's hair tenderly. She lifted her hand to Alice, watching the movement as if her hand were not her own. Bella lifted her eyes back to Alice's confident gaze. "Now close your eyes."

Bella balked as the tableau played out in Alice's mind. She'd seen this scene before, reenacting her part precisely. As I watched, I saw myself move to speak in Alice's mind.

"It's all right, love. Trust her." Bella's eyes had darted to mine, but as I spoke, she faced Alice, closing her eyes gently.

"Now, relax." Jasper appeared soundlessly at the door, and I felt his presence weave around us. I let my eyes slip closed as she spoke, watching the double vision of her memory and eyesight play in my head. "What's the farthest you've ever been from home? Don't answer, just think. Remember the plane ride? Remember the drive to Volterra? Imagine yourself carrying over the distance, the hills rolling by underneath you. Imagine your spirit soaring to Volterra, down the tunnels, and into the antechamber. Do you have that in your mind's eye? Just nod if you do." Alice's eyes studied Bella intently. Bella nodded. "Good. Now, imagine yourself around Edward, holding him close, shielding him from all the thoughts around him. Imagine yourself flying back to this room. Imagine yourself here." Alice gently let go of Bella's hands.

Bella opened her eyes. "That's all there is to it?"

I opened my eyes. "She's a shield, Alice?" Bella's face snapped to mine.

"A shield? What…?"

"On her own, yes, she's a shield." She turned back to Bella. "You can protect people from other vampire's talents." She pushed herself to standing, and spoke to both of us. "With you two together, she shields you while you read, and both of your talents amplify. That's why you can hear farther away." She flitted to the door, standing next to Jasper, hand on her hip. "Are you in the least bit curious where you were, Edward?"

"It looked like my room, except… Where'd the bed come from?"

"Alice and I got it for you for a wedding present, just until we can get something… better," Jasper replied. "Alice has taken some measures to ensure you'll have the right environment."

"We wanted to give you something more elaborate and private, but there just wasn't time, so we just had to make do. Come with me." Alice turned on her heel and vanished up the stairs. Bella glanced at me, and we sped behind Alice.

She stood outside my room, smirking. Bella and I approached slowly, my arm gently around her waist. "Don't worry; I didn't hide your precious things, Edward. Your journals are over there," she said pointing to the far wall. "Do you like?"

Alice never forgot details. I had admired this bed one day in Seattle, long before Bella was on the scene, and here it stood, large and magnificent. The black iron vines curled up the bedposts, forming a canopy of flowers overhead; the gold damask on the bed smelled of lavender and fresh linen, inviting. "It's perfect, Alice. Thank you." I leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of her little pixie head. "What do you think, Bella?"

"It's so big. And the flowers on the top, that's so cool," she replied, awestruck. "When did you get this? How did you get it in here?"

"You can thank Jasper for that." Jasper appeared beside Alice, snaking his hand around her waist.

"Thank you," Bella gushed. She turned to me. "Well?"

"We'll leave you to your work," Jasper grinned, pulling Alice away. His thoughts lingered over the prevalent sexual tension between Bella and me, tasting it. I noticed the tightness of his clothing in his thoughts. "You and I have a bit of work to do, too, little missy." And they were gone.

Bella turned back to me and I scooped her up into my arms. "Mrs. Cullen," I purred into her hair. "I have some very nasty things I'd like to do to my wife."

"Nasty?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Filthy."

"Oh, I see." She leaned into my neck. "How will we ever concentrate?" Her lips brushed the skin of my neck, discovering a heretofore unknown erogenous area on my body. I shivered with pleasure, bending my head over hers.

"Do that again."

"What, what was it you liked?" The wisps of breath across my collarbone tantalized me, and again, I shivered with blissful delight. "That?" Her lips settled into the crook of my neck, and my eyes closed of their own accord and my lips parted. "You like this, my husband?"

I set her down on the bed and followed, landing atop her. "Yes, I like that very much, love." She giggled a tiny laugh then licked my skin. I growled and nuzzled her hair, seeking out a similar spot on her soft and silken skin.

She arched her back, hands flying to the back of my head as she pulled me closer. "Oh God, Edward! Bite me, bite me there!"

I knew we had things to do, things to explore, important things to test, to experiment, and yet, everything Carlisle had said, everything he asked, every plan Alice had made fell away from me like a glass full of roses shattering on tile in that moment. My reasons for hesitancy were lost, and before me was a beautiful, wanton woman who had beguiled me from the first day, from the first moment I'd laid eyes on her. And she wanted me – me! – to bite her neck.

I clamped to her neck and drew my teeth against her skin. She moaned and shivered, her legs wrapping around me as she clutched at my back. I washed my tongue over the bite, soothing, sensitizing, and bit again, letting her flesh roll gently between my teeth. In all my years, my bite had only conjured death, but now, for the first time in my existence, I was begged for more and felt powerless to do anything but to do as I was bade. Her skin was delicate and delicious, a feast to have over and over and over again.

Bella's hands tugged at my belt, my hair. I pulled myself away, stripping quickly. She sat up on the bed and began to pull the shirt over her head. "Bella, stop. Please." She held my gaze, confusion and pain storming across her eyes. "No, love. Allow me."

I knelt naked before her as she moved to the side of the bed. Without breaking contact with her eyes, I undid the buttons, one by one, starting at her throat. I glanced down as I finished the last button, opening the shirt. Her unveiled skin, hard, satiny, seemed to call to me, to my heart, to the life I held within me, and I moaned. She leaned forward, taking my mouth in hers in a fierce kiss, her tongue darting into my mouth tasting, sucking. I pushed the shirt away and stood to throw it aside.

"Edward, stop. Please." I found her eyes, my own expression full of questions. "Allow_ me_." And she bent forward, taking the length of my cock into her mouth. I watched her with utter fascination, standing motionless as she licked, sucked, and swallowed my erect member again and again. I knew we had shared our virginity with only one another, but the sheer perfection of her touch… how could she know it would drive me to the brink of senselessness, insane with pleasure. As if reading my thoughts, she moaned around my shaft as she pulled back. "You like?"

"Stupid question, silly girl," I growled, and pushed her back on the bed. "I love. I love you." I pressed my mouth to hers, letting my lips explain the depth of my pleasure. Her body writhed and moaned below me, and I longed to taste her more deeply, more intimately.

My kiss broke away from her mouth to rejoin her at her collarbone, her breast, her navel, her sex. My hands were never still, sliding across her skin in constant motion, a hunger set loose against her body. The exploration of her body would be always incomplete, taking constant vigilance and devotion to map out each spot, every inch, each fold and wrinkle that gave her joy. I set about my work.

The ambrosial scent of her femininity beckoned me with its siren call. I pushed my face against her lips, thrusting my tongue inside her womanhood then retracting, fucking her with my tongue, lapping at the sweet wetness that was my reward. Again she moaned and writhed, her legs now over my shoulders. I grasped her hips from underneath, and pulled my face up to her clit. The hard nub of skin pulsed against my lips and tongue, and Bella's breathing became labored. Swirling around the tiny mound, I sucked and battered her flesh with my soul kiss as I slid my fingers inside her. I pumped her pussy as her clit grew impossibly harder, her muscles stretched and taut. Her hands laced into my hair as she drove my face against her. She let loose a long scream as she clenched around my fingers, bucking her hips and smashing my face to her box. I rode her orgasm with her, slowing and flattening my tongue as she descended from her high.

She didn't speak, she didn't move. I pulled my face away from her body, an old fear welling inside me. Had I hurt her? Had I displeased her? I opened my mouth to speak.

She moved with such speed and grace, she took me completely by surprise. Her mouth was once again on mine, her tongue twisting and battling with mine. "You taste like me," she breathed, her voice husky with desire and sex. She replanted her kiss, pulling me up to lie beside her. She looked into my eyes. "God, Edward. Never let me go."

I moved closer to her, my penis resting against her belly. She looked down, taking my member in her hands, stroking and caressing my length and fondling my balls. She handled me with the gentlest of care, watching as the little drops of precum glistened on its head. "I want this." She looked up into my eyes. "I want you inside me, Edward. I need you."

I slid her body up until she was face to face with me. She wrapped her legs around me. "I need you, too, Bella. More than I can say, more than I can bear." And with my last word, I slowly pressed inside her, feeling her slick walls slide over my rock-hard shaft. She sighed closing her eyes.

I pumped my hips against her, slowly, luxuriating in the sensation as I watched her face. Her eyes half opened and I could see she was enjoying this as much as I was. All my years of restraint, of denying myself evaporated into the ether as we lay joined; this, this union, this deep need at last fulfilled – this is why I had been born.

"Edward, promise you'll never let me go." She rode me slowly, lying on the soft pillow of her hair as I ground her onto my burning cock.

"I promise, love." I could never leave her, never. I would not survive without this, this bond of love.

"Swear." The earnestness and need in her voice was an aphrodisiac, and my manhood swelled impossibly harder.

I punctuated my point on a push. "I swear, Bella." With her in my arms and joined as we were, I would have given any oath, sworn any promise she asked that would keep me with her as long as she desired. That the oath she demanded was nothing but my life, my love, my desire, it was easily made.

I righted us, sitting face to face on the bed, my legs hanging down. My hands moved to her temples, pulling her hair away from the beauty of her face. "My wife. My love. My heart." My cock accentuated each word, pushing deeper into her as I spoke. "I am beyond my own life now, Bella. I am your life as you are mine. Together," I paused to kiss her swollen mouth. "Only together, from now until eternity." My thrusts became more demanding, driving as deeply as I could into her tight wetness. She understood my urgency, moving in rhythm with my vows, until she was impaling herself on my member, bouncing with pleasure.

I felt myself disconnect from the earthly plane, taken to a new level of sensation through our lovemaking. Background voices came into sharper focus and Alice's voice sounded in my head. _It's happening now, he's hearing me right now,_ Alice's eyes were bright with excitement as Jasper held her hands. I let her voice drop and drift, swept away in the desire and sensuality of our bodies melting together in harmony. _But where could they have gone? Vegas? Canada? What if he… what if she… I just need to know she's okay. Alice said she'd call when she'd heard something, but it's been two days! _The panicked bass voice trailed away, replace by a laughing female thought. _I told you, you can't see the dress until I'm walking down the aisle, Jacob! _The voice was familiar; Leah. _You know I won't look, Leah. I want it to be just the way you've always dreamed, sweetheart. _I realized I'd just heard La Push some fifteen miles away, if not further. Jacob and Leah running through the forest. I slowed my thrusts.

"What's wrong?" Bella panted, slowing in unison.

"Nothing, it's just –"

"You hear them," she finished. "I know, I can hear them - Leah and Jacob, Alice. And Charlie. He's worried and scared." She came to a stop, her arms around my neck. "I know they're there, Edward. I hear them, too. I was trying really hard to ignore them." She bit her lip and added, "I was busy," she snickered, pulling herself to my lips and planting a quick, soft kiss on my mouth.

"It's sort of why we're here, though."

"I know." Her brow creased. "I'm just greedy, I guess." She started to pull away; I held her in place.

"Hey," I whispered, letting my emotion gentle my words. "You're not going anywhere. Stay with me, let's work through this. I'll never let you go, love. I promised." I leaned into her, kissing her deeply. "Let's see what we can do."

"Okay, what first?"

"Remember what Alice told you? Let's try that – but maybe not Italy first. We heard La Push," and just to emphasize my point, I gave her a little la push of my own. Her sharp intake of breath let me know she'd gotten the point. "Let's try for the British Columbia where we were married. I'll listen for Marge."

"Okay." She closed her eyes, and began to slowly bob on my manhood. It was a kind of heaven, her movements rubbing slowly against my sensitivity, her eyes closed in concentration. I watched her absorption as the murmurs in my head rushed by. Suddenly, Marge's friendly and confident voice took form in my mind. _So, number 3 is gone today and that couple from Manitoba's coming in tonight. Nice kids. I hope it works out for them; they have a tough road ahead of them with a baby already on the way. _

"I hear her, Bella."

"Okay. So do I, something about a couple having a baby?" Her eyes were still closed, her attention narrowed and intense with her corradiation of effort. She bobbed slowly: up and down, up slowly, down fast, up softly, down with force.

"Yessss," I hissed as she flexed the walls of her pussy around my length. The soft friction of her body against and around mine was sweet and delicious. She continued to move, a smile playing at the corner of her lips.

"Let's try Renee in Florida," she whispered as she came down, grinding on my cock. "You _up_ for it?" I flexed my hips, pushing my cock deeper to answer. "Mmm. I like that."

"Your body is driving me mad," I mumbled against her skin. We were so connected, conjoined, I found it difficult to tell where she ended and I began. I twitched my love muscle, letting her feel the intensity of my desire. A small but sharp squeal escaped her throat, and I sucked the skin of her neck in response. "Bella, your skin… your skin is all I want…"

"All I've ever wanted," she finished for me. "Concentrate." The pounding pulse of her thrusts onto my cock made thinking near impossible. "We've… got to… try… Try Edward." She stopped her agitation for a moment, grinding her hips to mine, impaling herself more deeply. "Try."

Of course she was right; she was perfect, an angel sent to fuck me to Heaven. I let my eyelids fall shut, disassociating myself from the warmth that squeezed me, sucked me, slayed me and thought of Renee, Florida, miles away.

A bitter sapidity rolled across my pallet as I became aware of the cessation of Bella's movement. I opened my eyes, and found myself staring directly into hers.

"What's wrong?" We chimed in unison.

I broke the tension. "Please, love, you go first."

"Um, it's just that… it's my _mother_, Edward. It's just sort of…"

"Creepy? Yes, I got that. I could taste the 'ew' factor in the air," I acquiesced. She rested her head on my shoulder, her chest to mine, and I could feel the change in her body: her sex that had been so wet and inviting seemed to shrivel around me, losing its slick grip, and my body responded with a similar lack of excitement.

"I kind of need to, uh…"

"Get back in the mood?"

"Yeah."

I kissed her collarbone gently, then bent my head to rest on her shoulder. We held each other, motionless, listening to the soft susurrations of our breath. Moments passed, until suddenly Bella raised her head, her body at attention.

"Hey, what is that?"

"What?"

"On the nightstand, there – that book," she said questioningly, pointing behind me. I pivoted around, Bella still in my arms, craning my neck to see. On the nightstand sat a trade paperback in dark blue, a grey necktie its only decoration beside the title that read, "Fifty Shades of Grey."

"I think that's Alice's idea of a joke," I huffed.

"You know that book?"

"Only by reputation," I answered as a similar thought occurred to me. "Do _you_ know that book?"

Bella's bottom lip was in for a test as she ground her teeth into it, looking down. "Well, I, uh," she stammered, clearly uncomfortable. Her embarrassment was so palpable, I could almost see the remnants of her blush. "Maybe I looked at a page or two."

"You don't have to be ashamed, Bella. Many women have read the book; it's a national bestseller."

"I know. And I'm not ashamed," she declared, still looking down.

"Baby," I whispered lifting her chin with my forefinger. "Did it get you hot?"

She lifted her eyes to mine through her lashes and nodded.

"Tell me about it," I begged. My manhood responded instantly.

"I just," she swallowed, feeling the growth of my shaft below her. "There are some things he did to her that sort of reminded me of… well, when you do them to me." Her body squirmed and shifted, poising herself over my cock once again. "It made me want you."

"I'll do anything you want me to, love. Anything." Her lips tickled my tip, and I wanted nothing more than to join with her again, hard, fast, furiously.

"Then let's get this show on the road. Where should we go?" She settled only a tiny bit over me, so that only the very head of my dick touched her downy folds; it was erotic, maddening, frustrating, and glorious. One hand clutched and fisted in the duvet covering the bed, the other supporting Bella's back. I swallowed the pools of venom in my mouth, trying to compose an answer that did not sound like a plea.

"Shall we try for Phil, instead?"

Bella's expression clouded over for a moment as she bit her lip, still holding herself above me. "Let's just go for it. All the way, all the way to Volterra. What do you think?"

"I think I will shred these lovely linens and demolish this beautiful bed if you don't give me your body soon, Bella."

"Can we do it?" She lowered herself a little more, and I struggled against the urge to ram my hips up into her. "Oh who cares? Fuck me, Edward!"

"Your wish is my command," I grunted as my hips flexed to meet her descending wetness. I sighed loudly, pulling her down, grinding up into her. The need was so great, the need to be inside her, possessing her, possessed by her. I pulled her back onto the bed, all the while forcing my rock hard shaft in and out of her tight little box. She moaned, stretching back atop me, letting me do the driving. She was perfection, beauty, sex; I could not get enough, but I would never stop trying.

She pumped deliciously over my rod, forcing herself down over my bone. The sensation of her passion was powerful and vivid, and I could resist no longer. My balls tightened close to my body as the orgasm drew up my legs and out the end of my manhood. "Ungh! Fuck, Bella! Fuck!" I erupted, losing myself in time and space; I was no longer connected to the world, to reality, rather only connected to _her_. I gripped her hips with all my might, clutching and holding onto whatever shred of sanity I had left as the waves of pleasure overtook me. Images of Bella in all her forms, clumsy, shy, embarrassed, aroused, excited, sleepy – they all crashed through my skull in a mix of love and need and want as guttural noises issued from me without thought or meaning, and I rejoiced in the openness of my heart and mind.

My wife never slowed, never rested. It seemed the strength of her new life agreed with her wholly, and she reveled in the absence of fatigue. What a sight to watch her! She leaned forward on my chest, lifting and dipping her ass over me. I became lost in the rhythm of her movement, the allure of her features. My nipples were erect beneath Bella's pressing hands. Her walls began to tighten and squeeze, and her face was a mask of concentration. Watching my beauty as she prepared for her own orgasm filled me with satisfaction and yet, I still longed for her. I could not get her close enough, more connected to me. I wondered idly as she forced her sex over mine again and again, her hair poured around her shoulders and down her back, I wondered if I could hear her mind, would then my need be slaked? I drove my hips upward, and pulled away as she moved, increasing the friction in tempo with her thrusts. Her perfect, pert breasts bounced and trembled as she worked my rod, but she did not come. She was holding back, and the reason eluded me. I slid my hand to her clit, rubbing the tiny nub with my thumb to help her let go.

"If you do that, I'll come," she breathed with exasperation. My hand dropped away immediately. "I'm trying to concentrate on Volterra."

"Oh," I replied lamely. In the heat and passion of my orgasm, I'd brushed aside the reason for our lovemaking, the test of our talents together. I closed my eyes, focusing on what I could hear and let the cadence of her strokes mesmerize my thoughts. I focused on the tenor of Aro's mind, his presumed authority and confidence, his utter fascination with his own abilities. It felt as though I moved in time and space though the meter of her movement anchored me to the bed.

_Acquisitions, such a delicate game. So many little players who think themselves big. Perhaps a little visit to Forks is all I'll need. Just to check on the shield, of course, just to ensure she will be changed. Alice did a splendid job displaying that little transformation – so very tantalizing, those snippets and glimpses! And Alice herself, quite a morsel. The blonde could be an issue… Though he'd cooperate for Alice… I'm being greedy, aren't I. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tripping over my own avarice. At least some things never change._

"Bella?"

"I hear him, too, Edward," she panted. "Just keep listening. Find out what he's going to do."

"_Master."_

"_Yes, Jane? What is it, dear one?" _

"_There is a growing threat from the east. An uprising." _She offered her hand in explanation, and Aro took the tiny appendage in his hands.

_The Romanians! On the move! Gathering Europeans and – what's that? Werewolves? Can the beasts be so ignorant as to stand against us? _He watched the images of rebellion and discontent play out as I watched him. _This is so odd. Well, let them come. I hear something else, here, too. An echo? Does someone watch my moves?_

My eyes flew open and I gasped as I saw the thought form in his head. We had reached clear around the globe, and somehow, he had sensed my presence!

"What's wrong, Edward?" Bella's eyes were on mine and her movements slowed, though her walls still pulsed and squeezed my swollen member. "What did that mean?"

"He could hear me," I breathed. "I don't understand how… Let me think." I glanced around the room, taking in visuals as anchors while I concentrated, forcing my mental presence to stand outside Aro's notice.

_That is most curious, but today is a day for curiosities, isn't it? An uprising after all these years, hmpf. Acquisitions and keeping them, my, my my. Such a delicate game indeed. My little trip will have to wait. First, we must settle the unrest. Perhaps we will snag an acquisition or two there._

"_Brothers! Jane brings the most interesting news!" _He dropped her hand and turned his back to her. _"Caius, you'll be pleased. The Romanians are planning an attack. Let us counsel on our line of defense." _He turned back to the diminutive vampire. _"Thank you, Jane. You've served us well today, dear one. Please ready your brother for our… guests."_

"He's not coming to Forks," Bella whispered as I sighed in relief. She shifted back, my cock still inside her, letting her body relax. She let out a long, low breath.

"Are you all right, Bella?"

She laughed, an angel rejoicing. "Yes, Edward, I'm more than all right! Do you realize what we've done? We've projected halfway around the world!" She laughed again, falling forward onto my chest.

Though we were still joined, I felt a grimness take hold of me. Our achievement, our successes, my own unattained desire – so much had changed and yet, frustration still remained. Bella herself had changed, now durable and everlasting. Our lives would intertwine infinitely, and together, we would face the world and whatever triumphs and challenges our combined talents would bring. She still had so much to learn about this life, about herself, about… I shook my head , cursing myself for my own morose and pessimistic nature. Didn't I have most everything I'd wanted? Wasn't this enough?

"Edward?" Bella pulled her chin to my chest, looking up at me. "What is it? What's wrong?"

I shook my head again gently, a pained, weak smile coloring my expression.

"No, you need to tell me, Edward. Nothing between us, remember?"

"We've achieved so much today, Bella, so much more than I ever imagined."

"But?"

"Nothing, love. Please. Ignore me."

"Edward," she said flatly, drawing up so that she knelt on top of me. "You may have noticed it is _impossible_ for me to ignore you. From the first day I met you, I've never been able to get you out of my mind. You've been in my thoughts, my dreams. Edward, you are my life now." She fell forward, softly biting my jaw. "Besides, you're inside me. How am I supposed to ignore that?"

I flexed my rod inside her, and she gasped. This love, this closeness. We could go on forever, never growing tired of each other. Our bodies were as compatible as our minds… Her mind. I sighed again.

"Why don't you just _tell _me?"

"Bella, it's silly and minor," I mumbled, realizing I sounded like a pouting child. I tugged on her hand, pulling it to my lips and kissing her knuckles. "Let's make love." I leaned up to kiss her.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Tell me this instant."

I looked up at her, her expression angry and impatient. "With everywhere we've been, everywhere we've gone, I still can't hear the one thing I want to hear most in the world. I thought perhaps after your rebirth that I would… but no."

"What?" Her brows pulled together, forming that little v that gave away her thoughts.

"I still can't hear _your _mind, Bella."

She fell to my side, her hands sliding across my skin, her arms encircling me in a hug. "Edward, I'm so sorry."

"You have no need to apologize, Bella. It was only my ego that was wounded, something I should have released a long time ago." I gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Let it go, sweetheart. It isn't worthy of your attention. Please."

She lay beside me, her arms still clutching me tightly. Moments passed, and though I should have known, I asked, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking how I can give you what you need."

"Bella…"

"No, wait. Listen," she explained, pulling up on one elbow. "We've been around the world. It took concentration and," she swallowed loudly. "Sex. If we can get around the world, what would happen if we both focused on my head while we, as we… well, you know." Her fingers circled my nipple, and I returned the gesture on her petal-soft areolas. "I mean, we _are_ a 'new race of vampires'."

With blinding speed, she raised herself on all fours, her head pointing to my toes and took my member in her mouth. The heat of her wet tongue around my shaft was so unexpected and erotic, I let out a long, deep moan. "Yes, Edward, that's what I want." She rubbed the flat of her tongue against my sensitive head; I had to hold back the orgasm that threatened. Once again, it was difficult to accept that Bella had been as inexperienced as I given her cock-sucking talents. She seemed to follow some unwritten map of my most sensitive, needy areas, and gave me exactly what I wanted, what I needed, as the need arose. Her long hair formed a curtain, blocking my view, so I swept her hair to one side, watching as her mouth and cheeks distended with each downward thrust. One of her hand pressed up beneath my balls with every upward suck, while the other jacked the expose flesh my shaft. I was punch-drunk and in love; my tiny cocksucker, giving me her all. I had to reciprocate.

I lifted one of her legs, placing my face directly below her glistening sex. Extending my tongue, I lightly teased the hard nub of her clit. She did not cease her ministrations; it was her turn to moan and send vibrations through my swallowed sex, exacerbating my excitement. I needed more, I wanted more of her. My hands reached around her perfect ass, and, finding her wet center, my long fingers plunged deeply inside. She grunted, sucking harder, faster, deeper. It became a kind of contest, one we would both win.

"Edward," Bella gasped, fisting her hand over my cock. "Try it. While I'm here, try it now." She replanted her lips to my penis and resumed sucking and pumping. I was lost in the pleasure, unable to decipher her meaning. Try? Try… Her lips pulled up, her teeth slid down. My God, I would not last long if I didn't…

My thought trailed off as an image popped in accompanied by the sweetest voice I'd ever heard. _I love this man, mmm. How is it that his cock tastes so good? How can he be so good at this? Oh, he hears me now! Oh God! Edward! I love you! Remember? _Images of the drive to Port Angeles, the concert, the day in the woods, the deer so close, the tree growing from the rock; it all crashed through my head with immediacies of affection. She loved me. _I love you. _Each act, each touch, each caress was guided by her love for me. She had no prior knowledge of sex, she'd been pure when we met, but her body and soul had responded with the acceptance of my love, and reflected love back to me. _Baby, give me what I want. _Her imagination feed a picture of my orgasm, the orgasm _she_ invoked. I was helpless against her need, and let my ejaculate fly, shouting her name into her crotch as I came.

She never lifted her head, never missed a single beat. My balls relaxed as she slowed, though my body was still rigid with desire. I tongued her pussy as I fingered her slit, listening to the slap of wetness against my palm. Her legs began to tremble, and I increased the tempo of my swirling tongue, circling the nub. The voice, that sweet, perfect voice! _God, how does he do that? How could he be a virg- Oh! _She opened her eyes and looked down, and I could see my chin buried in her sweet center as she saw it. I flipped her over, my service never stopping. _Right there, oh sweet Lord! _ Her body convulsed and shivered, and I knew I would be forever addicted to the stereo of her orgasm, seeing her with my eyes and through her in my mind.

Bella made a small whimper. I pushed myself up her body, letting my kisses mark the trail I would follow. When I reached her mouth, her delicious, honeyed lips, I swept my tongue across before planting my mouth on hers. She sighed.

"Had enough for one day?" I asked, jokingly. My body had other ideas, however; I was still hard and excited.

"Never. I guess you're stuck with me."

"I know myself, my feelings, and forever is exactly how long I will love you. I can't speak for what the future holds; who can say what tomorrow brings?" My face drew into a lopsided smile. "Who besides Alice," I laughed. "I guess we'd better tell Carlisle."

"_Carlisle?_" Bella exclaimed. "What are we going to tell Charlie!?"

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